Figuratively speaking vs literal thinking

[Nisk]

I find nothing more frustrating and confusing then when people decide to use a "figure of speech". As a kid my parents had to stop telling me to "stop talking" because I would literally stop talking until someone told to speak again. As a teenager I got in a lot of trouble when people said "they could kick my ass" and I refused to let them try. As an adult I've frustrated my wife numerous times when she's said "could this line be any slower" and I explain to her all the ways it could.

Now I'm not stupid. I do understand when people are using a figure of speech and I'll even reply appropriately most the time. It's those times when I'm hungry, angry, tired, frustrated or in anyway out of sorts that my brain hears things and words come out of my mouth without me thinking about them first. In my happy Aspieland everyone would say "figurativley speaking" after using a figure of speech. If anyone has seen Archer my wife thinks that it's hilarious they have to always explain figurativley and literally because she does the same with me.

Anyone have any experience good or bad with this little problem?

 

[Beverly]

I find my literal thinking amusing with figures of speech and colloquialisms. I know the intended meanings and, the correct reply but, the mental images my mind creates are often hilarious. Rhetorical questions are a bit challenging for me though. I'm never quite sure if the speaker actually wants an answer or not.

"Eat like a bird" - and I see the person pecking at their plate, scattering food everywhere, no hands, kind of a really messy pie eating contest thing but, with whatever food is on the plate.

"Snug as a bug in a rug" - person trapped in a rolled up carpet - a red and gold, large Persian rug to be exact.

Some things are annoying and, though I know I'm not supposed to take them literally, I do sometimes just to make a point. That generally angers whomever said it but, they get the point that I didn't like what they said, and they really didn't want to tell me to do that. The worst I ever did, I had a tour manager tell me to "Go to hell." we were in Chicago- I took the rental car we had for going to and from the hotel and drove, non stop to Hell, Michigan then, called the tour manager and informed him that if I was gong to make the concert that night, I would need a private jet - I got the jet. Rather expensive lesson in speaking to me with respect. LOL

 

[Suzanne]

Oh it was my husband who first alerted me to the fact that I am a literal thinker, but said it in a typical accusing way. The problem with you, Suzanne, you take everything so literal and I am sure that is why we get into huge arguments. I admit I tried to deny this "accusation" but even when I was trying to defend myself, a little voice said: well, actually he is right and as I pondered I realised that I guess I do!

The problem is that being made aware of this now, it is as though I am deliberately taking things literally, according to my husband and when I try to say that he was the one who first alerted me, he says: oh, Suzanne, you took me literally again; I was only joking or I didn't mean all the time!! Talk about confusing as heck for me!

And just like you, the times I have been told to stop talking, I do stop until I am asked why so silent and then has to be explained that it was not literal!

What I do try and do now is ask the person if they are being literal and that saves me a lot of embarrassment and well, feeling that I am one stupid character, but please bare in mind, that I see MYSELF only as the stupid one!

I am also terrible when it comes to jokes and am virtually always caught out, which makes me a great "pawn" to tease. My husband says he loves winding me up ( and I see the key) because I am so easy to wind up!!!!

Sometimes it can be funny, because of the image that comes into my head and try to stifle the giggle.

It is raining right now and so when ones say: it is raining cats and dogs, I actually imagine them coming down!

When someone says they would love to be a fly on the wall; I go: ewww no thanks; I would rather be a butterfly on the wall! And I get completely what they mean, but the image is so strong and cannot cope with flies that I cannot help but say what is in my head!

What is well, frustrating, is to try and explain to MOST NT's how it is. My husband just does not get it at all. He thinks that if you know not to take it literally, why then, take it literally? But what he does not appreciate ( and I have tried explaining it) is that sometimes I have no idea that it is anything other than literal and other times, the image is so strong, I can't help but take it literal, even if I know it is only figurative.

 

[illud]

Oh dear, figurative vs literal causes a lot of social problems for me too.

My relatives use a lot of figurative speaking and I always take it literal -I think that's why they think I'm too serious or lack empathy-.
My dad points me a lot of the time when I would take something literal. He says I have a problem with it. Well, I can't help it. My dad is also taking the habit to point when an expression was just figurative.
Most times I rather create my own figurative or metaphorical expressions or ideas, I guess because since I create them I understand them better than imagining things that aren't and just leaves me confused.

 

[ancusmitis]

I've actually never struggled with this directly, although because of isolation or entering a new community sometimes unfamiliar expressions will trip me up. Sometimes the meaning can be deduced from context, but not always.

 

[TSS]

I can remember when I was about 10 I stayed with some family friends. I am a very quiet person and was even more quiet as a child. They made the remark, jokingly, that I was talking too much. They were noting my quietness. I stared to cry uncontrollably because I thought I was talking too much and doing something wrong. I was not talking at all. It took them a while to explain their comment, but I still wasn't confidence until my mother later explained it to me. I still do this when someone says something in a joking playful way that I take as doing something I shouldn't have. Does anyone else have this problem?

 

[Beverly]

TSS my gut reaction when that happens is first feel incredulous, then I get defensive. I have to be sure they were being literal and not figurative before I react, or I'll start an argument. It usually goes like this.

Them: Stop talking so much.
Me: I haven't said a word.
Them: Well shut up anyway.
Me: How dare you! Speak to me like that again and you can get out of my house for good! (are fired, can go home alone, etc.. whatever removes them from my presence more or less permanently.)

I don't tolerate false accusation aimed at me at all, and if I think that has happen, the accuser will no longer be a part of my life, in my employee, or whatever PERIOD. So I need to be very careful to not confuse figurative accusations with literal ones.

 

[ancusmitis]

I am often accused of talking too much when I've mostly been silent. Little do they know, I can really get going sometimes! Just not this time....

 

[ancusmitis]

And I do get confused sometimes about which aspect people have seen, so it's not always clearcut what exactly is going on at the moment

 

[Slithytoves]

I'm lucky that I don't have problems with figurative language, sarcasm or humor. That's it, though. Just lucky. I had nothing to do with the cards I was dealt on that. I offer an apology right now to anyone I've ever posted figurative language to, not thinking that some of us don't get it. I'm sure I do it more than I realize.

What I find interesting is that my 12 year old Aspie niece uses sarcasm and figures of speech all the time, but doesn't understand them when others use them. Explain that one!?

 

[Beverly]

I use them too, then have to pause and think about them when I hear them. I find the literal mental image often fits the message I want to convey so, using them is not so difficult as guessing what others might mean by using them because that might not be what I interpret them as meaning.

 

[Slithytoves]

I use them too, then have to pause and think about them when I hear them. I find the literal mental image often fits the message I want to convey so, using them is not so difficult as guessing what others might mean by using them because that might not be what I interpret them as meaning.

Ahhhhh! Good insight. Thanks!

 

[Harrison]

I'm lucky that I don't have problems with figurative language, sarcasm or humor. That's it, though. Just lucky. I had nothing to do with the cards I was dealt on that. I offer an apology right now to anyone I've ever posted figurative language to, not thinking that some of us don't get it. I'm sure I do it more than I realize.

What I find interesting is that my 12 year old Aspie niece uses sarcasm and figures of speech all the time, but doesn't understand them when others use them. Explain that one!?

I don't get sarcasm but I can deliver it.

 

[Nisk]

I'd say almost 70% of my conversations are laced with sarcasms, although this is also a defense mechanism I use to keep people from seeing who I really am.

 

[RidingDutchman]

I'd say almost 70% of my conversations are laced with sarcasms, although this is also a defense mechanism I use to keep people from seeing who I really am.

It sounds very familiar. I don't really think in pictures much but the first thought that crosses my mind when somebody uses figure of speech is always literal. I can catch it quite easily and use it myself quite a bit too because I like them but often I just blurt out my first thought, humoring some and annoying others :3

Dutch has some silly figure of speeches.
It's raining pipe stems (raining a lot)
A tree of a guy (big bloke)
Smelly rich (instead of filthy rich)
They are hanging by his lips (listening closely)
He asks the shirt off my body (asking many many questions)
Wanting to know the seem of the sock (wanting to know everything)
Staring the cat out of the tree (waiting for something to happen)
And many more that I can't think of at this hour of the day xD thought it could be something entertaining for the literal thinkers to wrap their heads around :3 (don't wrap your heads around things though, that sounds unsafe... Mildly funny though... Brain stop please)

 

[Cosmophylla]

TSS: I also have problems with understanding how "serious"/literal an insult might be. Being me I tend to latch onto anything negative said to me. My husband complains I take everything so "personally" but I think he means literally.

Beverly: I think in pictures so I also have a great laugh at some of things I hear! Idioms are amusing and confusing simultaneously. Some that make funny or incredibly confusing images:

Three sheets to the wind (what does it MEAN??? It just doesn't make sense at all!)

Shooting the breeze (is this related to shooting one's mouth off?)

Under the bridge (with the trolls???)


Interestingly, I've found that idioms such as "laugh one's head off" don't confuse me as much and I think it's because the object (i.e. "head" in this case) is not at the end... In my mind I see the images of laughter and head and the word "off" is kind of an afterthought that has no influence on the images I've seen. Does anyone else have some phrases that make more sense than others?

I have a sharp tongue and am extremely sarcastic, but I can't always pick it when someone directs it at me. My 6 year old son (suspected Aspie) is extremely bright and uses sarcasm like an adult but also sometimes misses it when directed at him. Is this about auditory processing, thinking in pictures, or both?

 

[ancusmitis]

I use them too, then have to pause and think about them when I hear them. I find the literal mental image often fits the message I want to convey so, using them is not so difficult as guessing what others might mean by using them because that might not be what I interpret them as meaning.

I don't think it's wrong to use them. If I use one that seems too opaque, I don't mind being asked, though I might answer in PM or something like that. That seems a reasonable accommodation to me. But I don't think purging the whole internet of figurative language would be a good thing. But then I have the privilege of understanding it, at least most of the time.

It sounds very familiar. I don't really think in pictures much but the first thought that crosses my mind when somebody uses figure of speech is always literal. I can catch it quite easily and use it myself quite a bit too because I like them but often I just blurt out my first thought, humoring some and annoying others :3

Dutch has some silly figure of speeches.
It's raining pipe stems (raining a lot)
A tree of a guy (big bloke)
Smelly rich (instead of filthy rich)
They are hanging by his lips (listening closely)
He asks the shirt off my body (asking many many questions)
Wanting to know the seem of the sock (wanting to know everything)
Staring the cat out of the tree (waiting for something to happen)
And many more that I can't think of at this hour of the day xD thought it could be something entertaining for the literal thinkers to wrap their heads around :3 (don't wrap your heads around things though, that sounds unsafe... Mildly funny though... Brain stop please)

Those are good. I like those images--the literal happenstances--but they still make sense.

 

[ChrisC1983]

it's like a type of impulse control for me..... really, it's not easy. i'm constantly trying to figure out if the person means something in a literal or figurative way based on who is saying it, how they say it, and the situation. so now, for the most part, i can stop myself from blurting out that explanation of how a line can be slower (i did the same thing as a kid)

don't get me wrong, i still instantly come up with atleast 1 example that i want to say outloud. but i've changed my default response for just about everything from a "they meant it literally, i need to respond in a literal fashion" to a more simple quiet short laugh. usually it's the more common response that the person was expecting and on the much rarer chance they did want a real response, i can easily follow up with an earnest answer.

the down side, is that i laugh all the time. it makes people perceive me as being happier than i am. some can still tell my honest laugh from my fake default one (both my honest laugh and the people who can identify them are few and far between) so nobody ever really believes i'm as depressed as i am. but all in all there is worse things for people to think.. as you know.

i can also use that 1st thought literal interpretation response as a form of humor. i like to say "i'm punny" (as opposed to "funny") because the responses come off as puns. so, in the example of somebody saying "could this line move any slower" i can follow up the laugh (or even skip it) and say something like "slow moving lines were called parties back in the 80s" (i also have a unique sense of humor lol)

 

[Aspergirl4hire]

I had an interesting (to me) experience at work recently, where a colleague was mocking someone's overblown prose and then using the same metaphors to present how he'd do it better. I said, "I like your ideas but I don't understand how to support them. I need you to tell me what I can do." He didn't get it, so I made up a sample task list. "I need this," I said. "Do this, then that, unless something happens." And I drew a chart. Suddenly we understood each other. It was the first time that I really looked at the differences between metaphorical language, visual language, and technical instruction all-at-once with a mind unlike my own, but which could communicate with my own.

 

[Beverly]

My humor tends to be snarky or risque, I have a talent for twisting what people say into the gutter. I try to avoid using it when I know I need to seem a bit less crude but, it is funny even if I just think it.

Like the other day, my DH and I went to Wendy's for burgers. His had a hair in it and he complained but my response was "Well you like eating fur burgers so, that's not a problem. Maybe the girl cooking has one for you." my DH burst out laughing and turned beet red because the cook heard me. the cook was embarrassed and laughing too LOL. (I know totally inappropriate but so funny.)