• Welcome to Autism Forums, a friendly forum to discuss Aspergers Syndrome, Autism, High Functioning Autism and related conditions.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Private Member only forums for more serious discussions that you may wish to not have guests or search engines access to.
    • Your very own blog. Write about anything you like on your own individual blog.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon! Please also check us out @ https://www.twitter.com/aspiescentral

Getting "vibes" from people

sisselcakes

sisselcakes

Well-Known Member
V.I.P Member
Hi everyone.

I am an NT and my boyfriend is 50 years old and has many ASD traits. He agrees this is the case but doesn't want to seek formal diagnosis because at this point it's not gonna really serve him in any way.

We met online and the first time we met in person everything went fine. I found him to be a great conversationalist and very intelligent which I love. I noticed early on he has a certain edge which came across to me as arrogance. I'm actually kind of attracted to people who are somewhat arrogant but not in the extreme.

Anyway, that isn't really the point I want to make here When I got to know him a little better, he made a comment to the effect that he could tell right away I was trustworthy I asked him how he could tell that. And he said he didn't know, he can just tell that about people. So I asked how quickly he was able to determine that. He answered it was about the first 30 seconds I'm a very perceptive person and maybe I would be capable of that. But I'm not sure. He said he could tell right away I would be somebody that wouldn't cheat on him and that I was honest.

The reason I found this surprising, is I assumed having that ability would come from somebody who has exceptional ability to read facial expressions and cues, yet believe me, I've seen that's not the case on many occasions!

I heard Dr. Tony Atwood speak once and he mentioned that many people on the spectrum are highly sensitive to, for lack of a better word, "the energy" of another person or an environment.

Does anyone else find they've has this natural ability? If so, do you think it's something you were born with or do you think it's something learned after having challenges with social interaction over many years ?

My niece started dating somebody who we hadn't met but there seem to be some red flags. My boyfriend told me to let him meet the guy, as he would be able to tell very quickly if the guy was "a good guy" or not. We did end up meeting the guy and we all agreed that he was a decent person. The red flags seem to of been of no major concern.

Do those of you that have been diagnosed with AS or on the spectrum find this as been true for you as well?
 
I do seem to have that similar trait of that similar of your boyfriends. Personally I find that with someone I know it's easier to pick up their body Language and their facial expressions. I hope that may help some. If you ask more specific questions It maybe easier to for me to give you more specific answers. Because I'm simply a literal minded person.



sisselcakes said:
Hi everyone.

I am an NT and my boyfriend is 50 years old and has many ASD traits. He agrees this is the case but doesn't want to seek formal diagnosis because at this point it's not gonna really serve him in any way.

We met online and the first time we met in person everything went fine. I found him to be a great conversationalist and very intelligent which I love. I noticed early on he has a certain edge which came across to me as arrogance. I'm actually kind of attracted to people who are somewhat arrogant but not in the extreme.

Anyway, that isn't really the point I want to make here When I got to know him a little better, he made a comment to the effect that he could tell right away I was trustworthy I asked him how he could tell that. And he said he didn't know, he can just tell that about people. So I asked how quickly he was able to determine that. He answered it was about the first 30 seconds I'm a very perceptive person and maybe I would be capable of that. But I'm not sure. He said he could tell right away I would be somebody that wouldn't cheat on him and that I was honest.

The reason I found this surprising, is I assumed having that ability would come from somebody who has exceptional ability to read facial expressions and cues, yet believe me, I've seen that's not the case on many occasions!

I heard Dr. Tony Atwood speak once and he mentioned that many people on the spectrum are highly sensitive to, for lack of a better word, "the energy" of another person or an environment.

Does anyone else find they've has this natural ability? If so, do you think it's something you were born with or do you think it's something learned after having challenges with social interaction over many years ?

My niece started dating somebody who we hadn't met but there seem to be some red flags. My boyfriend told me to let him meet the guy, as he would be able to tell very quickly if the guy was "a good guy" or not. We did end up meeting the guy and we all agreed that he was a decent person. The red flags seem to of been of no major concern.

Do those of you that have been diagnosed with AS or on the spectrum find this as been true for you as well?
Click to expand...
 
Well, I always get an initial vibe from people that I am meeting for the first time, but often I don't process it right away. But when I learned to pay attention, I began to realize that many people are very good at putting on a facade that can be very misleading. And if I didn't give close attention to the vibe I was picking up from the very first, I would end up in a bad relationship, or a bad friendship, or whatever. It took me a long time to trust that the vibe was far more accurate than trying in vain to understand facial expressions or non verbal signals. Sometimes it would be a color, or a very subtle smell that I would find either distasteful, or appealing. Hope that helps!
 
garnetflower13 said:
Well, I always get an initial vibe from people that I am meeting for the first time, but often I don't process it right away. But when I learned to pay attention, I began to realize that many people are very good at putting on a facade that can be very misleading. And if I didn't give close attention to the vibe I was picking up from the very first, I would end up in a bad relationship, or a bad friendship, or whatever. It took me a long time to trust that the vibe was far more accurate than trying in vain to understand facial expressions or non verbal signals. Sometimes it would be a color, or a very subtle smell that I would find either distasteful, or appealing. Hope that helps!
Click to expand...

Me too. Growing up, I was very surprised people took the "mask" people wore at face value, when I could so easily see under it.

Apparently my skill at social situations started with me studying these discrepancies as a Special Interest. I became a student of body language, micro-expressions, voice tones: all long before these became recognized fields of study.

Probably the only difference is that Aspies pay attention, while NT's just ride with the flow. I once read a book by Dr. Oliver Sacks about various brain injuries. He was once in charge of a room full of people with aphasia: people who had lost their ability to speak. So they had become adept at picking up other signals.

He said that when a speech by Ronald Reagan came on, the whole room lit up with sarcastic hoots and hollers. The man was lying with practically every word; but a huge chunk of the US population never figured that out :)
 
Can't explain it but yes, for your inquiry, I got it. I pick up peoples vibes superfast and intensely. Also I find almost no cases of people being inscrutable.
 
WereBear said:
Me too. Growing up, I was very surprised people took the "mask" people wore at face value, when I could so easily see under it.

Apparently my skill at social situations started with me studying these discrepancies as a Special Interest. I became a student of body language, micro-expressions, voice tones: all long before these became recognized fields of study.

Probably the only difference is that Aspies pay attention, while NT's just ride with the flow. I once read a book by Dr. Oliver Sacks about various brain injuries. He was once in charge of a room full of people with aphasia: people who had lost their ability to speak. So they had become adept at picking up other signals.

He said that when a speech by Ronald Reagan came on, the whole room lit up with sarcastic hoots and hollers. The man was lying with practically every word; but a huge chunk of the US population never figured that out :)
Click to expand...
I have that book. I should look at it again. The brain is fascinating.
 
Yep, I have that too. I didn't realize I wasn't able to read body language until later in life, when the vibes i was picking up and the actual actions of the person just didn't match up quite right. Now I've learned to pay better attention to the vibes. What's really interesting, though, is my ability to read energy comes in very handy when dealing with my dogs. I can tell by the energy whether or not my dogs are play-rough-housing, or serious about an altercation. It also helps when meeting new dogs. I pick up on the energy of the dog and know instantly whether its friendly, playful, aloof, or guarded. With people I usually read the energy of emotions long before I pick up the visual cues about such things.
 
Ronin82 said:
I pick up on the energy of the dog and know instantly whether its friendly, playful, aloof, or guarded. With people I usually read the energy of emotions long before I pick up the visual cues about such things.
Click to expand...
I do this with my cat, a lot. I used to live in this one apartment complex that had a rather unstable manager who liked to snoop in people's apartments when they were out. I could tell if someone had been in my place by watching my cat's behavior when I returned. Once I found proof that this person had entered my apartment, and I reported her. She was flabbergasted that I knew!
 
garnetflower13 said:
I do this with my cat, a lot. I used to live in this one apartment complex that had a rather unstable manager who liked to snoop in people's apartments when they were out. I could tell if someone had been in my place by watching my cat's behavior when I returned. Once I found proof that this person had entered my apartment, and I reported her. She was flabbergasted that I knew!
Click to expand...

Recently I told my wife she had pulled up to the house in her car, and then pulled out again and gone down the gravel road to the community garden plots - even though I had seen or heard nothing of it. She asked how I knew and I told her it was all in how (tone'frequency) the dogs were barking and that they all looked in the direction she had gone when I brought them outside. :D
 
garnetflower13 said:
I do this with my cat, a lot. I used to live in this one apartment complex that had a rather unstable manager who liked to snoop in people's apartments when they were out. I could tell if someone had been in my place by watching my cat's behavior when I returned. Once I found proof that this person had entered my apartment, and I reported her. She was flabbergasted that I knew!
Click to expand...
Maybe animals are easier because their behavior isn't riddled with so many "rules" and exceptions to those rules. Also, it does seem as though some people on the spectrum have a strongly developed sense of these things, at least from what I'm reading and from what Dr. Atwood said.
 
Do you all find it true that you can pick up on a vibe in the environment? For example, can you sense if there is a negative energy in a place where people are congregated? My boyfriend says he is able to feel things in certain buildings. Some NTs claim the same. Maybe some people in general, regardless of whether on the spectrum or not, just have an innate ability.
 
I get vibes off places, but it is very different and unrelated to people. I do not believe for instance that a building or place can pick up some vibe from what people have done there, like become haunted, etc.

I believe the vibes in places do not actually exsist of themselves. They are something more like my own feelings, my imagination and how the environment works and molds them.
 
I get vibes from buildings. Unfortunately, my husband did not believe me when I said that I had bad vibes about a house we were thinking of purchasing. Then I thought that maybe the bad vibes would dissipate if we moved in, so we bought the house. I could write a book about the misfortunes that befell us from living there for over two years before we were able to sell it and move out! He says that he will definitely listen, the next time I say a place makes me feel funny, LOL.
 
sisselcakes said:
Do you all find it true that you can pick up on a vibe in the environment? For example, can you sense if there is a negative energy in a place where people are congregated?
Click to expand...

Well, some of us have such abilities. However I don't see it as being especially related to the spectrum of autism. I can sense negativity in empty rooms once occupied by either a negative person or someone who lived under very unfortunate circumstances. How long ago can be anywhere from a decade to a century or more.

Where I just feel suddenly "weighed down" as if there was pressure on my mind and body. A "sick" feeling where I begin to feel my body's energy simply drain, forcing me to sit or lie down for a bit. Hard to explain...it's just weird how I can be drawn to a space I've never seen or heard about...sensing something negative occurred there which taxes my own energy level when in close proximity of it.
 
Last edited:
We don't question seeing stars at night, even though what we are seeing is very far off and happened a long time ago. That is because we understand how it all works.

So I keep an open mind about haunted places, and ghosts, and the like, because so many people have confided strange happenings to me, and I've had a few things like that happen to me.

Also, I agree that some people are just not sensitive to such. I've known instances where people bought a house where a family had lived quietly for decades. Only when the new family moved in did things start to happen. And they are not necessarily bad things; simply inexplicable things. According to what we recognize as science, now.

A few hundred years ago, I'd be burned at the stake for heating something up in the microwave, wouldn't I?
 
Yeah, I definitely read the energy of locations as well. I attribute that to spiritual attunement, because I do believe in a dimension beyond this one that manifests as "energy". I think that events in history leave an "energy" footprint in certain locations. I joke about the feng shui being bad in offices or houses, but really I'm picking up on things like furniture placement, lighting, paint colors, odors, and the general atmosphere of a place. Also, if there is a bad history in a location, I can usually pick up on that too. I always thought I was one of those Highly Sensitive Persons, until I learned I'm actually on the spectrum...

My best friend is an anthropologist and amateur ghost hunter. She's seen things on some of her expeditions that have no logical explanation. She also has several strong Aspie traits, for a female.
 
I get "vibes" from people and places, and I can't put words to what I'm experiencing or justify those perceptions from concrete evidence. Problem is, I tend to interpret the information I'm detecting through the filters of my own past experiences with people, especially with my family of origin.

It helps that I'm aware of this bias now, and it's been fascinating to see how my interpretations of this vibrational energy are changing now that I have some very different relational experiences and understandings of how the social world works compared to a few years ago. It's like taking off tinted glasses and seeing real colors for the first time, but it's all invisible vibrational energy instead of physical colors (which are technically vibrational energy, too, but visible).
 
It took me an extra long time to sense whether or not a person had good or bad intentions. I used to be extremely gullible and too trusting of people because I didn't want to believe that humans could be capable of aiming to hurt me. I guess I thought life was going to be full of rainbows and cotton candy. When I was a young girl, my goal in life was having the "Brady Bunch" life. But, I have learned many valuable lessons about discernment and am now extremely adept at picking up vibes. I am cautious and on my guard. As for locations....oh yeah, very in tune with my surroundings.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

New Threads

Top Bottom