Feeling like I want to waste the rest of my life sleeping right through it.

[Metalhead]

Maybe it is just this time of year. Maybe it is because the cravings for booze are incredibly strong right now. Maybe it is because my entire family is willing to throw me under the bus to protect the sleazier family members and Christmas reminds me that is the case. I want to fall asleep and not wake up for a very long while, since dreams are the only time I feel content in my life these days.

 

[Aspychata]

Like wake up after new year perhaps? Not surprising, most depression occurs around the holidays, because many of us don't have happy memories and the holidays only compounds this and basically rubs our face in it, and this can lead to doubts in general, please pass the eggnog as l contemplate my incredibly dysfunctional family.

 

[Metalhead]

I want to fall asleep and never wake up again at this point. That is how I am feeling.

 

[Aspychata]

I made a little song revision to Winter Wonderland in 2021

Snowballs are ringing
And my brain is fleeing

Eggnog is deleting
My tension and seething

What a beautiful nite for a good family fight
In this winter wonderland

Try not to mock my scrawny Xmas tree
The angel resting atop is gender free

While credit card bills leaving me popping pills
In my winter wonderland

Fried a turkey for that dinner party
Burnt my house down, not sorry

My winter wonderland
Needs a script of klonipin
Now the healing can began

 

[Au Naturel]

I want to fall asleep and never wake up again at this point. That is how I am feeling.

Unfortunately not a choice. I enjoy sleeping and the dreams it brings. If I could sleep instead of engaging in things that bring negative value to my life, I would.

 

[Kalinychta]

Are you still thinking about cutting off all contact with your family? I don’t think you’re going to feel any kind of freedom or relief until you do.

 

[MildredHubble]

I've slept the entire day. Partially because I need to, partially because sleeping is preferable to being awake for a while host of reasons.

I do also feel at times I'd rather sleep and never wake up. It's a feeling I understand very well.

We are all here for you though @Metalhead and sharing these feelings is constructive and better than keeping them to yourself.

I know my sleep is so bad a lot of the time, I've got years upon years of sleep debt. I suspect the same may be true for you. So if you sleep a bit extra at times, it may just be that getting a little extra shut eye ultimately does you some good? If you feel the urge to nap, perhaps set an alarm and get yourself a couple of extra hours?

Sleep induces a chemical state in your brain that I've heard described as a "power wash" for your neurones. This allows your brain to recharge its batteries and it helps promote a feeling of calm when you wake. The longer we go without this process, the more frazzled and exhausted we feel.

I've woken up feeling better than I did before this evening. And sure I've "lost a day" but I have a feeling tomorrow will be a better day for me now that I've caught up on some rest.

I realise that you have commitments, such as work that oversleeping might impact on so you need to pick your moments. But your time is your time and if you choose to sleep a bit more in that time that's for you to decide and nobody else's business.

Perhaps when you get home from work, take an hour's power nap, then you may feel refreshed and able to really unwind and enjoy the rest of your evening before you need to get a full night's rest.

For myself there's nothing worse than being in a half asleep/exhausted state when trying to enjoy something sometimes a nap or just a lay down and bit of a snooze can really perk me up, then I can be more "present" in the moment which is good for my mood.

Anyway just my thoughts

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Maybe it is just this time of year. Maybe it is because the cravings for booze are incredibly strong right now. Maybe it is because my entire family is willing to throw me under the bus to protect the sleazier family members and Christmas reminds me that is the case. I want to fall asleep and not wake up for a very long while, since dreams are the only time I feel content in my life these days.

Same...because I miss dreams
And you know I'm so tired some sleep may be great, being awake is too noisy.
Maybe you should spend Christmas reflecting on how Jesus Christ saves you from your negative thoughts and say prayers to God for Christmas miracles for the world and yourself.
Merry Christmas it can be a hard time as well as good

 

[lovely_darlingprettybaby]

Unfortunately not a choice. I enjoy sleeping and the dreams it brings. If I could sleep instead of engaging in things that bring negative value to my life, I would.

Well this is great thinking and in my own life it seems harder and harder to see how things are good.
And I think we need some giant hand in the sky to lift us up and save us all.
But hopefully it happens because we have come to far to just throw in the towel
Might as well try to recharge a bit then have a big party once it is over even if life is very problematic these days at times.

 

[Shamar]

Maybe it is just this time of year. Maybe it is because the cravings for booze are incredibly strong right now. Maybe it is because my entire family is willing to throw me under the bus to protect the sleazier family members and Christmas reminds me that is the case. I want to fall asleep and not wake up for a very long while, since dreams are the only time I feel content in my life these days.

Metalhead, you are stronger than that. You beat depression. You beat alcohol. You beat suicide. Your family members are bullies, and bullies prey on the weak and those that let them. You have overcome so much and have become stronger than them, so don't let them bully you. You are an independent person. You don't need them, but they need you to validate themselves and feel superior.

You know what to do, because you have talked about it before. Believe me, I know what you are going through. These two months are agony, and the desire to end it all or go into oblivion can be overwhelming at times. But I will take it on one day at a time, and get through it. So can you. We are all here for you, and can be the family you wish you had, just as all here are like family to me.

 

[Fino]

It's understandable to feel that way.

 

[Wolfnox]

Rather than focus on the negative aspects. What say celebrate Christmas in your on separate way. Pretty sure there are a few gaming tournaments going to spring up and food always helps.