Final new year's post

[RemyZee]

I appear to be binge posting today. I'm a bi female and have been dating a neuro atypical woman. I Really relate to her her, and I don't relate to very many people, and there are even fewer I'm comfortable with. She is smart, hilarious, caring and is great at show tunes. This is the thang: she has a basset hound she adores. I love animals especially dogs, but this one is giving me tough time.

I am a basically fastidious person in my home, but the pooch just unravels things. I'm using a wheel chair right now because I just had leg surgery. She's frightened of it and jumps on the couch has to get away. She bellows. She knocked over a big glass of tea yesterday and it fell right onto my 3 favorite books. My gf lets the dog sleep in her bed. She smells, and I have a very exaggerated sense of smell and noise.

I just don't know what to do. It's kind of exciting to be dating someone I'm comfortable with but I am ashamed to say, as an animal lover, that her dog is a sensory nightmare and I don't want to end a good thing over someone's pet

 

[kriss72]

If she is anything with her dog as I was with my cat when I met my JJ, then you would have to accept it as is - we had conflicts over it in the beginning... it got better over the years, it lived for a long time. JJ knew about the cat from very early on and part of getting me was getting the cat too.

I'm not saying your gf is like me, you know her better than me

In general I don't like dogs for sensory issues, e.g. they make loud noises which are painfull to listen to for me. People with dogs tell me many times that there dogs are "safe" and don't bite... ok, but that is not why I'm scared of them

 

[MC1Rcat]

I agree that your gf may not want to make too many changes regarding the dog. People are often super devoted to their pets and can be insulted if someone has an issue with them. I would be careful with your wording when talking to her about it. But there are probably some adjustments that could be made to help. For example, would it help with the dog smell for her to bathe the dog more often ...and to mop the floor and wash linens that the dog gets onto more often? My mom has dogs and ASD sensory issues and she puts blankets on the couch and washes them weekly. She also bathes her dogs at home weekly. As far as the dog knocking things over, you will have to adjust, and keep things out of reach of her mouth, paws and swishing tail. As far as noise goes, I think owners can train their dogs not to bark as much, or can tell them to stop, but I don't know if that is something that can be easily addressed if the dog is older or is a breed that barks a lot. I can't bear any dog barking noise, it literally hurts my ears/ head. For that reason, I wear earplugs when I visit my mother, and have to get off the phone with her if the dogs are going crazy when we speak. Good luck!

 

[Neri]

Dogs barking drive me to extreme aggravation. I wish it were not so, they are often lovely creatures, but their chaotic energy unnerves me and I can't help my nervous system reaction. There is good advice on this thread though. I have a daughter and a partner who are both, very much dog people, and I do like them, but I find them often unhygienic and loud and unsettling. I wish you well in finding a solution @RemyZee