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For those who are bilingual: one "personality" for each language?

M

marc_101

Well-Known Member
A random question (well, not really random) for you. I've been thinking about how I mask and compensate. I'm comfortable with English now and I have developed relatively good ways of interacting with people in English. I have good interpersonal skills in English (where "good" is questionable and on a scale).

But I have a hard time switching back to my native language. I feel like I don't know who I am and I don't know how to "be" in my native language anymore. It takes a lot of effort. People sometimes get offended when I revert back to English. I joke that languages in my brain are stored in different sections that don't mix.

I have never heard of this in terms of ASD, but I think it's a product of masking. I re-invented myself by speaking a different language.

I can clarify more if this doesn't make sense to you. Curious if anybody heard this before or have an explanation.
 
I speak another 3 languages quite well apart from my native language (English). I find that speaking in another language creates a kind of distancing that makes it easier for me to talk, like a mask, I suppose. As a result I often prefer to use the foreign language rather than English with speakers of that language.

I'm not sure what causes the distancing though, I need to think about that.
 
I have experienced it with dialects. I used to have a very thick dialect that is spoken only in one spesific area and people in other areas often don't understand it at all. So when I have moved to areas with a different dialect, I have switched to the new dialect but not on purpose. It just happens, I think it's a form of masking. And then after a while it's very difficult to switch back to my original dialect.

Haven't experienced the same problem with languages, it has never been a problem going back to my native language. But dialects have been more tricky.
 
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I was told once that you can't really speak another language until you start to think in that language. Could that be part of it?
 
Forest Cat said:
I have experienced it with dialects. I used to have a very thick dialect that is spoken only in one spesific area and people in other areas often don't understand it at all. Very big differences in dialects here and there are over 800 of them. So when I have moved to areas with a different dialect, I have switched to the new dialect but not on purpose. It just happens, I think it's a form of masking. And then after a while it's very difficult to switch back to my original dialect.

Haven't experienced the same problem with languages, I switch between speaking four languages and it has never been a problem going back to my native language. But dialects have been more tricky.
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It does feel like that. I can't talk feelings in my native language at all. When I got back home I shutdown for the first couple of days. Knowing that helps a bit. I plan for a slower transition.

@Outdated. It could be. You need to let go part of your personality to be fluent, I think.
 
I'm native German but moved to an English speaking country close to 20 years ago and for me there certainly is a different personality or persona attached to English. For the past 10 of those 20 years I barely spoke German at all anymore as there aren't really many people around that would require me to speak German and even if they are German natives, if I have met them speaking english, my brain refuses to switch over to German. At this point I think, dream etc in English so I am about as "native" in it as can be for someone who wasn't born with the language.

One fun fact - I do not have a German accent so it almost is like a different persona, separated from my "german personality"

Whenever I HAVE to speak German, I have great difficulties not just with the general sentence structures etc but also with "who I am" if that makes any sense.
 
ThanosTheDwarf said:
I'm native German but moved to an English speaking country close to 20 years ago and for me there certainly is a different personality or persona attached to English. For the past 10 of those 20 years I barely spoke German at all anymore as there aren't really many people around that would require me to speak German and even if they are German natives, if I have met them speaking english, my brain refuses to switch over to German. At this point I think, dream etc in English so I am about as "native" in it as can be for someone who wasn't born with the language.

One fun fact - I do not have a German accent so it almost is like a different persona, separated from my "german personality"

Whenever I HAVE to speak German, I have great difficulties not just with the general sentence structures etc but also with "who I am" if that makes any sense.
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Your experience sounds like mine (pun intended).

I even talk to my pets in English. I think it's an experience common to a lot of people, but have been wondering if it manifest in different ways with ASD.
 
marc_101 said:
Your experience sounds like mine (pun intended).

I even talk to my pets in English. I think it's an experience common to a lot of people, but have been wondering if it manifest in different ways with ASD.
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Same ... Never thought of talking to my dog in German (he' probably just look at me weird). I am sure you are right that is the same for many people who have been living with a foreign language for a long time.
 
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