Friends drifting?

[Molly K.]

I thought my friends were people who understood my issues that I explained as best I could to them, but lately the few friends I actually have been able to keep have been blatantly dismissing me. I've essentially been replaced by non-Asperger's people. Should I just dismiss this as a teenage group mentality thing, or should I take into account that I've never kept friends very long and it's because of this??


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[Ereth]

Honestly, I don't necessarily think it has to do with your Asperger's. I don't know your "friends" well enough to say for certain, but it could just as easily come from the fact that teenagers are notoriously socially fickle.

The people who understand you aren't necessarily friends---the ones who understand you and accept you for you are what I would consider real friends.

 

[Sev]

When I first let people become of my condition at school, I went through a period of losing a number of 'friends'. While it was a painful at the time, there was one person who stayed around regardless. I would say that simply having that one person who wanted me as a friend made the entire process far more bearable. I would rather have a very few number of friends who accept me for who I am, then have a number of 'friends' who will walk out on me at any minute.

I can understand that It's difficult and possibly painful to lose friends for simply having the diagnosis, or for simply being you, but I think its something most of us (even NT's) have to deal with from time to time. The only advice/opinion I can give for this is to simply do your best to endure and to seek out people who like your personal quirks.

 

[Licorice]

Honestly, I don't necessarily think it has to do with your Asperger's. I don't know your "friends" well enough to say for certain, but it could just as easily come from the fact that teenagers are notoriously socially fickle.

The people who understand you aren't necessarily friends---the ones who understand you and accept you for you are what I would consider real friends.

I do remember this as being true. For people who make friends easily, it's natural to see many short-lived friendships with a few long-term ones and not a big deal.

 

[Sylar]

I think you're thinking too much into it, although I don't know your age, so it could be different.

I've only had 1 friend. We've been friends since we were 12. I'm not almost 23 and over the past 6 months or so we've been drifting apart, and I'm almost sure that I'm the one who has been drifting. We're different people now and sadly he's no longer the person I'd like to spend time with. People change, no matter what age, and younger people are constantly trying to discover who they are. Your Asperger's may hinder your ability to make friends but it shouldn't stop you from keeping them. If they understand who your are and your problems, they will put up with them, if not they weren't your friends.

Just don't forget that people change. The chances are it is nothing personal but they've become people who aren't right for you.