Feeling drained

[Starflowerpower87]

I'm not sure if anyone will want to read all of this. I just had to blow off some steam.

I woke up this morning with really bad vertigo. I was at a BBQ the other day without any bug spray. I hope I don't have Lyme disease. I'm feeling very tired right now despite sleeping good. Also I heard voices agian the other night that kept me up. Didn't sleep good for five days straight. My psychiatrist didn't want to do a med adjustment because one was done not so long ago, and he said it's too soon to make any changes. It's getting harder for me to shower and do chores again. I'm so burnt out. I used to go to a soup kitchen to eat and save money, but I hate going there so I haven't been able to save the money. And man do I ever hate cooking. Cleaning too. And Grocery shopping. Really there are a lot of things I hate and I don't know why I'm like this. I still fantasize of running away by hitchhiking to the city. Don't know what I'd do when I get there. I'd be homeless. But I fantasize about running away and being wild and free. I have this vision that someone would come to my rescue and let me stay with them. But I don't know if the world works like that.

I have a worker who is supposed to help me clean. But we haven't been doing that. Don't know why, she helps her other members clean a lot. But I don't like how other people clean I'd rather do it myself if I could. But these days I feel not very capable. Maybe when the heat wave is over I'll talk to my worker and make her help me clean.

Yeah I don't know why I'm like this. I hate things most people have no problem with and I have fantasies about running away all the time. Like really. I hate my apartment and its responsibilities. I want to be free. I haven't felt the same after my last episode of hearing voices. I was doing art but then that happened and I don't feel like it anymore. All I want to do is run away.

I know I'll never do it though. It's just a fantasy. It's just I don't know why I'm having it.

 

[Aspychata]

Fantasy is just a short reprieve, but taking care of your business is important. Just clean a little bit every day. Your meds may be making you very tired. Caffeine may help. Stick to your guns and tell your psychiatrist, you just want a lower dose, so that you don't feel so lethargic. Feeling tired, may intensify your feelings of depression, so that may be the reason you feel so discombobulated.

 

[Forest Cat]

Years ago during a difficult time I wanted to sell most of my belongings and assets, put the cash in a backpack and just walk away from everything. And I mean literally walk away, just picking a direction and walk and walk and walk. Not going anywhere, just walking away. Like Forest Gump, except he ran away. I know it sounds silly, people don't do that, but it was an urge or a weird idea, I just really wanted to get away from everything.

So I can understand the desire to run away. I didn't do it and I think that was smart. Something bad or weird would probably have happened to me. Try to hang in there, things might just get better with a little time.

 

[Aspychata]

Just take little steps to get things moving better for you. Ask the psychiatrist, notify you are too groggy. Your caregiver may be stretched thin, and doing their best to help you. Do one little chore a day, these little steps outlined will help you feel a little more in control. You got this.

 

[reilepa8]

I'm not sure if anyone will want to read all of this. I just had to blow off some steam.

I woke up this morning with really bad vertigo. I was at a BBQ the other day without any bug spray. I hope I don't have Lyme disease. I'm feeling very tired right now despite sleeping good. Also I heard voices agian the other night that kept me up. Didn't sleep good for five days straight. My psychiatrist didn't want to do a med adjustment because one was done not so long ago, and he said it's too soon to make any changes. It's getting harder for me to shower and do chores again. I'm so burnt out. I used to go to a soup kitchen to eat and save money, but I hate going there so I haven't been able to save the money. And man do I ever hate cooking. Cleaning too. And Grocery shopping. Really there are a lot of things I hate and I don't know why I'm like this. I still fantasize of running away by hitchhiking to the city. Don't know what I'd do when I get there. I'd be homeless. But I fantasize about running away and being wild and free. I have this vision that someone would come to my rescue and let me stay with them. But I don't know if the world works like that.

I have a worker who is supposed to help me clean. But we haven't been doing that. Don't know why, she helps her other members clean a lot. But I don't like how other people clean I'd rather do it myself if I could. But these days I feel not very capable. Maybe when the heat wave is over I'll talk to my worker and make her help me clean.

Yeah I don't know why I'm like this. I hate things most people have no problem with and I have fantasies about running away all the time. Like really. I hate my apartment and its responsibilities. I want to be free. I haven't felt the same after my last episode of hearing voices. I was doing art but then that happened and I don't feel like it anymore. All I want to do is run away.

I know I'll never do it though. It's just a fantasy. It's just I don't know why I'm having it.

Hello Starflower,
Sorry to hear that you have vertigo. You are likely in what is called a meltdown. Some can be worse than others. I’ve had them before. Try to allow yourself more downtime when you can to recharge. Once you have rested your sensory systems properly, you will feel more energy. Good luck

 

[Aspychata]

https://newsnetwork.mayoclinic.org/...nd-a-number-of-disorders-can-trigger-vertigo/
This was interesting to read, maybe this will help you understand better. Even medications can cause vertigo which was surprising.

 

[Aspychata]

I hope this can give you relief. In the comments section, some said it cured them, few others said it made them more dizzy for vertigo.

 

[WhitewaterWoman]

I’m sorry you are feeling so lousy. I sympathize with not wanting to clean or cook or do laundry or go shopping. I don’t like to do those things either.

The trouble with running away is that you still have to clean, shop, and cook. Wherever you go, you have to clean, shop and cook. Unless you have scads of money and can hire someone to do these things for you.

I think I have suggested this in the past - your support worker should be more proactive in helping you with these tasks. Your support worker should be supporting you by assisting with and training independent living skills. Let me know if you want help in how to go about this.