Friend Keeps Ghosting Me (read bottom)

[The Artistic Autistic]

I don’t understand. A person keeps not showing up to hangout??

I met this girl at campus and we talk a lot and switch numbers. A week or so later I run into her twice in one day and we talk a lot each time, and at the end of the day she asks if she could go trick or treating with me. Several days later she texts me and wonders if I want to go to a party with her. I say yes and we go and everything is good. Later then late on halloween night I get a text from her saying she can’t make it. All well. Later when we are texting I ask if she wants to go hiking with me a week later. She says yes and we plan it out, yet when the day comes she’s completely silent and only the next day tells me she couldn’t come. A few days later we are texting and she asks offers to hang out on campus. I say yeah and I happen to run into her on campus. We say hi and she says that she’ll meet me outside after her class is over. Doesn’t meet me, texts me late in the day or next day she couldn’t make it because she had to meet with someone. We text and I ask if she wants to go to this park with me. She says yes and we plan it out. A day before I text her if she’s still coming and she says yes, yet now I’m sitting on the bench waiting and she’s a no show. I don’t understand?? We talk fine, she’s engaged in the conversation and I don’t know what’s up. She says shes sorry for this ghosting and that this is a problem she has ever since she was young and it strains her friendships.

Edit: she just texted me and told me she overslept and is coming

 

[Judge]

She says shes sorry for this ghosting and that this is a problem she has ever since she was young and it strains her friendships.

Unfortunately this isn't someone to pin your hopes on socially speaking. This is when you don't even want to ponder whether they are being sincere or not.

She'll just break your heart. Best to just move on.

How to Detect Flaky People: 8 Signs of an Unreliable Friend

 

[Outdated]

Once again I agree with Judge, although he worded things a little more politely than I was going to.

Wether or not she's doing it on purpose is irrelevant, no one deserves to be dicked around like that. My general rule:

First chance to do right by you is the first time you meet.
A second chance if they stuff up is fair.
Third chances only happen in fairy tales and I ain't no fairy.

 

[Forest Cat]

I'll just throw my two cents in here, since I have experienced the same thing. Some people are flaky. It's just the way they are. I like to be on time and keep appointments I have made and things like that, but many other people are very different. I think it sounds like your friend is the flaky type. And I have learned that if I want to have them in my life, I just have to keep in mind that they are flaky and they don't do things the way I do them. And if I bring it up or complain, they just get annoyed with me eventually. And I am in a way trying to change who they are if I do that.

So I think it depends on what you want. Can you accept that someone is flaky and will cancel things sometimes and oversleep and such? I think it's easier to accept when you accept that it is a part of their personality. They don't do it to be annoying or mean. Or maybe it's super annoying for you, then you might want to handle it differently. I don't know.