RANT
Some of aspects of my life and self may seem appealing to others by the end product, but these gifts others continuously borrow are born out of my suffering. Are problems that spent years to fix, and they just walk in and borrow my gift of suffering.
Now that I've reached that space in my life, (not really succesful but I'm together) I'm heartless at the cost of me getting my life together, eventually getting jobs when I didn't really care anymore. Why does life break our spirits this way? Is it bcause NT world?
Then the others who broadcast their empty shallow world for everyone to see, as if it's an achievement, as if to say hey look at me, I stole your soul.
Any thought to contribute to cheer me up, I'm getting synical about this.
I’m not certain I understand your RANT, but if I do, then I definitely can relate. In fact, I feel I could write a book on the subject. Gift of Suffering is basically the theme of my life, though I never really had a label for it until I saw your post. Thank you for that.
Cheering you up… Pretty much all successes, regardless of subject, is the fruit of some form of suffering. I don’t mean to diminish your point, because doing so would be to diminish mine as well. What I do mean is that your success is even more significant, and something to be proud of, because the suffering it took to achieve it was tremendous. While it is disappointing and upsetting that others steal your successes, you know where that success came from. Even if the thief claims credit for the success, you still know they are a thief, and will spread lies about more than what they stole from you. Knowing that in your heart is something to be proud of. You know that success is yours. Thieves are known to steal anything. The reality is that it’s not a reflection on you except that what they stole from you is valuable enough to steal. Even if it is not publicly known they are a thief, you know and can be proud of your success.
The following is a somewhat brief description of my story, just to clarify if I actually understand your point…
I was born with an extreme obsession with electronic circuits. Thus, I have been passionately studying electronics theory, and the physics involved since single-digit years to the present. I was obsessed with becoming an electronics design engineer. However, due to my crippling autistic social anxiety, I could not tolerate school or college. So, a degree was not an option for me. It was very depressing to realize that my dream career was not possible. However, the obsession remained. I studied, I collected old radios, TV, etc. from the trash behind a TV repair shop. I took them apart and experimented with the parts. I studied electronics engineering text books in the university library – cover to cover. Did all the labs. No curriculum, just every page of every book.
As a teenager I pulled a new TV out of the trash behind a department store. I fixed it and took it to the store manager and told him I found it in the trash and fixed it. He tried it out and hired me to do more. That was the start of my technician jobs. From that, I got jobs in HiFi repair shops, copy machine repair shops, and many others. Eventually, I was hired at a contract electronics design firm to assemble design prototypes for the engineers. I knew that a prototype was a proof-of-concept the engineers would use to test their designs and make changes to perfect the designs. Each design typically took about eight or more prototypes to get it right.
Due to my very weak autistic social skills, I would pencil in edits to the designs and show it to the engineers and tell them it would work much better that way. All of the engineers possessed esteemed degrees from esteemed colleges and were all very proud about that. A measly technician telling them how to design was taken as an insult. I was on the ragged edge of being fired. Except they discovered I was right. This continued for a few months. The engineers started bringing their designs to me, privately, for my advice, then took credit for the design. This dropped the number of prototypes per design down to typically one. This got the company owners attention. By then, the engineers were a lot more friendly. I was then promoted to design engineer. A year later I was promoted to senior electronics design engineer.
Most of the new engineers were angry that I was given that title without a degree. They thought it was unfair that they had to study and pay tuition – lots of tuition – to obtain their degree and I got the title without any of that. However, they do not know how it was not easy for me. They did not know that I spent far more hours studying than they did. My studies were not limited to a curriculum; I studied everything, not by assignment, but by obsession. They were often angry that the boss would tell them to come ask me when they went to him with a difficult design.
So, even though most of my career was a long stream of my successes being “stolen” by others who took credit for it, I still (much to my disbelief) am proud that it all resulted in achieving my life’s dream of becoming an electronics design engineer.
I would just say that even thought your successes are routinely stolen; don’t dismay. Just keep on keeping on and you will end up winning – with the win being totally and undeniably yours.
After all that, I do hope that I got your point correctly and I’m not way out in left field!!
