Faking Neurodivergency

[Annaa]

Sorry, what i said was wrong i shouldn’t just assume that people are faking, since I don’t know what is going on in there head or how they feel, and it’s also not really any of my business, since I don’t really care if anyone is faking being neurodivergent or not.
I will try to think more before I speak, sorry for the confusion.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Difficult to say. Sometimes when you're young, have a bit of low self-esteem, a bit self-conscious, and want to be a part of a group or have something in common with a friend,...there can be some degree of "faking" going on. I can remember what it was like to try to fit in somehow.

I am not saying that is what it is though.

All I can say is that a psychologist and some testing will reveal the truth.

 

[Calrid]

You have to be careful don't you, with disgnosing others, there's that thing where you are picking up on their mental state because you have a certain mental state, so your leaning more towards them being x than y: Cognitive bias, only seeing that which confirms your reasoning and ignoring other things. hypersentivity to not just sound but any stimulus is common in people with ADHD.

 

[Berushka]

I agree, it's difficult to say. I can see around myself that (for myself unknown reasons) these ADHD and autistic diagnosis are "trendy" (I was told by my previous psychiatrist, she didn't believe I was Asperger's (she was 99 % sure) and I was faking it because it's modern thing). I think the most valuable information will be gathered by your friend's parents, since they raised them and saw the actual symptoms, that would indicate their diagnosis. For example, even though I was sensing overstimulation by class noise and lights in elementary school, I didn't behave "autistic", I was trying to behave normally. That means that your friend doesn't have to fake it, mabye they're just experiencing it differently.

But as I said, if they're not oficially diagnosed, maybe ask their parents.

 

[Qoyote]

Even if it's fake or she's not self-aware enough to get the right answer she'll grow out of it. She's 13, right? She could be a lot dumber.

Never liked the "how dare you self diagnose" stuff you see online. I bought into that when I was your age, and even though I obviously had ADD, I'd been medicated before and I was hurting myself, I decided I was fine because I didn't trust what I knew. I thought I just wanted attention and I didn't have the right to act like I was really hurting, and I thought like that until I was 17 or 18. I don't know how common that is but that's my experience.

Also jesus christ diagnoses are expensive, I never knew til I came here but some people pay $500-1,000 to tell them what they were 90% sure about to begin with.

I'm obviously biased but I think the internet makes fakers look more common than they are, at least for common stuff like ADHD. Once they decide they wanna make fun of some group they'll see them everywhere cause it gives them more chances. Besides, half the people here are self-diagnosed.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

Why is that important for you?

People fake friendships, intelligence, love, pleasure... That person might actually think that its neurodivergent, might be neurodivergent or might be neurotypical. Does it make a difference for you?

 

[Annaa]

I agree, it's difficult to say. I can see around myself that (for myself unknown reasons) these ADHD and autistic diagnosis are "trendy" (I was told by my previous psychiatrist, she didn't believe I was Asperger's (she was 99 % sure) and I was faking it because it's modern thing). I think the most valuable information will be gathered by your friend's parents, since they raised them and saw the actual symptoms, that would indicate their diagnosis. For example, even though I was sensing overstimulation by class noise and lights in elementary school, I didn't behave "autistic", I was trying to behave normally. That means that your friend doesn't have to fake it, mabye they're just experiencing it differently.

But as I said, if they're not oficially diagnosed, maybe ask their parents

Even if it's fake or she's not self-aware enough to get the right answer she'll grow out of it. She's 13, right? She could be a lot dumber.

Never liked the "how dare you self diagnose" stuff you see online. I bought into that when I was your age, and even though I obviously had ADD, I'd been medicated before and I was hurting myself, I decided I was fine because I didn't trust what I knew. I thought I just wanted attention and I didn't have the right to act like I was really hurting, and I thought like that until I was 17 or 18. I don't know how common that is but that's my experience.

Also jesus christ diagnoses are expensive, I never knew til I came here but some people pay $500-1,000 to tell them what they were 90% sure about to begin with.

I'm obviously biased but I think the internet makes fakers look more common than they are, at least for common stuff like ADHD. Once they decide they wanna make fun of some group they'll see them everywhere cause it gives them more chances. Besides, half the people here are self-diagnosed.

Thank you for your answer! My friend actually said that they were diagnosed by an actual psychologist wich is why I was so confused, but maybe the best thing I could do is speak to them about it and ask them about it, thank you again!

Why is that important for you?

People fake friendships, intelligence, love, pleasure... That person might actually think that its neurodivergent, might be neurodivergent or might be neurotypical. Does it make a difference for you?

it doesn’t necessarily make a different for me because we will be friends regardless and I like them regardless, it’s just that my friend is saying that they are diagnosed by a psychologist even tough their relatives deny it.
I think maybe I should just speak to them about it i just wanted some clarity from people who have more knowledge than me before I assume things.

 

[Atrapa Almas]

You could destroy your friendship by forcing someone to face their lies.

Lies are important for many people, and the reason behind lies are more important that lies themselves.

That is true in friendships and love. If lies are not used to abuse of others, its better to respect them.

My 2 cents.

 

[Darkkin]

There is a 40 - 60% comorbidity rate with autistics and ADHD. More importantly one's diagnosis literally is not anyone else's business. If they want to talk about it, that is their choice, but it is their business and their business alone. Assuming they are faking or wrong about a diagnosis seems like unnecessary prying.

Just my opinion, but I don't want my freinds asking or speculating about my psychological diagnoses. It isn't their business. They know I'm autistic and ADHD. No more, no less.

Let your friend be your friend. Don't pigeon hole people.

 

[Forest Cat]

I'm just a little confused, are you talking about a group of friends or one person?

 

[Annaa]

I am sorry, I didn’t notice what I said what kinda controversial at first, you’re right it really shouldn’t be any of my business and I shouldn’t be assuming that people are faking or not.

 

[Annaa]

I'm just a little confused, are you talking about a group of friends or one person?

One person

 

[Darkkin]

I am sorry, I didn’t notice what I said what kinda controversial at first, you’re right it really shouldn’t be any of my business and I shouldn’t be assuming that people are faking or not.

It is a social boundary thing. People's privacy matters. Just something to be conscious of.

The concept of faking an ND is an interesting topic, but keep the subject objective with hypothetical situations, not people one actually knows.

Autistics mask to fit into normal society. Faking an ND just sounds like a colossal amount of work for what gain? People do a lot of illogical things, but faking an ND would only further ostracize an individual, not result in desired attention.

Psychology is a very complicated and fascinating subject. A condition known as Munchausen's is a condition wherein an individual fakes an illness (in themselves) for attention and/or material gain. Munchausen's by Proxy is the faking of an illness in a healthy person (usually a child) by a caregiver (usually a parent), for attention and/or material gain.

 

[Gerontius]

I am sorry, I didn’t notice what I said what kinda controversial at first, you’re right it really shouldn’t be any of my business and I shouldn’t be assuming that people are faking or not.

Controversy & all that aside, at least you were curious how your friend's doing. Some folks don't have good friends who check in on them. We all make mistakes here & there.

You seem like a very good person anyway.

 

[Slim Jim]

I Fake. I fake a lot. I Fake Neurotypicalness.

No, but I'm very real. This label , that was slapped on me is very real. I didn't ask for it, or want it.

 

[Fino]

It's unlikely, but through certain circumstances, I saw a therapist when I was 14 without my parent's knowledge and was diagnosed.

 

[Darius]

Ok, when you say "they are a nice person", the sentence doesn't make any sense, just so you know. Very confusing for people, difficult to reply to.

It makes sense. It's used for a long time as singular they, especially when one doesn't want (or doesn't know) to share the person's gender.
They is also used as one of the most common non-binary pronoun.
It is grammatically correct, so best not argue about that. We in the transgender community are too tired with this take It'd be similar to "people with autism" or "puzzle symbol" talk with NT.
Btw, English is not my first language.