• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Filtering Out Friends

The Penguin

Chilly Willy The Penguin
It took me a long time to learn that I should have been filtering out friends a long time ago. For this subject, I mean working out the type of friend you like to have including the type of personality you want them to have.

I worked out a system works for me. Note a system might work for one person might not necessarily work for you as you might want different things than the other system that person wants. The most important thing I will stress is never show someone that you are despite having a friend. You might put yourself at risk of having many things going wrong.
 
I use a system that looks like a dart board or the Target store symbol, with a bullseye in the middle.

Each ring on the target represents importance and how I spend my time.

In the center bullseye ring are the people who are closest to me and I love spending time with.

The next ring has friends that I actually like and enjoy spending time with.

The outer rings is filled with people that don't reciprocate well and I don't care to spend time with.

The system helps me decide how and with who I spend my time, or not.
 
I just have one friend, easy to keep track of. The rest I might talk to out of necessity, or because they think we're friends when I actually couldn't care less. Picky doesn't begin to cover my tastes in friends.
 
I can only be close friends with people who appreciate me for who I am AND - not OR - don't lose their cool because of my quirky behavior. I have encountered a very small number of such people, and those are the people that I cling to like a moth to a flame, ones that are keepers, one I will never ever let go of. I've been told to be less clingy to these people and I have been heeding this advice to prevent any risks of them leaving me because of the extreme neediness.

The next category is people who treat me in a civil manner but are capable of becoming impatient with me. Many of the people I know and have known are in this category (keep in mind guys that I don't know a lot of people as is). I don't tolerate unnecessary impatience, so these people are simply my acquaintances. I appreciate the fact that they treat me in a civil manner, and I don't cut them out of my life for this important reason, as they still appreciate me for who I am in most cases - but I simply know we can't be friends because of that one shortcoming, it's just not going to work out that way. I have very high standards when it comes to friendship; I don't really like people in general.

The final category are the scum of the Earth - ones who have made fun of me, bullied me, taken advantage of me or have been "fake friends" to me. I don't really have much to say about this category, they should just rot.
 

New Threads

Top Bottom