Finally some answers to why I always felt different

[Kukabine]

I am 38 year old woman witness 4 children. I have had a hard life full of struggles and lots of doctors. I have hard time fitting in anywhere and have gotten to a point my early 20's in avoiding people. Had pick bad relationship with men and always struggled on understanding things people thought I should get. I feel many people throughout my life thought I was just ffooling around, and I got to a point I learned to hide and pretend to be what I should be. What got me looking into aspergers is my youngest boy of 10 yes old was diagnosed with it 4 years ago and he reminds me of myself and he relates to me very easy. I came across a article on women having aspergers and how they are missed on being diagnosed right because they don't display the same kind of symptoms. It went on and had women on were diagnosed later on how they feel and what theft go through and it hit me that it was my life without question. I felt big relief lifted from me that I finally found an answer to so many questions I have had about myself in feeling I don't belong and what is wrong with me. I am back to seeing a new therapist and I am going to ask he questions concerning this. I know it went be easy to get a doctor to listen to me but now I feel I am know the right track.

 

[Warwick C]

Welcome Kukabine. You have found a nice friendly place here, you are not the only lady here there are lots more here for you to converse with.

 

[wyverary]

Welcome! Yes, females being underdiagnosed is a big issue, one that is much discussed here. I would recommend the Resources section of our site...folks have posted some excellent books related to females on the autism specturm. Asperger's & Autism Resources | AspiesCentral.com

Hope you like it here.

 

[Turk]

Hi Kuka, and welcome,,
Yes many of us parents find out, we're on the spectrum, that way. You dont have to hide your true self in here. We're glad your here regardless.
Cheers
Turk

 

[Vanilla]

Welcome Kuka

I'm sorry to hear that life has been so hard for you. From one female with AS to another, I understand.

I would recommend you read this book: Aspergirls: Empowering Females With Asperger Syndrome | AspiesCentral.com

I feel that it describes much of what you have just described, and it will help you realise just how many women with AS have fallen in to the same traps that you have. If anything, it should help you realise that you are not alone in this, and hopefully give you some insight in to why it has all happened, and how you can learn to deal with people in future.

 

[nowwhat]

Welcome. I'm genuinely happy for aspies who find this place. I am a parent, as well. This is a well-behaved, kindly forum. Relax.

 

[Salmongirl17]

Welcome, Kukabine!

 

[arthousesalem]

I am 38 year old woman witness 4 children. I have had a hard life full of struggles and lots of doctors. I have hard time fitting in anywhere and have gotten to a point my early 20's in avoiding people. Had pick bad relationship with men and always struggled on understanding things people thought I should get. I feel many people throughout my life thought I was just ffooling around, and I got to a point I learned to hide and pretend to be what I should be... I came across a article on women having aspergers and how they are missed on being diagnosed right because they don't display the same kind of symptoms. It went on and had women on were diagnosed later on how they feel and what theft go through and it hit me that it was my life without question. I felt big relief lifted from me that I finally found an answer to so many questions I have had about myself in feeling I don't belong and what is wrong with me...

Reading your post was like reading me. I was diagnosed at 39. I have felt the same things you have. A diagnosis helped me, allowed me to accept myself even though family and therapist insisted it wouldn't make a difference. I disagree. It has made a difference, it's made a difference to me. Be strong and take the next step

 

[Kukabine]

I know exactly how you feel. I am 39 years old as Well a woman with 4 children. I struggled through out life trying to fit in and understand people. I was in learning disabilities classes very young with no answers what was wrong with me. I was hospitalized 3 times at 16 years old for trying to kill myself. I had my first child at 19 years old and I endured life because of my children. Around 30 years old I avoided people as much as I could. When I did work I would come home and lock myself in my room because I was exhausted mentally. My youngest was diagnosed at 5 years old with aspergers and he is now 11 years old. Through this process I realized I have all the same traits. I do not know where to begin finding a place to diagnose me right because I was diagnosed at 17 years old with bi-polar and I know that it isn't my right diagnoses. The town I live in is small and to find a doctor around me is slim for adults with this disorder. I feel alone and weary of trying to understand basic things that others find instinct in them. My husband now is bi-polar and he understands me better then anyone has but at times when I am worn down I shut down and he thinks I am playing games or giving up. I wish he would know I am really trying best I can and it gets difficult for me at times to leave my dark enclosed bedroom.

 

[Tom]

Hi & Welcome,
You can discuss it with your family doctor and they can refer you to a specialist for a evaluation (will be a Psychologist, Psychiatrist or Neurologist typically). Be sure to check which of those is covered by your medical plan, if you have one. If you do not have a plan look into Medicare as it has programs for some uninsured people.

 

[Aster]

Welcome, and I agree that there is much here to quell your questions, as well as many friendly people