General malcontent

[Metalhead]

I am at a point in my life where I feel a genuine lack of contentedness. A lack of pleasure, of enthusiasm. Also a lack of intense pain. I basically feel spiritually and emotionally numb. I want to feel something. Anything. To break out of this.

No alcohol or weed for me these days.

My life has become a hamster wheel. I keep spinning, but I am going nowhere interesting.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

If booze and pot were a big deal to you for a while and then you stopped, that's what's going on. It will fade after a while, the color will come back into the world, dont worry.
That's one of the reasons I suggested the bicycle to you. This is a proven fact: depression is CURED by exercise. Bikes are a cheap and easy way to get started. It's really fun. Headphones. Snacks and water. Wander around. Get in shape well enough to carry 30lbs for six hours over rough terrain. Then go hiking.....

 

[BrokenBoy]

Go to the gym and run on a treadmill. I burned 400 calories today.

 

[Metalhead]

If booze and pot were a big deal to you for a while and then you stopped, that's what's going on. It will fade after a while, the color will come back into the world, dont worry.
That's one of the reasons I suggested the bicycle to you. This is a proven fact: depression is CURED by exercise. Bikes are a cheap and easy way to get started. It's really fun. Headphones. Snacks and water. Wander around. Get in shape well enough to carry 30lbs for six hours over rough terrain. Then go hiking.....

Overindulgence in beer and weed was a large part of my life. I don’t feel normal now. I probably should buy myself that bike soon.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Apparently the grey feeling is totally normal for the first forty days or so after quitting all that. One way to think of recovery is displacement. We keep adding activity to life and it pushes out other things.
Right after the divorce in 2009, I lived in a studio apt right down the street from a corner store. I got up to about 50 tall cans of beer a week. All I did was stay loaded and play online. Lotsa porn. Terrible diet, no exercise. I got up to 240lbs and size 48 pants. I was so sick. It made the depression much worse

 

[Metalhead]

Apparently the grey feeling is totally normal for the first forty days or so after quitting all that. One way to think of recovery is displacement. We keep adding activity to life and it pushes out other things.
Right after the divorce in 2009, I lived in a studio apt right down the street from a corner store. I got up to about 50 tall cans of beer a week. All I did was stay loaded and play online. Lotsa porn. Terrible diet, no exercise. I got up to 240lbs and size 48 pants. I was so sick. It made the depression much worse

I managed to reduce my life down to work, substances, electronics and sleep, and I know my body is very much in an unhealthy state right now. I used to go to the gym before COVID happened, as well as many trips to the cinemas and many face to face 12 step meetings. I can’t blame COVID for all of my poor life decisions though.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Yes you can too! It's really hard to be a self starter and some places aren't safe to go wandering around in. I live on the edge of the forest, there are bears and cougars badgers skunks and snakes. Lots and lots of snakes.
I understand all that, I am at home in the wilderness. Cities terrify me. My favorite stretch of bike trail is now a bum ranch with addict zombies walking around and trash everywhere
Be careful of your feet! I am going to buy new insoles this week they are like 20 a pair, which is alot for me, but I know I need them. I usually go to a wealthy suburb where it's safe to walk around. I love walking. Riding too. It's new and it's not sedentary. I want to be healthier
Can you afford decent walking shoes?
I used to take the bus alot too, when I lived in town. Park at the post office(federal property drug addicts avoid it) catch the bus right there and then go wander around somewhere nice for a while.
Next I need to get headphones for the phone and learn how audible works. The bike is nearly done! It's a Frankenstein I'm building out of old parts and a garage sale frame

 

[DK’s_Ghost]

Overindulgence in beer and weed was a large part of my life. I don’t feel normal now. I probably should buy myself that bike soon.

i second they bike recommendation. I’ve been getting help from someone, via work, who has been supporting me to sort out how to live with my funny brain quirks.

One of the things that has come up is a reiteration of how important to my equilibrium cycling is. It gives proprioceptive feedback - a clear sense of how my body moves in relation to itself. My experience of it is that it is grounding and mood-elevating. It helps me think clearer and gives me time to process information. It connects me with the movement of my body and my physical capabilities. It makes my brain happy and reduces the intensity of my reactions to sensory stimuli (I’ve an annoying level of sensory processing disorder).

I started cycling every morning, since discovered this. It has been very therapeutic.

Don’t know if it will have the same effect on you - but it’s worth trying, isn’t it?

 

[Metalhead]

Thanks, I will buy a bike in the near future. For now, I am just biding time waiting for the corner store to shut down for the night so that buying beer there will not be an option. I really want a few drinks in me. I hate to admit this, but I just might be an alcoholic at this point.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

That's the first step to learning to be well, admitting that there is a problem. I still struggle with it too. It helps me to rise very early, then I don't want anything but my bed at 9.
I love the pre dawn. It's beautiful. Oh and start singing too. It changes your brainwaves.

 

[Metalhead]

That's the first step to learning to be well, admitting that there is a problem. I still struggle with it too. It helps me to rise very early, then I don't want anything but my bed at 9.
I love the pre dawn. It's beautiful. Oh and start singing too. It changes your brainwaves.

Yeah, right now my body is telling me that only beer will help me now. That is a sure sign that I should quit drinking for good. I will sit with this unpleasantness for tonight. It will pass. Eventually.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Go to the gym and run on a treadmill. I burned 400 calories today.

That's fantastic, I never tried one of those, sounds fun

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Yeah, right now my body is telling me that only beer will help me now. That is a sure sign that I should quit drinking for good. I will sit with this unpleasantness for tonight. It will pass. Eventually.

Recovery is an active process Len. It's not about quitting anything, but rather pushing it back into remission. That's why displacement works. Fill up your life with anything, maybe something sort or childish? Model making, history, exercise, crafts,
Whatever you can desire
I think I need to go to meetings myself.

 

[Skittlebisquit]

Do you have any books laying around? Or how about a little bit of wikipedia's time, find an article you are interested in and read aloud for a few minutes, like you were giving a speech. That will change your head a little. I do it to practice speaking all the time

 

[Metalhead]

Do you have any books laying around? Or how about a little bit of wikipedia's time, find an article you are interested in and read aloud for a few minutes, like you were giving a speech. That will change your head a little. I do it to practice speaking all the time

Not a bad idea. I have quite a few unread books on my bookshelf. And loitering around on the Internet is not acting as enough of a distraction right now.

 

[DK’s_Ghost]

Not a bad idea. I have quite a few unread books on my bookshelf. And loitering around on the Internet is not acting as enough of a distraction right now.

Good plan.

Maybe you should come back here if you get tempted again? We’ll prod you in the right direction.

 

[Aspychata]

I need some foolishness in my life to stop and l still have to deal daily with it. I use whatever- exercise and so on to deal with it. But my friend just told me l completely changed and that is postitive reinforcement. Maybe try finding a friend as a support system?

 

[OkRad]

Study sociology. Often we think it is just us, but our mental landscape is formed by social pressures. Try Durkheim.

 

[Judge]

Midlife Crisis? Something to consider....

What Really Happens During a Midlife Crisis?

 

[Metalhead]

I am at the office currently, taking my ten-minute break of the day, and I have to admit that I really am tempted to go to the mini-mart on the way home and buy something alcoholic for the evening. Better to talk about it here than to actually do it, I suppose. I probably could go to a real grocery store on the way home and buy some ice cold Perrier instead. Or I could skip the stores altogether and go straight home from work, and sip coffee all evening long since I don't have to go to the office tomorrow.