I. Public Assistance as a Mixed Blessing
About public assistance. It's a bag of mixed blessings. My personal bias is that, if you can make it without going on public assistance, then stay off of it as long as you can. You'll feel better about yourself and there will be no one looking over your shoulder every month scrutinizing every dollar you make.
(Some explanation might help. I learned we were poor when I was a teen. Keep in mind this was many, many years ago. At that time, we were living on around $7,000 a year--almost 50% below the federal poverty amount for a family of our size at that time. So yes, I am
very grateful for the assistance we received, and no, I never want to be on public assistance again.)
II. What to expect from a reporting standpoint
With that said, when you enroll in a public assistance program, they want to know how much you make and what you own. When we went to sign up for medicare last winter, they wanted to know if we had given anyway or disposed of any personal belongings within the past 5 years. We had just moved 3x's in those 5 years--of course we had disposed of redistributed belongings! But what, exactly, that was and what its dollar amount was, was just impossible to say. (We're always asking ourselves, "do you remember that [say] sweater you used to wear?" "yeah. I wonder where that went..." & then we chalk up its absence to moving.) Anyway, just to say, being aware that this process exists might spare you from surprises down the road.
We used to have to report our income from every income source every month. I don't know how it's handled these days, as my experience was all in the pre-internet and pre-copy machine era. If last month assistance program
x gave us $35 too little in aide, then this month assistance program
y might overage us $40, and the following month our WIC (or something like that) would drop us altogether because we overran their monthly income allowance--which would mean having to reapply. This is just a hypothetical illustration but I think the point gets across. You have to become an expert record keeper and will have to self-advocate for your rights, because no one will do it for you. This also means that you will have to know how the programs work (to some degree) so that you can continue working. It's easier to get off assistance if you're not fully dependent upon it in the first place. This knowing how the system works, however, may place you in an uncomfortable situation: social stigma.
III. What to expect from those around you
There used to be quite a stigma against people on public assistance. My mother has permanent brain damage from domestic abuse. She cannot work. (Something about passing out and collapsing to the floor while attending patients scared the bejeebers out of both the patients and her employer!) But she looks...normal. She talks normal; she
seems normal. Just, don't ask her what she did yesterday; she might not remember.
Growing up, people who she thought were her friends would badger me that people like her shouldn't be on public assistance because she
looked fine. I have never told her about their two-facedness. They of all people should have known the daily difficulties and continual trials she endured. I would like to think that the tenor of the public's perception of public assistance has changed quite a bit since then. But it is my opinion that while the words have changed, the meaning is the same. Today you're likely to run into the anti-entitlement crowd. The average person seems to forget that the system is there for a reason for public assistance, to help those who can't help themselves or to help those who have difficulties helping themselves. Our culture values promoting self-independence; if you need assistance to live independently, then don't let those nay-sayers keep you from doing so. You'll be better off for it, and so will society as well. Nay-sayers included.
IV. What to expect from yourself
I know this might be a curious category to include, but I think it is an important one. How you see yourself, and your identity, shouldn't be wrapped up in the value of your bank account (or lack thereof). Sadly, for many people it is. (I was just talking about this with a friend the other day & I appreciated her take on this. Maybe you will, too.) You have an intrinsic value that far outweighs the circumstance you are in or the help you might potentially receive. This is where your true identity lies, in who you are as a person. If public assistance can help you, then take advantage of it. But beware that public assistance does require a certain amount of cooperation on your part, and those continual demands can erode your sense of self and identity.
It is very difficult for someone raised in public assistance to escape its shadow. After I grew up and left home, I promised myself that I would never again accept public assistance. But when I found myself working two part-time jobs at about 60 hours a week, and had to choose between buying food or buying gas for my car so I could work, I signed up for food stamps. When the much-needed help came, I cried terribly. I had promised myself that I wouldn't become my mother and in accepting the aid, I had just let myself down.
My identity was too tightly wrapped up in the perceived value of a couple of pieces of paper for me to stay with the aid. For my own sanity, I needed to get off the assistance. I did--I still have a remaining $20 in a box around here somewhere as a reminder to myself that that is not the way I wanted to live--even though it came at a high cost to my health to gain the experience necessary to be eligible for a higher paying job. (The human body was not designed to work 70-90 hrs. a week for months on end.)
V. The Bright Side of Public Assistance
I am very pleased that I now work for an organization that administers grant programs that help low-income and disabled residents. The job posting I applied to only listed the basic duties, yet the more I learn about this program, the more I feel so humbled to be a part of it. We offer a wide variety of federally funded assistance programs to our residents.
So, the first place you're going to want to look is the city in which you live. A lot of the aid will seem piecemeal. Maybe it will be help for replacing a water heater for a low-income resident, or maybe it will be daycare assistance for a specified time. Apply for what is relevant for your situation. Aid programs change every year and there may be application requirements such as (obviously) income or certain times during the year where aid may be sought. But there is a
lot of aid out there.
Here are some
links to assistance programs that may be able to help you get out on your own and avoid the income cap that comes with a disability award:
1. The State of California Employment Development Department (EDD) has a list of links
here.
2. I'm not sure, but I think this
Benefits.Gov website is also for the State of California.
3. Private entities also distribute or manage Federal grants or even have private funding that supports their activities. I'm not sure if that is or is not the case with MoneyFit.Org, but here is a
resource list they offer. Here is
another resource list from NeedHelpPayingBills.com. Note that this list has links to other charity organizations and medical resources as well.
These are just a few examples of what you may find on the net. If you want to realize your dream of living on your own, but are worried about how you will do that, perhaps some of these resources may help make your dream a reality. While I am not a proponent of entitled help, I am a proponent of empowered help. And you're right, disability insurance, in this country, pigeonholes the disabled into a box from which they cannot escape. You don't want that. What you want is a step-ladder, not a box. If you do eventually move out of your parents' home and you find yourself struggling, maybe some of these resources may act as a step-ladder to help you work toward your own financial independence.
VI. Final thoughts.
The best way I have found to remain independent of parental or government aid is through education. If you're willing and can invest yourself into a certificate or trade or degree program, you will grow your skillset and hopefully can work towards financial independence, despite having a disability. Don't let the disability hold you back. Find a way around it.
