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Feeling lonely lately

Hedgehog Instigator

Hedgehog Instigator

Chomp chomp chomp!
I'm a very extraverted aspie and I'm having trouble feeling lonely. Even with my friends and support I still feel terribly alone in the world. I get the feeling in so weird and different. I feel like no one will really truly be able to be a part of community I yearn for. How do other aspies combat and our relate to this?
 
I'm introverted and isolated as can be and still get very lonely at times. It's so frustrating. :confused:

Forever feeling like I'm looking inside from the outside and can never get through the door. For me it never changes.
 
I'm a pretty much 30/70 mix of extrovert and introvert. Meaning I enjoy my own company, but also enjoy being around people when I am in the right head space. When I was younger, it really bothered me to be excluded from things, or to feel as if even if I were in the middle of a social event that other people were experiencing more from it than I was. I have painful memories of people planning things together and deliberately excluding me from them. Now, because of health issues I am not as bothered by not being social because I can never keep up with it but I still long for meaningful connections with others.
 
I am an introvert for sure but have learned how to act extroverted when it suits me. I have rarely had friends but within the past 10 years I have made quite a few. The past two years I have had to move on from most of them as it seemed like I was the only one growing up and/or moving forward.

I understand what it feels like to be alone, unseen, unheard even when sitting next to a friend or in a group. I've had many friends despite my crippling introversion but I couldn't truly be connected with them as one of them. I am always that faceless, colorless guy who everyone likes to have around but is forgotten as soon as I leave the room.

Honestly, the only people who have made an impacting connection with me or vise versa were mostly aspies. I've had a few girlfriends too but the only one who ever connected with me was the one that had aspergers.

That's why I'm here now, it's lonely out here in the middle of nowhere with no one to talk to. I don't want to talk to just anybody. I like aspies better than most other people so I come to places like this. I need friends who connect with me deeper than ankle high water.
 
I'm married but I still feel lonely and I struggle with feeling different and strange from other people,I don't have friends and it's hard to relate to a lot of people,but I try to get by day by day even if I feel like I don't belong.
 
Adora said:
I'm married but I still feel lonely and I struggle with feeling different and strange from other people,I don't have friends and it's hard to relate to a lot of people,but I try to get by day by day even if I feel like I don't belong.
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Don't worry Adora. Many people feel that way. The important thing is that you feel safe with your partner. It's not a popular line but friends come and go and you don't need them to be happy. My parents have been happily married since high school and they never really had many friends and were always kinda' shut in. But they focused on their relationship and their family and have been very happy without having friends for so long. We enjoy our family game nights and home cooked dinners. Mom and I are best buddies and Dad and I can do anything when we put our heads together. We never needed anyone else.

If you aren't getting much from the world, that's fine. Focus on the happiness you can have with what (who) you have now. :)
 
I'm lonely too, not because I'm alone but because people either ignore me or only want to make pointless small talk when I'm around them. I'm also in a dilemma because I can't keep friends even if I try, but I've lost so many friends that I'm not sure I want to try for more friendships at all. Right now I'm not actively pursuing any friendships - but I'll go along with anyone who tries to form a real one with me. And so far no one has. They just want small talk. I really like some of my coworkers, but we hardly ever get a chance to talk because there are so many customers and also because I do more shop-back than bagging (I work at a grocery store) anyway.
How I combat it? Internet, music, special interests. Chocolate too. ;) These are keeping me alive.
 
I always feel alone. Even if my family still cares for me. Regardless of how much love I receive from them, they still don't know how I really feel. Right now I'm just working hard taking care of my responsibilities. I don't get out unless I am called to do so. I don't socialize with people I'm not familiar with very much. I consider myself one of a kind, all alone in a world where I don't belong because I'm not like them.
 
The worst is when I get sad and lonely and realize that it's mostly because there's a lull in the financial turmoil of my life.

Otherwise I'm usually too overwhelmed with financial concerns to be lonely.

This is no way to live. :(
 
I'm a very introverted and shy person. I enjoy being by myself but I do get very lonely at times, which is why I joined this forum. Outside of some online friends, I've never had any real local friends before. Most of my family does not notice me either. I try to deal with it by going into my fantasy land, by playing a lot of video games, or by reading a good book. I think if I had not looked for friends online I would be feeling very depressed by now.
 
ThatSkyWing said:
I'm a very introverted and shy person. I enjoy being by myself but I do get very lonely at times, which is why I joined this forum. Outside of some online friends, I've never had any real local friends before. Most of my family does not notice me either. I try to deal with it by going into my fantasy land, by playing a lot of video games, or by reading a good book. I think if I had not looked for friends online I would be feeling very depressed by now.
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That's why I came here too,real life friendships have been difficult for me and even when I'm with my my husband and we visit one of his friends I feel awkward and usually his friends have To say hi to me or start the conversation but I find it easier here to open up more and talk and I hope that this place has helped you too.
 
ChurchTheArtist said:
Don't worry Adora. Many people feel that way. The important thing is that you feel safe with your partner. It's not a popular line but friends come and go and you don't need them to be happy. My parents have been happily married since high school and they never really had many friends and were always kinda' shut in. But they focused on their relationship and their family and have been very happy without having friends for so long. We enjoy our family game nights and home cooked dinners. Mom and I are best buddies and Dad and I can do anything when we put our heads together. We never needed anyone else.

If you aren't getting much from the world, that's fine. Focus on the happiness you can have with what (who) you have now. :)
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Thank you churchtheartist it's good to know that I'm not the only one who struggle with this and what you have said has made me feel better.
 
Live been lonely for many years. I don't connect well with family and I don't have any local friends. When I work out enough savings, I going to relocate back to Ontario which is a part of Canada I enjoy more than where I'm living at now.
 
Hedgehog Instigator said:
I'm a very extraverted aspie and I'm having trouble feeling lonely. Even with my friends and support I still feel terribly alone in the world. I get the feeling in so weird and different. I feel like no one will really truly be able to be a part of community I yearn for. How do other aspies combat and our relate to this?
Click to expand...
I get lonely too. I keep myself busy with my interests. I am making moon water at the moment. You leave a glass container of water in the moonlight and it charges it. (You probably know about that lol ) its good to drink or for blessing things with (its kind of like holy water).
 
Tanya said:
I get lonely too. I keep myself busy with my interests. I am making moon water at the moment. You leave a glass container of water in the moonlight and it charges it. (You probably know about that lol ) its good to drink or for blessing things with (its kind of like holy water).
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I just did moon ceremony yesterday, with some people who invited me for turkey day. It was really simple but still powerful.
 
You mean Wicca I suppose . I used to practise Wicca. Now I'm more multifaith.I'm interested in angels too and I'm starting to look out for signs of them in everyday life.
 
Tanya said:
You mean Wicca I suppose . I used to practise Wicca. Now I'm more multifaith.I'm interested in angels too and I'm starting to look out for signs of them in everyday life.
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well not necessarily Wicca. I do rituals with an Ojibwe medicine woman, and my mom was brought up in a new age church, I practice some Santeria intermixed with Reclaiming, I also attend Unitarian Church and have no qualms in discussing the bible. I am primarily a totemist, but I have had the spiritual presences of Aido Wedo, Qadashu, Jesus, Ghosts, My Guardian Angel, and the fey. I also follow the Tao and am very interested in Carl Jung as well as Joseph Campbell.
 
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