Yes, emotions like this are horrible and so really get what you mean. Been there myself.
As unhelpful as it sounds, time and lack of contact is what will get you through this. Especially if you have just gone over the threshold of being in love, then you can actually get past it fairly fast; however, if you have falled so deep, then it is going to take a lot longer.
she said she didn't know how she felt and wasn't good with that sort of stuff, she became very aloof and eventually just ended it and we never speak anymore.
How long as this been since you last chatted? Has she also got aspergers, since she says she is not good at this sort of thing?
I would say, that it is not conclusive that things are negative, but well, if you met on a dating sight, then sadly, perhaps in her own way, she was saying that she did not know how to say she does not feel the same way?
I talk from experience and it was when I stopped dreaming about him, that I realised I had stopped loving him, but heck, it took well over 10 year's to achieve that and then, the test came. I had often daydreamed about what would happen if I ever bumped into him and imagined I would feel a tug in my heart, but it would disappear.
Well, just this year, after close to 30 years, he contacts me via facebook. It completely threw me off kilter and even more so, the fact that he remembered EVERYTHING ABOUT ME. I tried to not communicate with him, but I was in such a surreal place, it was like I had to. I ended up seeing how he used to be in my mind's eye and could not get the "now" him, to meet the "then" him.
What was a vast relief to me, was that I saw a picture of him, with his daughter and new born ( couldn't get my head around that one), but did not see any photos of the woman he lives with, which I thought was curious. Anyway, I recognised him in this picture and felt NOTHING; in fact it was more: wow, I thought he was the most beautiful boy ( because we were 18 at the time of meeting), I have ever seen. That is what love obviously does to you lol It felt great to not be in love with him anymore. But, sadly, he wanted to talk about our past and I had a feeling he was, once again, playing mind games with me. He neither said that he had loved me or that he hadn't and that was frustrating. I, however, felt so, well, I am not sure how to explain it, other than: a relief to get it all out of my system with how I used to feel and all he said was: they were crazy times!
He claimed that he had told his girlfriend about me and that she was ok with us chatting. This was because I said I felt uncomfortable about it. He then said that now he has found me, he doesn't want to lose me and even that, at least we know where to contact each other, if we ever need each other. Wow, lol
I ended up telling him that it was no good. There can not even be a friendship between us, because as much as I liked the notion that now I do not love him, I can concentrate on friends; I knew, in my heart it could not be, because of the intensity of my feelings back then.
Thankfully and sadly lol he paid heed and has not contacted me again.
Back to you: love does not have to be life long!
