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Feel Worthless

John Kirwin

John Kirwin

New Member
Hi all, my mother did research and told me she believes I have Aspergers. All of the problems I've had throughout my life all point to it. Recently it has caused serious problems in my life. My marriage is on the rocks because of many things I've done. My husband and I moved in with his freind and her kids and I was unable to live there. His friend's kids would throw horrible fits and cause lots of noise, banging on walls and screaming, making me nervous. I also had no privacy and my bedroom door would be opened and I'd constantly be disturbed. I want to be alone when I come home and do not want to socialize, which was taken with offense by others in the house. I became so worked up, over stimulated and uncomfortable that I had to move in with my mother about an hour away. My husband is a trucker and is home on weekends. I'm not welcome in that house anymore and my mother and husband do not get along, leaving me lonely and unable to stay with him when he comes home. I drive an hour and a half to work and back each day and got in an accident, causing financial problems for us. I make really stupid mistakes and lack "common sense" which causes me trouble in jobs. He is fed up and I feel horrible knowing this is all my fault. If I was able to live with other people we wouldn't be in this situation. I just really hate myself.
 
Sounds like you're well out of it to me. Picking up the pieces and reshaping your life is gonna take some time. Welcome to the site.
 
Why you & your husband must live together with another family? Financial problem? Living with another family is not common, not that comfortable & there would be some disagreement in some time.. Even people living in their parents-in-law house would want to actually stay in their own house (not the in-law's house).

So I think, even though Asperger traits makes you feel worthless since it interrupts with your social skills, I do think living with another family may also be the cause of the strain.

I feel worthless too. What can I say, it must be very painful to you.. but maybe try to not dwell on victim/negative mentality too much; try to be positive & help others. If it's too difficult for now, maybe try to read a self-help book that you like.

Don't blame too much on yourself for the accident; maybe it was bound to happen. Driving one hour half everyday is so tiring.

Try to not take everything as an attack to you, try to not get angry/negative about everything. Try to heal yourself while in the same time not pushing the negativity to people around you. This is what I'm going to do too. Sorry if it's not suitable for you.

At least you have people who love you. Your mom studied about Asperger and told you about it. It means she cares for you. Hope is not lost. Hopefully you can learn to love yourself again, and love people around you. Sorry for the long babbling.
 
Hi and welcome, I hope that you enjoy it here, it sounds like life has been tricky lately, and tough for you. I hope things are a bit better soon, high autistic traits or Aspergers is a brain difference, and many of us are sensitive to noise, and need downtime that is uninterrupted or just with our partners. No need to feel bad about that, and it doesn’t mean you're not a lovable, unique person. You're just a lovable, unique person who needs peace and quiet sometimes! There are many threads here you may find interesting.

:spiralshell::dolphin::spiralshell::spoutingwhale::spiralshell::whale::spiralshell::fish::spiralshell::palmtree:
 
Hi John

welcome to af.png
 
Living in the situation you describe (husband's friend's home) would drive me bonkers and I'm an NT. Who can stand screaming and yelling all the time and total lack of boundaries and privacy. So don't blame yourself for not being able to tolerate that. Wondering why your husband can't recognize that these are an issue.
 
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