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Good Morning ... (or evening depending where you live)

Rolling Panda Art

Well-Known Member
My name on here is Rolling Panda. My RL name is Joey. I go Rolling Panda Art on my second Face book account and my Deviant Art account. But I got the nick name from someone I used t respect at my BJJ gym.

A lot of things have been happening in my life as of late.

Severe Depression followed by anxiety and obsessions.

I went to group Health and have been under the care of a Psychiatrist, Psychologist, and therapist. I have recovered from the severe depression (and no I do not mind talking about it) and I have tried to commit suicide in the past. So I guess that makes me forever vulnerable.

At the moment I am focusing on coping strategies and improving my life and work and the social life of which is kinda nonexistent.

I have friends all the time ask me to do things but I have no idea why I choose not to go. After a while many stop asking. Not sure if this is what I prefer. I spent my last birthday and Thanksgiving alone. I intend on visiting my mother's for Christmas .. but mostly because it is expected of me to validate that I am a good child.

My psychologist has labeled me as a very "resilient and creative" aspie. I am older. 40. and over the years have taught myself so many tricks to make me appear normal. I blend in with so many crowds and am able to go places and not stick out .. until I carry a conversation. I have had a lot of help improving myself growing up. I have learned many tricks over the years dealing with something I never understood. I have been called named. I have been misdiagnosed by people in my life and even my X wife thinks I am a socio path ... even though my eldest son (10) is Aspie too. He has way more symptoms. I do not know if I had those symptoms or if I have just out grew them.

I work in surgery. my hobbies are Brazilian Jujitsu, and digital artwork.

Which is convenient because my obsessions are human anatomy, and surgical videos. Chess, Brazilian Jujitsu (Chess with the body) and teaching myself Photoshop.

Everyone thinks different thinks of me because I mimic. but when I am alone I can be me and not feel threatened or judged. I spend a lot of time watching videos of the three topics listed above.

I speak English (well I call it an American Sarcastic Dialect) and get into trouble both at home and in my work environment for saying things sarcastic and not realize I was implying something. I will do my best to insure it doesn't come thru in my chatting here.

But My life is an open book for anyone genuine. I have other diagnosis but really they are just subsets of being an Aspie.

I hope that I can learn more about myself on this forum and maybe even find some people who have similar life experiences where I can learn from to correct myself.


Have a good weekend!
 

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