Frustrated with myself and my neurodivergence

[Dillon]

These last 1-2 weeks have just been daunting and frustrating. This is in regards to how I’m still trying to actually get a full time job while trying to stay emotionally stable and financially afloat. I had an interview two weeks ago with my states wildlife department and I thought it went great but I have never heard back from the people who have interviewed me since then, I got the ole spiel of “oh we will let you know one way or another about the outcome”. I’ve gotten that line repeatedly during my multiple failed interviews and all of them I’ve been rejected for.

I had an interview earlier in the day Friday for the cities health department (or I was suppose to have it). I was so nervous about it that my social anxiety got the best of me and I decided to let the hiring manager know I wanted to cancel the interview hours before my interview. I realized that was a mistake on my part and unprofessional to do but with the multiple interviews I have done, nothing is going to change.

Anytime I am in an interview I know what I want to say but I don’t know how to articulate verbally. I am unsure at times what the interviewer wants specifically so I just play it like guessing game. Also I’m sorry if I have a little bit of a speech impediment and this is something I also find I struggle with. How is anyone of the spectrum suppose to get a full time job if you don’t have “strong/effective communication”. Maybe if I wasn’t neurodiverse I wouldn’t be lacking the social skills and employers would actually see who I am and my worth. I tried going to a career fair at my University on Thursday and some of the employers I approached wouldn’t even talk to me but yet you rather talk to someone else who doesn’t seem “awkward”.

Because of my full time job search 5-6 months later after graduating college I am struggling badly to pay rent for my apartment, pay bills, and I barely have enough food; l’ve been skipping meals the last few days just to get by I didn’t even eat dinner tonight. I only have $100 left of income left until the end of this month and I only make $1200 a month substitute teaching and that is not feasible at all.

I haven’t received much help from anyone and I am more than afraid of what will happen by the end of this month when I can’t pay rent. I fear that day of living in my car will probably come eventually.
I personally believe if I wasn’t neurodivergent I wouldn’t even be in the situation I am in right now. I am starting to hate the way of who I am.

 

[Aspychata]

Hey l hear you. There was a lot of times l was struggling to get by. I lived off of little food, gave up my car, and dreamed about the day l could be okay, instead of fear-based. But truthfully, others are struggling just like you. You may need to up the ante and apply for something else, and still apply for those other jobs. Another option, advertise for a roommate maybe at your college or thru your friends. Rent is ridiculous in FL. I have seen a lot of young people move in to my 55+ community, they aren't even supposed to be here, but 2000+ rents are a game changer. Practice in front of a mirror, practice answering questions. When l am nervous at a job interview, sometimes l say, okay l am nervous, let me think about that. Okay, here is my answer.

 

[Sherlock77]

Keep in mind that there are several steps to getting a job... The interview is just the start, usually there are several suitable people after the job interview, and the company has to make a choice on someone, and it might not be you...

Basically job search is a process, and can sometimes take longer... I empathize with your financial situation in the meantime, and I'm not sure what to say about that...

Are there employment agencies you can tap into? I mean even for job search skills, some even specialize with people who have disabilities... Where I live there is a gov't agency like that, they won't give you a job but they can teach you job search skills

 

[chincey_james]

Sorry you are in such a tricky situation.

Remember that you don't have to be perfect in interviews. Just try to lay out the case why you have skills that might help the employer. Good employers are looking for usefulness, not perfection, so try not to be too hard on yourself. Easier said than done, I know, but it is advice that has served me well.

 

[Suzanne]

Let me "assure" you that those who are neurotypical also get refused many interviews.

The business has a critera set out and anyone not matching, despite their talent, will be ousted.

Is there not a society where you are, who helps with those on the spectrum to ease into work? I guess not, since you do not come across as without thinking.

What helps me ( not to search for work) when a situation comes up, which I desperately need another important figure to get me, is role play with myself. This worked well when I asked to be evaluated for ASD. I had guessed correctly his questions and was able to satisfy with my answer.

Not sure if you have done this, but what about finding out as much as you can, about the company you want to join? Not just the job itself. Because, even if you did end up getting the work, you might find yourself regretting it terribly, due to how you are treated.

What are their views on treating all equally?
Is there a feedback facility. Intranet?
Are they dedicated to doing a correct job; or are they sloppish?
Are they open minded about a worker having their own ideas?
Is speed more important than accuracy?
Do they allow time out, for anyone who gets anxious with too much work?

You see, if you can acheive those goals. First, you can know whether to persue the interview. Or know that it would be pointless, because they will not accept someone who is different.

Believe it or not, you might feel more productive, just by doing the research first.

Being neurodiverse is a nightmare, in the world of neurotyicals, which is why it is such a relief to come here and be able to breath for a while.

Lastly, I see the benefits for me, in being obsessed with Korean Dramas. It has taught me a lot about how businesses run lol

 

[Progster]

In a job interview situation, there might be a number of candidates with very similar qualifications and backgrounds, on paper equally qualified and suitable for the job. So how does the interviewer make a decision as to which candidate gets the position? It's often down to gut feeling on the part of the interviewer, and that might mean that they pick up on subtle body language, inflections of the voice and other non-verbal communication. Which unfortunately puts people on the spectrum at a significant disadvantage.

I wonder if it's possible to get coaching for that kind of thing? That might be expensive, but worth it if you want to increase your chances of landing a job.

 

[Neonatal RRT]

Job interviews: It's mostly acting. If you go onto YouTube there are helpful videos on how to interview well. They will tell you all the key "trigger" words that employers like, how to project confidence, the types of body language you will need, etc.

I think sometimes we, as autistics, have such a desire for honesty, that we tend to overshare or say things about situations or how we feel that, in some circumstances, it backfires. Employers want positivity, even if your situation is a total dumpster fire. They don't want to hear about your limitations or difficulties, but rather all of your assets. They don't want to hear about how you NEED this job, they want to know how you are going to help the company improve. You catch my drift?

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

A lot of use have strengths, others do not have I like real life puzzles so during an interview would describe how I
would fix their issues. I did it before if you hire me, I will do it again. It worked for me as I built a reputation.
Your starting out so find your strengths, list them, put them in your resume emphasize then in the interview. Have confidence that you can do it I told one company by the end of the year their client Ford Assembly plant would be the top among their other clients using their product 18 other assembly. plants some known for quality product,
Japanese. And a year later after they hired me they were stunned. I did as I said. First day on job I knew core issues.
just used my special skills and education with a plan of action. Easy.

 

[The Pandector]

At least back when, an interviewer would get what they wanted and then ask if you have any questions. If you get the question, your answer could land you the job. So much so, it may be wise to ask questions even if they aren’t invited.

It’s good to hear their personnel policy responses, but I’d be cautious about too much of that. Know their product line; ask interested questions. Does the Puff-a-Doof line have an update coming, or does the company have a new product in mind? How will the company respond to Ajax Widget’s newest offering? IOW, make clear you are also respectfully questioning their suitability, as well. Since most interviewees take the offer to answer questions to be a politeness, it will stick in their mind that this slightly odd person had clearly investigated their company. Businesses thirst for involved employees with minds of their own.

 

[Lightswitch411]

If I interview, I am very likely to get the job.
After a while, I find out why I got the job.
[most of these jobs were part-time or seasonal...in addition to my freelance/professional work]
The things I've been told boil down to

- "empathy for the difficulties of hiring someone". I start off by saying, "I hope you're hanging in there, okay. I know this hiring process is no more fun for you than it is for me."[smile]. Then I ask, "So when do you hope to have this position filled?" This sets them up to do most of the talking while I stare at the bridge of their nose, or eyebrows, with a smile, nodding every time they take a pause.

- "honesty" (I don't come across as an overly confident 'car salesman type'. I'm not "slick" or have "perfect answers" so pretending they're my next door neighbour I'm talking to is pretty easy,

- "sincerity for wanting the job" I end every interview by saying, "I know it's natural and common for an interviewer to look for reason *not* to hire someone. I suspect you may have found a few in me. I'm not great at making a good first impression but the frequency with which I've been promoted at my past jobs would attest that I make good impressions once people get to know me." Oddly, I've been told I *do* make a good first impression. They just read this as being "humble but confident". okaaay?

I hope something in this helps you find your own angle/approach to try.