Feeling bad this morning, something I did/didn't do

[Sherlock77]

Hard to find the right subject for this topic... It is about classic cars, but isn't

A guy I know fairly well recently acquired a 1970 Pontiac station wagon, and I've been really hoping to actually see it, that is kind of the point...

And, yes, I've been hoping to see it since it is quite a rare car

I saw him last night for the first time in awhile, first time since buying that station wagon, and got the real story about the car:

His dad has fairly bad cancer right now, and he only purchased the car for his dad... Apparently his dad has childhood memories about a station wagon of that era, and with his dad's diagnosis and possibly some health uncertainty, the two of them are going to take the station wagon on a two week road trip, heading off about a week from now, for possibly his dad's last road trip (I hope not)

Now I feel like crap for making some stupid assumptions, and just being eager to see the car without knowing how much meaning that transaction was for his family, too stuck in the physical world of "I must see/car spot", without knowing the full story

 

[Judge]

You worked the problem and came to the right conclusion. No need to beat yourself up any further.

Though admittedly it's something many of us do anyways.

 

[menander]

If you get a chance to see them again, just make something special for them to take. Maybe a little foodstuff of some sort or anything and when you give it to them let them know you understand the gravity of the trip. You don't even have to say it. Just a special gift and a hand on the shoulder or kind word. People remember the kind things FAR longer than the ones that are iffy because people tend not to care. Show you care in some way, any way, and they will remember that . You are very kind to care.

 

[Rectify]

Aww @Sherlock77 it really sounds as though you didn't make such a big gaff at all. Anyone could have done that and I can tell from your post that you've got care and empathy. I hope it's not their last trip too. What a shame hey, but the story is really sweet, too.

 

[Sherlock77]

I just think I'm trying to learn from this, among other things there is often (usually is) a lot more to any story then I realize, that's all

I'm quite certain he has no idea what was going through my head, and I'm not sure about what stage of cancer his dad has, but he seemed a little uncertain when I talked to him

 

[Aspychata]

You could take some beautiful shots that the son would so appreciate and the dad would enjoy it too just before they leave on their trip perhaps.

Knew 2 people who were losing their elderly cats and l took videos of one and his cat and pictures for the lady and her cats. I blew up a cat picture and framed it. It's these small things that help keep the memories alive for us. We become so wrapped up in grief that we need those around us to do what maybe hard for us to do.

 

[Gracey]

You're not a mind reader.
You weren't to know of your friends plans or his fathers condition.

Your enthusiasm for a rare classic is perfectly valid.

Your friends first job is to spend quality time with his father using the car. He's going to do that before considering anything else.

After which, he'll still have the car.

Feeling guilty over a making a mistake is usual.
Chances are you wouldn't have made the same error if you'd known all of the facts.
But you didn't.

It is what it is.

 

[SDRSpark]

Hard to find the right subject for this topic... It is about classic cars, but isn't

A guy I know fairly well recently acquired a 1970 Pontiac station wagon, and I've been really hoping to actually see it, that is kind of the point...

And, yes, I've been hoping to see it since it is quite a rare car

I saw him last night for the first time in awhile, first time since buying that station wagon, and got the real story about the car:

His dad has fairly bad cancer right now, and he only purchased the car for his dad... Apparently his dad has childhood memories about a station wagon of that era, and with his dad's diagnosis and possibly some health uncertainty, the two of them are going to take the station wagon on a two week road trip, heading off about a week from now, for possibly his dad's last road trip (I hope not)

Now I feel like crap for making some stupid assumptions, and just being eager to see the car without knowing how much meaning that transaction was for his family, too stuck in the physical world of "I must see/car spot", without knowing the full story

I see absolutely no problem with your actions. Car people often have meaningful stories behind their cars, and love to share them and talk about them. "Oh wow you have a (classic car)?! I can't wait to see it!" is also totally normal.

The fact that the story behind the car just happened to be something tragic (which you wouldn't have known and even if you did, I don't think your response was out of turn) doesn't change the situation all that much.

 

[Mary Terry]

You might enjoy watching "Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee" on Netflix. Every episode features classic old cars.

A friend of mine drove up to our house yesterday in her classic, bright yellow, 1968 or '69, mint condition VW convertible that she has owned for over 40 years. She said possession of the car was the major stumbling block to a property settlement agreement when she and her husband divorced last year. LOL.

 

[Sherlock77]

An update...

I did see the 1970 Pontiac Safari station wagon tonight, my friend came to cruise night with it, along with his dad who has the cancer who looked quite weak... In a few days they will be heading out for a 10 day road trip, Calgary to Vancouver Island and back (he thinks about 5,000 kilometres in total), in the 1970 Pontiac in this photo, cringe if you want to

I'm assured all the mechanical bits have been gone over in preparation... And I hope they have a great trip with many memories... I did just message him this photo...

 

[Rectify]

@Sherlock77 how lovely. I hope they have a wonderful trip. And what a car!