Finally signed up to a doctors

[M11]

So after 3 years of being unregistered to a doctors and some big nudges in the right direction from my partner I’ve finally signed up to a GP.

So after roughly 8-12 months of research and having so much inner tourmoil as I have never fully fit a definite description of one thing. I think it’s possible that I may be ADHD/Autistic. Once accepted by the GP is it possible to ask for a dual diagnosis if not what should inquire about first?

With the diagnosis having conflicting traits I believe this is why I’ve gone under the radar for 30+years although I’ve always felt different in some way.

SPECIAL INTERESTS/ HYPERFIXATIONS

• 15-26 I had a real obsession with playing call of duty 10 hours a day staying up around 1-3am usually which would lead me going into college and falling asleep. So I didn’t go out much apart from working part time or going for a drink on a weekend which a 2-3 close mate would always get drunk before leaving the house so clubbing was never an issue then.
• I also used to gamble a lot which was more the impulsive side of me watching horse racing 6+ hours a day going from race to race.
• Currently the past 2-3 years I’ve been all in on my work and trying to be successful which has had a positive effect on making me drop the above 2. Always looking at reports my brains buzzing ideas off starting my new job constantly waking up at 5am or sometimes struggling to get to sleep.
• also the past 10 months or so I’ve none stopped researches ADHD,Giftedness and Autism just trying to gain as much information as possible to see what I relate to as I’ve always felt different but just trying to figure out how.

I think my traits conflict massively so even my girlfriend was unaware what I was thinking until I broke down in front of her a few weeks ago explaining how I feel different but I don’t know what’s up with me. Since then she has pushed me to put the wheels in motion to sign up the GP. On the point of shutdowns I’ve had 2 previously:

• My first one happened at work when I got left alone on a department with a queue of 10+ irate customers, till bell going, phone going etc and I got so overwhelmed I just went into the back and started crying bear in mind I haven’t cried for 8-10 years previously at a grandmother funeral. So I just walked out there and then, only unprofessional thing I’ve ever done. I went the doctors and they mentioned depression which I told them I’m never sad it’s never happened to me before. They said it could be anxiety then so put me on beta blockers but they done nothing so I stopped taking them. After 2 weeks and time to myself I was back to my usual self. (Maybe this is why I’ve never resigned up to a doctors after moving house)
• the second occurred on a stag do where I didn’t know many of the people there and when I go out I’d usually have a few drinks first to get tipsy but we didn’t we went out straight away with all the loud music, lights and new people I was basically overloaded and I had to hurry off back to my room where I broke down and rang my girlfriend saying I’m not like all of these people.

I feel in work my autistic traits are a lot more noticeable and this is the side my girlfriend doesn’t see where there’s more unpredictable social situations I’m not the greatest at meeting new people and having flowing conversations I just keep to myself and speak about work until I get to know people. “So I’ve been told a few times I’m quite awkward” where at home my girlfriend gets the chatty side which doesn’t stop unless I’ve been exhausted from work and I get frustrated really easily so I try to have time to myself then to save arguments. I also have the constant struggle of training to have the perfect routine for work but at home daily life is definitely a struggle sometimes in these areas:

• personal hygiene
• getting washing done on time
• akways ironing before work 6am
• kerping thing clean and organised until it gets so messy I go off on one and have the house perfectly clean in 1 day happened about 3 times in the past 8 months.

I’ve had a few development delays I see in my eyes like first girlfriend 27, moved out 30, and I’m in my 30’s but look and act in my early to mid 20’s. I struggle with a lot more stuff but don’t want this post to be too much longer than it is:

• sensory issues- if I’m touched lightly the side of my body it’s genuinely unbearable.
• when people click and fidget with their pens it drives me insane as it constantly distracts me yet I know I’m always doing it.
• I struggle to talk in front of groups/off a script but if it’s something I’m interested in I won’t shut up haha.
• Chaotic brain that never switches off.

sorry for the long post I’m using this as a sort of journal and to see if anyone relates or I’m sort of going down the wrong path in my research.

i’m glad to be posting again and moving forward even if it is only the first step in signing up to a Gp!

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Welcome, and I am glad you are on the right path towards a possible diagnosis.

However,...do understand, a GP generally is not qualified to diagnose neurological conditions such as autism. Rather, what you will ultimately need is a referral to an adult autism specialist in order to be tested and assessed.

Just some tips with this:
1. Take a look at the diagnostic statistical manual (DSM-5) and read the text on autism and ADHD. This will give you some context and perspective.
2. Write down an itemized list of your behavioral traits, thoughts, sensory issues, experiences, etc. that "fit" within the context of autism and ADHD. Keep in mind, these sorts of things need to be "persistent" or "on-going",...not "every once in a while",...the things that affect your life on a daily basis. Write them down,...I created a Word file,...printed and brought it to my appointment. For me, it was my "You might be autistic if,..." list.
3. Autism has some core social and communication characteristics. If you are being "overly polite and social" because you are masking or hiding who you are or how you actually feel,...and that is a talent,...but is counterproductive in this instance. The doctor(s) need to observe how you really are with some transparency.
4. If you are taking certain "nootropic" supplements, including caffeine,...things that influence cognitive performance,...stop taking them prior to your appointment. You have to be "at your worst".

 

[Richelle-H]

Welcome @MD1!

Goodness me, if the length of your post is any measure you certainly seem to have a very demanding life at the moment. It is impossible for any of us here to pass judgement, but you have a good chance of landing somewhere on the spectrum. There are a few things in your post to which I relate or brush up against.

My first reaction was your saying you were not depressed because you were not sad. Depression can take many forms that do not include being sad. My comment comes from experience. So do not discount the possibility, for depression bumps up against a good deal of what you wrote; in my opinion (and just that, I have no basis for certainty). I had a major depression the summer I turned 31. I just felt so alone that I shut down and spent nearly 3 months in a deep well of 'nothing was worth doing'. I was not suicidal but certain that I was unloved and worthless (even though on a purely intellectual level I could fathom that my feelings were self-induced and mostly untrue ).

There was a time when I was hyper-focused on work (as a programmer/analyst). It was 50 or 60 hours a week for over a year. That did land me an all expenses paid cruise to the Virgin Islands. I was purposeful in my attempt to solidify a job that I could sustain me until retirement. You must understand that I was approaching 50 at the time and it was the only business that responded to my resume out of a half-dozen submissions. I will admit that I was in a bit of a panic then, just having been let go from my previous situation. With all that, it became the best job I ever held (even with one or two moments of confrontation with management).

The symptomology you describe certainly did not just appear. You must have experienced some of what you admit to when you were growing up. My teen years were an absolute horror best left undescribed. I actually was nearing my twenty-ninth birthday when my life took a decided turn for the better (lots of changes including moving into a place of my own).

You have the proper motivation in seeking medical and or psychiatric help. Have you taken any of the online assessment tests for autism in your research? They can offer hints that may put things in perspective but they are only that and only a professionally trained and perceptive therapist can say for sure and they can be wrong because they are human and have biases of which they may not be aware (I had three different therapists over the course of a few years while two of them had no doubt I was HFA, one went off in a direction that was so weird I just blanked it out).

All the best in your search for some tranquility. This is a supportive and safe harbour with many resources and loads of active experience. Join in as you see fit. It can be quite therapeutic.

 

[M11]

Welcome, and I am glad you are on the right path towards a possible diagnosis.

However,...do understand, a GP generally is not qualified to diagnose neurological conditions such as autism. Rather, what you will ultimately need is a referral to an adult autism specialist in order to be tested and assessed.

Just some tips with this:
1. Take a look at the diagnostic statistical manual (DSM-5) and read the text on autism and ADHD. This will give you some context and perspective.
2. Write down an itemized list of your behavioral traits, thoughts, sensory issues, experiences, etc. that "fit" within the context of autism and ADHD. Keep in mind, these sorts of things need to be "persistent" or "on-going",...not "every once in a while",...the things that affect your life on a daily basis. Write them down,...I created a Word file,...printed and brought it to my appointment. For me, it was my "You might be autistic if,..." list.
3. Autism has some core social and communication characteristics. If you are being "overly polite and social" because you are masking or hiding who you are or how you actually feel,...and that is a talent,...but is counterproductive in this instance. The doctor(s) need to observe how you really are with some transparency.
4. If you are taking certain "nootropic" supplements, including caffeine,...things that influence cognitive performance,...stop taking them prior to your appointment. You have to be "at your worst".

I’m currently in the process of trying to write everything I experience down I’ve spent a lot of time researching. but not actually writing anything down so I find It hard to say each specific thing I experience.

1) I have read the diagnostic criteria multiple times but yet to write it down so I forget bits but I definitely relate to some not all with a slight preference to ADHD tendencies.
2) This is a great idea I’ll use. I’m currently in the process of doing that’s now I’ve been naive and done countless hours research but put nothing to paper as when some traits don’t match up I naively assume I can’t be. But definitely sensory issues and being constantly switched brain/on the go are persistent but I’d have to get my pen to paper to give a detail description of a daily basis.
3) I’m known to be overly polite and a people pleaser in the sense of always going out my way to cover shifts when needed Or earlys to help out when not necessarily wanting to/being able to say no. I’m also known as being the person always smiling I’ve just never known if it’s masking or it’s just me.
4) I’ve never tasted coffee I don’t like the smell

 

[M11]

Hi thank you for your in detailed post @Richelle-H

I’ve never really researched depression as I’ve just never thought it to be the case but I’m not closed off to anything. I feel I’ve been overwhelmed on both occasions once for 5 days the other for 10 not in the sense of “nothings worth doing” more in the sense when I went out and got to the supermarket it was all too much for those 5-10 days as my emotions had peaked from the shutdown/anxiety attack for whatever it was.

So currently I’m on my 4th promotion in 2years not meaning to brag (probs my due to hyper-focus of some sort as I’ve been an entry level worker 11 years prior) life seems to be going good on the work front and at home with my partner but it’s things still like going for dinner with my partner last night in a crowded venue and it feels like too much is going on and I can’t stay focused with the constant movement in my eyeline or multiple conversations going on.

Symptoms as a child is a hard one for me as I can’t remember the finer details of my childhood I have to think back long and hard bits I remember are having freak outs/tantrums if I’m a shopping mall too long with my mum, getting labels cut out of tops and wearing old tops with holes in constantly over new clothes I was bought until my mum would bin them because I was always going out in scruffy clothes, really disliking bathing as a kid not the greatest hygiene so would get forced to and being a bright child who was in a gifted and talented class. But done no homework and got send out of class all the time for being a distraction but not necessarily a bad child.

I done an AQ test and scored along the lines 33-35 but I know that these don’t count for much so I didn’t mention anything and would rather get peoples experiences on here.

 

[Aspychata]

Such excellent help, really helpful posts.

I will just butt in with a small thought. We are contradictions, in many ways. So if you can accept this part of you, things will go smoother.