Fight to win the battle with Aspergers

[The Penguin]

I'm interested hearing form those had to fight things for your life and how you won the battle for having Aspergers? Example, something you really want in your life that you had many road blocks but you never gave up and was able to get what you wanted.

 

[Kari Suttle]

Are you asking for our stories about how we overcame stuff and having aspergers made it less difficult to overcome? That's a hard one. I would have to say my part time job as a cashier is the best example i can come up with. AS makes it a really difficult job, but at the same time it motivated me to learn how to do my job as best i can. I can learn the register just fine, but it was talking with customers that was and to a point still is the hardest part of my job. I don't know how to socialize so i had to learn how to talk with customers. I'm sound hypersensitive with no filter for background noise, and i used this to my advantage. I would focus on what other cashiers were saying to their customers and copy that with mine when i felt up to talking to them (and wasn't shutting down, again). Now i can talk with customers perfectly fine (provided i'm not shutting down), even if the talking is very scripted. But i think even NTs script their small talk with customer service people so i dont think its a bad thing. I'm always complimented for being patient. I've been complimented on being friendly once.

 

[Daniel]

I'll qualify this by stating that I don't consider Asperger's to be a separate part of me that had to be fought against, nor does it define me... if that makes any sense at all (or complete sense, lol). But I think I get what you're asking!

The career and financial independence I've managed to build is something I'm proud of that did not come easy. I was all about school and my interests growing up, and then I discovered that none of that effort really meant anything as far as getting a job was concerned. Prior to graduating university with a B.A., the only work I had done was manual industrial labour and being a Tutorial Assistant. And l was clueless about job applications and interviews.

I managed to get a part-time job in retail, at a camera/photo printing chain store, and another part-time gig creating and editing web content (both paid just over minimum wage). I went back to school for a two-year Business program (equivalent of an American Associates' Degree). After I finished that program, I did office temp work, then I managed to get a freelance gig building a website.

(I had a simliar experience to Kari in working retail--it made me a lot more comfortable around people. I had to learn by copying others, and make myself feel good about doing suggestive upselling. My manager and co-workers were great coaches.)

Then came unemployment again, and I was having a long stretch where I got nowhere with my job search until I received some great advice from friends about doing interviews, creating resumes, portfolios and cover letters, and setting up a LinkedIn profile. I have been employed continuously since then, each job better than the last.

If there was a "fight" against myself, that's where it was won--realizing that what I was doing wasn't working, and that if I wanted to see different results, I would have to learn some soft skills. There are right ways and wrong ways to do job interviews, and I had to learn how to give concise responses, how to project confidence, and how to sense what an employer was looking to see. My last four interviews have led to job offers.

When I finished university, I really wanted to be financially secure and independent. It took about ten years to get there!

Thanks for asking, Penguin. It feels good to be proud of what I've accomplished. Looking back also makes me feel grateful for the people who gave me chances and help along the way. I wish you the best of luck in your professional and personal challenges.

 

[The Penguin]

I'll qualify this by stating that I don't consider Asperger's to be a separate part of me that had to be fought against, nor does it define me... if that makes any sense at all (or complete sense, lol). But I think I get what you're asking!

The career and financial independence I've managed to build is something I'm proud of that did not come easy. I was all about school and my interests growing up, and then I discovered that none of that effort really meant anything as far as getting a job was concerned. Prior to graduating university with a B.A., the only work I had done was manual industrial labour and being a Tutorial Assistant. And l was clueless about job applications and interviews.

I managed to get a part-time job in retail, at a camera/photo printing chain store, and another part-time gig creating and editing web content (both paid just over minimum wage). I went back to school for a two-year Business program (equivalent of an American Associates' Degree). After I finished that program, I did office temp work, then I managed to get a freelance gig building a website.

(I had a simliar experience to Kari in working retail--it made me a lot more comfortable around people. I had to learn by copying others, and make myself feel good about doing suggestive upselling. My manager and co-workers were great coaches.)

Then came unemployment again, and I was having a long stretch where I got nowhere with my job search until I received some great advice from friends about doing interviews, creating resumes, portfolios and cover letters, and setting up a LinkedIn profile. I have been employed continuously since then, each job better than the last.

If there was a "fight" against myself, that's where it was won--realizing that what I was doing wasn't working, and that if I wanted to see different results, I would have to learn some soft skills. There are right ways and wrong ways to do job interviews, and I had to learn how to give concise responses, how to project confidence, and how to sense what an employer was looking to see. My last four interviews have led to job offers.

When I finished university, I really wanted to be financially secure and independent. It took about ten years to get there!

Thanks for asking, Penguin. It feels good to be proud of what I've accomplished. Looking back also makes me feel grateful for the people who gave me chances and help along the way. I wish you the best of luck in your professional and personal challenges.

No problem. Your life is somewhat related to me. I took computer programming in college and had trouble getting work in my trade. I first started at a Telcom company then did general labour most of my life. I did do a business program when I was in Ontario. When the business program ended, my business was not doing well so I had to give up everything in my life meaning I needed to give up my apartment and live with family. I end up moving with my father in Nova Scotia. I done some more general labour work and after found my first full time job in my trade. It only lasted for 2.5 years. I been on unemployment and then back to doing labour work since I'm having trouble finding work in my trade. There might be some good news. It might be possible later on in the week I could be accepted in another business program. I do have people support my idea should I get accepted. Wish me good luck. This might be and hopefully the last week I need to do labour work for life!

 

[Daniel]

No problem. Your life is somewhat related to me. I took computer programming in college and had trouble getting work in my trade. I first started at a Telcom company then did general labour most of my life. I did do a business program when I was in Ontario. When the business program ended, my business was not doing well so I had to give up everything in my life meaning I needed to give up my apartment and live with family. I end up moving with my father in Nova Scotia. I done some more general labour work and after found my first full time job in my trade. It only lasted for 2.5 years. I been on unemployment and then back to doing labour work since I'm having trouble finding work in my trade. There might be some good news. It might be possible later on in the week I could be accepted in another business program. I do have people support my idea should I get accepted. Wish me good luck. This might be and hopefully the last week I need to do labour work for life!

That's great to hear! I wish you the best of luck. I'll be praying for you!

 

[Etzelaire]

The first challenge I had was to accept that I had to take a job even though it wasn't the one I was looking for. I really has trouble during school because I didn't like the stuff they were teaching me and after that the jobs that I apply to don't seem much notorious. But at least They grant me the money I need to take further formation, namely University.

 

[Judge]

Aspergers itself isn't a battle to be won or lost. It's just something you need to be aware of when interacting with other humans.

Perhaps one's best asset is their own self-awareness of autism. At that point I believe it's possible to use it as if it were an asset as opposed to seeing it only as a liability.

 

[The Penguin]

Aspergers itself isn't a battle to be won or lost. It's just something you need to be aware of when interacting with other humans.

Perhaps one's best asset is their own self-awareness of autism. At that point I believe it's possible to use it as if it were an asset as opposed to seeing it only as a liability.

Maybe I was not good with the wording but writing is not my expertise. But I was hoping people to give similar response that wrote before you..

 

[Judge]

Maybe I was not good with the wording but writing is not my expertise. But I was hoping people to give similar response that wrote before you..

Perhaps it's worth noting that not all of us were aware of our neurology at an early age. Some of us aren't likely to have an extensive portfolio of success stories in navigating our autism. But then that's my point- to navigate it rather than only fight it.

In hindsight probably the most significant asset I have relative to my autism is being self-employed. Not necessarily an option for everyone, but if you can, it's worth considering. I suppose I was lucky in that I made this decision years before I discovered I had ASD.

 

[Kari Suttle]

Perhaps one's best asset is their own self-awareness of autism.

I agree. I think once i realized - along with my family - that i probably have it, everything became so much clearer. It wasn't that i just wasn't trying hard enough, there was a clear reason for a lot of things all of a sudden. It validated why some things have just always been hard for me. It became not something i have to fight head on and eliminate, as i'd always thought, but something to learn to deal with, to work around. I don't do well socially, with strangers especially, but being aware of the biological reason for this helped me to tackle it better. I can interact with customers just fine provided i have a basic script for the conversation. It also helped me deal with sensory overload at work better - once i realized what the problem was, i used that information and learned how to get around it. I use my ability to focus intently on something at the exclusion of all else to my advantage, and focus purely on the customer in front of me. Then only when its so busy i can't focus do i get overloaded.

 

[The Penguin]

Perhaps it's worth noting that not all of us were aware of our neurology at an early age. Some of us aren't likely to have an extensive portfolio of success stories in navigating our autism. But then that's my point- to navigate it rather than only fight it.

In hindsight probably the most significant asset I have relative to my autism is being self-employed. Not necessarily an option for everyone, but if you can, it's worth considering. I suppose I was lucky in that I made this decision years before I discovered I had ASD.

Yes I get that but I specifically said for those who struggle in life but was able to be successful. If you didn't fit in that category I have no idea why you wrote here?

 

[Judge]

Yes I get that but I specifically said for those who struggle in life but was able to be successful. If you didn't fit in that category I have no idea why you wrote here?

Most of my life (over 50+ years) has been a struggle socially speaking. However self-awareness has changed the equation. It's not a fight- just a different way of looking at things. That's the point.

As for what constitutes being "successful", that's a rather relative term. Peace of mind, stability of employment, money in the bank....too many variables. I've learned to live day by day...live life in the moment rather than any "five-year plan".

One doesn't have to exclusively look at their lives as a "win or lose" proposition.

 

[the-commander]

I'm interested hearing form those had to fight things for your life and how you won the battle for having Aspergers? Example, something you really want in your life that you had many road blocks but you never gave up and was able to get what you wanted.

most of the issues ive had that i had to "fight" agenst where when i was a small child. honestly its kinda just part of me.

 

[radasp]

Living successfully as "Asperger" is knowing what suits your personality and what doesn't, just like everyone else on the planet. Each person must confront what he or she wants versus financial survival. There are millions of people who hate their jobs, but must show up everyday regardless. What's different about Asperger people is that we have varying degrees of tolerance for social interaction and specifically, how the social pyramid works: Bosses, henchman, peasants; who can be rude to whom; who tells everyone else what to do; how individuals are awarded with attention and others are bullied. Aspergers typically LOATHE unequal treatment, whether it's aimed at us or other people. It's simply WRONG in our world view of equality, honesty and justice. This view automatically places us at the social bottom or ejected entirely from the social scheme.

It is a big problem unless one can find a way to just "shut up" (I never could) and pull an oar like the other slaves. LOL Or if you have sociopathic tendencies, you might end up as The Boss!

Before I could get what I really wanted, I had to accept that leaving civilization behind and living simply (poor) in a beautiful landscape with few people WAS WHAT SUITED ME, regardless of what I was SUPOOSED to want - money, career, things.

 

[the-commander]

Living successfully as "Asperger" is knowing what suits your personality and what doesn't, just like everyone else on the planet. Each person must confront what he or she wants versus financial survival. There are millions of people who hate their jobs, but must show up everyday regardless. What's different about Asperger people is that we have varying degrees of tolerance for social interaction and specifically, how the social pyramid works: Bosses, henchman, peasants; who can be rude to whom; who tells everyone else what to do; how individuals are awarded with attention and others are bullied. Aspergers typically LOATHE unequal treatment, whether it's aimed at us or other people. It's simply WRONG in our world view of equality, honesty and justice. This view automatically places us at the social bottom or ejected entirely from the social scheme.

It is a big problem unless one can find a way to just "shut up" (I never could) and pull an oar like the other slaves. LOL Or if you have sociopathic tendencies, you might end up as The Boss!

Before I could get what I really wanted, I had to accept that leaving civilization behind and living simply (poor) in a beautiful landscape with few people WAS WHAT SUITED ME, regardless of what I was SUPOOSED to want - money, career, things.

i want a carrer. i want a girlfriend and i want to publish my work.

 

[radasp]

It's good that you know what you want. Do you have a specific career in mind? That sounds like the place to get started.

 

[icesyckel]

I wanted a career, so I went to school, and I tried really hard until I got a degree and a license, etc., etc. It was all just hard work made atypically uncomfortable by me being different from other students and not knowing why. I worked hard to develop the requisite social skills.

There wasn't/isn't really a secret. If you want something, like I wanted something, then you have to decide if you want it enough to put in the work, suffer the stress (stress many NT's chasing the same goals don't have to cope with), and live/function in a world where you're first instincts and responses are almost always different from those of others. You either do, or you don't.

 

[The Penguin]

It's good that you know what you want. Do you have a specific career in mind? That sounds like the place to get started.

Software development. I just meet with the business center today and they willing to accept me in their business program. I finished the paper work and waiting for the government to make the final approval.

 

[the-commander]

Yes I get that but I specifically said for those who struggle in life but was able to be successful. If you didn't fit in that category I have no idea why you wrote here?

i dont think thats a life path where aspergers is going to be much of a strugle, from what i hear apple literally searches for people like us. not that i could ever do it (i dont know **** about programing, im a writter/ artist, i think id sooner kill myself then work for apple, no offense, also i barley know how to get past basic copyright protection and i cant even get my itunes acount to work, much less program a ****ing computer), but if you can you will and if you will its probably one of the few carrers where telling them your as will work to your advantege.

 

[The Penguin]

i dont think thats a life path where aspergers is going to be much of a strugle, from what i hear apple literally searches for people like us. not that i could ever do it (i dont know **** about programing, im a writter/ artist, i think id sooner kill myself then work for apple, no offense, also i barley know how to get past basic copyright protection and i cant even get my itunes acount to work, much less program a ****ing computer), but if you can you will and if you will its probably one of the few carrers where telling them your as will work to your advantege.

Honestly I am an anti Apple person. You know they like to sue lots of companies for others steal their ideas but most of the time, Apple steals someone else's idea so they lose most lawsuits. I also love Europe forced Apple to support mini USB. A government have real balls to go after Apple.