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Finally mad

LillBeanSprout

LillBeanSprout

Active Member
I feel like I could hit him in the head with a stick. I suppose that is not a very good thing to say.
I tried so, so hard today after listening I wouldn't have his company in my birthday and that he is the reason why this is all still up and running, I could just burst in flames.
I tried so hard to keep an interesting conversation throughout dinner. I understand I'm venting somehow.
He picked something I find random in he conversation to hit my sweet spot. I did sometihing socially wrong today Now i understand. But I honestly think I was just sharing my point of view at dinner, but our opinions differed on a subject and I feel like he just picked that up to like throw on me what he had been holding out all day.
I don't want anyone to say I'm right. It's unfair, his atitude I am aware.
It's just hurting. Hurting me. I wish I was able to make him see. Hear. Why can't I just have the ability to make him hear. I'm so mad. Him. Me. The whole world. Everyone. Everything.
 
I find your post very difficult to understand.

-"I feel like I could hit him in the head with a stick. I suppose that is not a very good thing to say."
That's fairly clear, you are very angry at him.

-"I tried so, so hard today after listening I wouldn't have his company in my birthday and that he is the reason why this is all still up and running, I could just burst in flames."
After listening to what? Do you mean that you didn't want him at your birthday celebration, or his guests maybe? What is 'all this' that is still up and running?

-"He picked something I find random in he conversation to hit my sweet spot."
What does hitting your sweet spot mean? I would tend to interpret that as being a good thing except for the general tone of your post.

-"...our opinions differed on a subject and I feel like he just picked that up to like throw on me what he had been holding out all day."
I don't want to guess, if we were having a conversation I'd ask you to rephrase that.

My purpose is not to criticize your post, rather I am trying to show you how it might be clearer. If it were clearer you would be more likely to receive productive responses.
 
First;: my thanks for being here. Thank you for not being alone.

MrSpock said:
I find your post very difficult to understand.

-"I feel like I could hit him in the head with a stick. I suppose that is not a very good thing to say."
That's fairly clear, you are very angry at him.
Yes I am and that is unusual for me. I don't feel this often.

-"I tried so, so hard today after listening I wouldn't have his company in my birthday and that he is the reason why this is all still up and running, I could just burst in flames."
After listening to what? Do you mean that you didn't want him at your birthday celebration, or his guests maybe? What is 'all this' that is still up and running?

The day started on the wrong foot and he stated he would't spend it with me.

-"He picked something I find random in he conversation to hit my sweet spot."
What does hitting your sweet spot mean? I would tend to interpret that as being a good thing except for the general tone of your post.

My sweet spot: he misinterpreted me and didn't let me to explain what I meant.


-"...our opinions differed on a subject and I feel like he just picked that up to like throw on me what he had been holding out all day."
I don't want to guess, if we were having a conversation I'd ask you to rephrase that.

My purpose is not to criticize your post, rather I am trying to show you how it might be clearer. If it were clearer you would be more likely to receive productive responses.
Click to expand...

I am sorry for not being clearer. I feel I'm falling appart. Benzos are kicking in. I am starting to calm down.

Just noticed: responses all mixed up in quote. Sorry for that. Sincerely.
 
Sometimes it helps to delay a discussion on anything. Not come to any conclusions about it. Not talk about it until your prepared. When you're hurting, you can't get your point across. It's better to talk or write later, when you can put it into words. Walk away, put it off, refuse to discuss it. Give yourself time.
 
Mia: I did walk away after trying all I could think of. I am in bed trying to warm up. My temperature drops when I am nervous. Like ice cold. Hands cold. Feet cold. So I am under my blankets to warm up.
I also voted to do benzos to calm down. I wasn't able to do that for myself. Doc said to use them in SOS.
Thank you for your words. It makes the ice go away.
 
You are not alone. I've not talked to someone for a few weeks now, and I miss her a lot. I feel it's best to wait because we've been having communication issues and trying to talk through them is fruitless. Trying has just made things worse, and it may be the end already. Her birthday is coming up this month, and I'll try texting her 'happy birthday' then, and see what happens.

I think that most people on this site have communication difficulties. You are not alone.
 
My birthday is tomorrow. As far as I can say, a text message can mean a lot. So, don't forget to send her. For yourself. You will be at peace with yourself if you send it, whatever her answer may be.
 
MrSpock : text her. That's the appropriate thing to do socially. It's logical. ;)
I hated the idea of meds, but they actually work.
Having people that understand you works too. It feels like a blessing you know?...
 
LillBeanSprout said:
My birthday is tomorrow.
Click to expand...

Mine too! Coincidences are always fun.

Relationships are always frustrating for us, and I've never met an Aspie that assertion did not apply to. I've been with some perfectly open-minded people who just refused to understand. I've totally given up on relationships for that reason; I don't think I can ever make them understand, and the pain that results just isn't worth it.
 
LillBeanSprout said:
Mia: I did walk away after trying all I could think of. I am in bed trying to warm up. My temperature drops when I am nervous. Like ice cold. Hands cold. Feet cold. So I am under my blankets to warm up.
Click to expand...

The same thing happens to me, when I'm nervous I become really cold. Sometimes I even shudder or shake. Thought that was just me. Or something to do with low blood pressure. Happy birthday for today Bean.
 
Mia said:
The same thing happens to me, when I'm nervous I become really cold. Sometimes I even shudder or shake. Thought that was just me. Or something to do with low blood pressure. Happy birthday for today Bean.
Click to expand...

When we feel attack, cortisol is released, which constricts our blood vessels. The smallest ones feel it the most.

And of course, we feel a lot, anyway :)
 
I get cold, too. I heard that Vaso Vagal can be involved. I get Vaso vagal response a lot. Passing out w blood draws etc.......it makes going to Dr isanity. THey cannot even check my eyes or I am on the ground. I had a vasal vagal seizure once and the nurse was freaking out! Scary to me because it can cause trouble during operations.

At any rate HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! :-) I hope you feel better.
 
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