Family Get together + Sick... Protocol = Attend anyway?

[Effy]

I've been sick for the past week, and I've tried to get better. Maybe it's me being weird, but I'm a perfectionist/workaholic (I work at home and live with my grandmother), and I hate asking for help and/or making a big deal out of stupid things like being sick, because then people try to micromanage my life ten times more than usual.

The get together is here... It's in about 4 hours. I'm sporting a temperature that is the equivalent of 100.2F (98.2), as my average body temperature runs low. (For anyone who cares to argue: I was actually part of a study shortly after being diagnosed with the flu at only 98.1F.) I'm miserable...

I understand it's a Christmas thing and that the family should be together, but doesn't my health have any say?

I was greeted this morning with my grandmother saying, "[Name], are you okay? How are you feeling?" ... "Well, you need to brush your hair... or take a shower. Do both. Make yourself look better. People will be here soon today for our Christmas thing. Is that your medicine...? Put it up high and hide it in case kids wonder in here. Maybe clean up a little bit."

Whilst I'm not enjoying this being sick thing and am not one for revenge, if they get sick, it's not my fault...

I'm not extremely verbal, either. I don't talk just to talk. I don't argue my case that I'm sick. Maybe it's a vice, but I just don't...ever. It's all weird to me.

This, though, is a new thing. I understand it's the first Christmas since losing her husband/my grandfather, but a family member being sick should take precedence over a family get together tradition... we have babies here, AND I HAVE to go to my other grandmother's house next week sometime because I have some things I need to do there, and I just need to see them.

And also, 2 of the babies are my siblings. They will WANT me to hold them, etc.

I'm sick. I can barely stand up without feeling nauseated.

I don't understand how taking a shower and making myself "look better" is supposed to make me feel better... Yes, I look like crap. WHY in the WORLD should I have to cover that up?! SO WHAT if they think I look bad? I'M SICK. And I don't care what people think when I'm sick.

I already risk my life every get together because, for some reason, people don't understand the death penalty NUTS have on me and bring them anyway. (Seriously, is one nut-free family get together too much to ask for?)

 

[DogwoodTree]

Can you lock yourself in your room and put a sign on the door that says you have the flu? If it were my babies, I would NOT want to be around someone with the flu, like you said. Depending on how young they are, it can be a very real health risk for them.

 

[Effy]

Can you lock yourself in your room and put a sign on the door that says you have the flu? If it were my babies, I would NOT want to be around someone with the flu, like you said. Depending on how young they are, it can be a very real health risk for them.

Nope. "You need to be a part of the family."
I don't even know if it's the flu... I didn't mention that, not that I know of. I simply mentioned that I had had the flu at around 98 degrees.

This family... "sick" is different for them. I'm apparently dramatic and "always sick". It's as if having so many allergies automatically means I can ONLY get sick with allergies.

Considering I get sick every Christmas with strep, however, I do think it is that. There's no way out, other than passing out, I assume. I took the Equate equivalent of Benedryl, so... If I pass out/fall asleep, that's it. That's all the get of me.

My family takes get-togethers very seriously/annoyingly. I personally don't understand why we have to all be here at once EVERY month. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to last even to three. It's 9:21, and I'm falling asleep.

(Like, to miss a get-together on THIS side of the family, it's literally the end of the world to them.)

 

[Judge]

If it were me I'd show up and stick it out for a few hours. Then leave prematurely with apologies.

Compromise.

 

[Kari Suttle]

Is there a way you can compromise? Stick around for a bit, then excuse yourself? I would hope that with kids around saying you have the flu would be good enough at least for the moms. I would let the babies' mother know you have the flu, babies have a lot weaker of an immune system and if they get sick it affects them worse. Hell, even if you don't have the flu you could just say you do - say whatever illness most fits in with your symptoms. Maybe even excuse yourself with a trip to the doctor if you have to.

 

[Grumpy Cat]

If they DEMAND that you be there then make sure your hands are washed, cough or sneeze into your arm, and maybe carry around those cleaning cloths. For me, if I am sick, I will tell every person "Hey, I'm sick. I don't know what it is, but if you choose to come around me I just want you to know that you could get something." That way, if they do get it, they can't blame me cause I tooted my horn! And just stay away from the kids as much as you can. There is a very nasty flu going around now and it's been on the news that the current flu shot can do nothing this year to ward against it (which doesn't surprise me a bit.)

 

[DogwoodTree]

Nope. "You need to be a part of the family."

<snip>

My family takes get-togethers very seriously/annoyingly. I personally don't understand why we have to all be here at once EVERY month. I'm pretty sure I'm not going to last even to three. It's 9:21, and I'm falling asleep.

(Like, to miss a get-together on THIS side of the family, it's literally the end of the world to them.)

I hear you. My family is much the same way. But honestly, unless you're a minor (not sure how old you are), you actually do have a choice. There might be unpleasant consequences, to say the least. But you can say no. I'm in much the same type of family--saying no causes extreme drama sometimes. But sometimes you just have to make it clear that you're an adult and you make your own decisions.

Hope you feel better soon.

 

[Warmheart]

Enact a tactical strike. Show up, smile, wave, greet, whatever-- then go to your room and put a sign up indicating that you & The Merry Microbes have gone off to sleep. Then, drinking plenty of fluids and taking whatever medicine you need beforehand, try to get some real actual sleep. Even if it isn't possible, a gentle snooze will offer a better chance to recover than pushing yourself to socialize would.

Please feel much better soon.

 

[Ste11aeres]

And also, 2 of the babies are my siblings. They will WANT me to hold them, etc.

How young are the babies? Because if any of them are under three months old, a fever is life threatening for them. Extra dangerous even for an older baby or toddler, actually, but especially so for a really young one.
I understand that it's not you that wants to hold them, but others who will want you to do so.

I don't quite understand the attitude of your family. Even selfishness would motivate most people to let you keep your distance, so that they don't get sick.

 

[AsheSkyler]

Flu trumps family, and most families agree, especially with small children involved. If they absolutely insist on you being the friendly neighborhood biohazard, do what the Japanese do and get one of those little face masks. If there are any kids coming. If not, be extra loving and friendly, and perhaps they'll think twice about forcing the sick to socialize in a week or two.

 

[wyverary]

we have babies here, AND I HAVE to go to my other grandmother's house next week sometime because I have some things I need to do there, and I just need to see them.

And also, 2 of the babies are my siblings. They will WANT me to hold them, etc.

This, for me, is the clincher. If they don't think that's reason enough for you to excuse yourself after making an appearance and saying a friendly "hello" to everyone, well... And if they don't, I wish I knew what to say to you.

 

[Effy]

Hi, hello. A few things:
1) Thank you all for the get well wishes! Theyre so nice c:
2) Again, it wasn't the flu, as I mentioned several times. It was more along the lines of sinuses and a cold. I actually still have it.
3) I ended up passing out in my room during the last hour or two... I couldn't take much more, as I was exhausted, and I'd went through three doses of off brands of OTC Benadryl without sleeping, thus meaning I was pushing myself through the drowse.
4) I think my younger brother also had a cold, so we sort of paired together nicely. No one on this side of the family has had the flu since that Saturday, including myself, so there's no need to worry... It wasn't the flu.

 

[AsheSkyler]

One's just a evil as the other in my book so long as mucus and sinus pressure is involved.

Hope it was a good visit. =)

 

[Effy]

One's just a evil as the other in my book so long as mucus and sinus pressure is involved.

Hope it was a good visit. =)

They still feel evil, but the flu is much worse in terms of medicine. In addition to year-round allergies (as I do cough, sneeze, etc. year-round due to environmental and food allergies), I had more intense allergies and sinus problems. They're very different things to me, but that may because there's a doctor in the family and a few of my friends are doctors, as well as because I spent 2013 going to my allergist for shots three times per week and learned the differences in variouses viruses that were going around. :s

 

[AsheSkyler]

They still feel evil, but the flu is much worse in terms of medicine. In addition to year-round allergies (as I do cough, sneeze, etc. year-round due to environmental and food allergies), I had more intense allergies and sinus problems. They're very different things to me, but that may because there's a doctor in the family and a few of my friends are doctors, as well as because I spent 2013 going to my allergist for shots three times per week and learned the differences in variouses viruses that were going around. :s

Aye, colds aren't as prone to turn into pneumonia like the flu is, among other things. A bunch of my family keeps sinus issues year-round for one reason or another, so I sympathize with all the sniffing and sneezing you deal with.

 

[Effy]

Aye, colds aren't as prone to turn into pneumonia like the flu is, among other things. A bunch of my family keeps sinus issues year-round for one reason or another, so I sympathize with all the sniffing and sneezing you deal with.

c:
But I guess the silverlining in that is that I don't know a life without sniffling, sneezing and coughing, thus I don't know what breathing "normally" is. :s It's the norm for me.
ALso, wow Firefox's typing is delayed and causing typos. (That I can't fix because DELAYED. Ugh.)

 

[AsheSkyler]

c:
But I guess the silverlining in that is that I don't know a life without sniffling, sneezing and coughing, thus I don't know what breathing "normally" is. :s It's the norm for me.
ALso, wow Firefox's typing is delayed and causing typos. (That I can't fix because DELAYED. Ugh.)

I remember one year I had ten colds. Destroyed my sense of smell for a few years. I completely forgot what it was like to smell things when my nose finally recovered. I miss it during the spring when the stink ants come out, and my grandmother loooooves to squish them.

Either it's time to update the browser, install Adblock Plus, or upgrade the computer. I fixed a LOT of my lag on various sites blocking flash and videos. My computer is seven years old, and while 3GB RAM isn't terribly shabby yet, I'm not sure if the processor can handle all that garbage.