Got diagnosed today

[icesyckel]

After multiple appointments and speaking to multiple docs, and after a battery of bizarre tests, I was told that I have Asperger's/ASD depending on the DSM manual used. The doc I met with today seemed concerned about my reaction. He assumed I would take it badly, and maybe I should? He kept asking if I was okay and reminding me that there was nothing "wrong" with me (to the point where it felt like there clearly was).

Thing is, though, I don't really know how I feel about it or should feel about it. I would guess most people were younger than me when they were diagnosed. I am 33. I don't really feel different today than yesterday. I don't really much feel anything about it except perhaps clarity. It is more academic than anything. I was always weird, and now there is a name for it. That much is nice - maybe even a little calming. I like having answers a lot. Unanswered questions really stress me out, and this Dx answers quite a few previously unanswered questions.

So, anyone know what the "normal" reaction is when you get told you're an "Aspie?" The last thing the doc asked before I left was whether I was sure I didn't feel like hurting myself or others. Is THAT the normal reaction? Truth is, the first thing that hit me after he stopped talking to me was how much I wanted some Chinese food.

 

[2aspirin]

Hi and welcome. I was diagnosed in the late 90s in my 20s. My reaction was possibly denial, either that or the neuropsychiatrist and neuropsychologist could have been even more direct and blunt. They immediately jumped into a kind of narrative that I do believe confused me. "When people with Asperger's had these kinds of problems as kids and present with sensory integration problems, executive function, etc etc...." I really believed that this was just some fine analogy to my case. Not MY situation. I then did the RAADS test more recently and have been seeing a psychologist whose practice specializes in autism. I have gotten to acceptance. I fit the mold quite exactly. I am just this variety of human and am on a proverbial path to trying to be "autastic(!)" and thrive. Now my diagnostic paperwork is coded for ASD. I feel like a very mentally and emotionally sound person with some strong wiring differences that impede communication.

 

[Ereth]

I would guess most people were younger than me when they were diagnosed. I am 33. I don't really feel different today than yesterday. I don't really much feel anything about it except perhaps clarity. It is more academic than anything. I was always weird, and now there is a name for it. That much is nice - maybe even a little calming. I like having answers a lot. Unanswered questions really stress me out, and this Dx answers quite a few previously unanswered questions.

When I found out about my ASD a few years ago, I really didn't feel any different, and I still don't. But I felt some degree of shock because so many things I did not understand about my childhood and teenage years began to make sense.

 

[artfull dodger]

I got my diagnosis just over 7 months ago, just before I turned 41. It took me the last 6 months to completely come to terms with it. But the day I got the diagnosis I actualy felt a bit relieved that I could put a name to what I have tried to cope and deal with since I was a child. Took me those 6 months to come to terms and start researching it and with the help of my theripst that I see have come to cope with my AS in a much more healthy manor. It has also helped my marriage as my wife now understands that I act certain ways for a reason and not just cause I am an ass. Mike

 

[Mattymatt]

After multiple appointments and speaking to multiple docs, and after a battery of bizarre tests, I was told that I have Asperger's/ASD depending on the DSM manual used. The doc I met with today seemed concerned about my reaction. He assumed I would take it badly, and maybe I should? He kept asking if I was okay and reminding me that there was nothing "wrong" with me (to the point where it felt like there clearly was).

Thing is, though, I don't really know how I feel about it or should feel about it. I would guess most people were younger than me when they were diagnosed. I am 33. I don't really feel different today than yesterday. I don't really much feel anything about it except perhaps clarity. It is more academic than anything. I was always weird, and now there is a name for it. That much is nice - maybe even a little calming. I like having answers a lot. Unanswered questions really stress me out, and this Dx answers quite a few previously unanswered questions.

So, anyone know what the "normal" reaction is when you get told you're an "Aspie?" The last thing the doc asked before I left was whether I was sure I didn't feel like hurting myself or others. Is THAT the normal reaction? Truth is, the first thing that hit me after he stopped talking to me was how much I wanted some Chinese food.

Welcome! I wouldn't say there is any way that you "should feel" other than you should feel free to react in your own way. I ran the gamut of relief to sadness to acceptance. Go with the flow. Remember, you are still the same person you were when you woke up. The only thing that changed is that you gained some insight.

 

[Jimmy Rhys]

Honesty, when I was diagnosed I didn't feel anything. In fact I felt a little relieved that I had something to work with finally. The unanswered questions where all I had left to find. It has been a long road but I think I am almost to a point where I feel comfortable. So I completely understand what you mean. People say not to "label" yourself but I don't think it is a negative thing, it's a part of me and something I can use as a foundation for building a stable happy functioning life on. Medications, nutrition, exercise and learning how my mind and body works has changed my life. But I am not done yet.

 

[Mattymatt]

If you use the diagnosis as a crutch and an excuse for not bettering yourself, it becomes a label. I have my bad days but I refuse to give up completely.

 

[Jimmy Rhys]

If you use the diagnosis as a crutch and an excuse for not bettering yourself, it becomes a label. I have my bad days but I refuse to give up completely.

I could not agree more! Receiving a diagnosis should be the starting line for bettering a persons over all happiness and quality of life if not already at its prime.

 

[Mattymatt]

I could not agree more! Receiving a diagnosis should be the starting line for bettering a persons over all happiness and quality of life if not already at its prime.

Exactly! The diagnosis provides a plan of action and sought after answers. It is actually easier to write this than it is to put it into practice. In practice, emotions can weigh heavy. It is also honestly okay to flounder for a while and it's okay to take time to come to grips with everything. I think it's important though to accept and then come up with some action items. Ultimately having the action items and completing them goes a long way toward feeling better.

 

[Vanilla]

Welcome

Everyone reacts differently, which is probably why your doctor was unsure how you'd react. We've had some people who have reacted negatively, but there are many others, who like you, have taken it as clarification, and are relieved to finally know they aren't crazy. I myself had a similar realisation, and have embraced my 'odd ways' more so now. I suppose it all depends on your situation in life, so I imagine the first reaction is probably the correct one.

This forum is a great place to further learn more about AS, so I hope you find many more answers here. Our members are quite helpful, and friendly, so feel free to contribute to our discussions. Since you're relatively new to AS, I recommend also having a browse through our recommended resources section, for books on AS as recommended by our members: Resources | AspiesCentral.com

 

[Saragrl]

Welcome. I was just diagnosed last week myself and I'm 35. I found my diagnosis very anticlimactic, I was nervous for a month about what my doc would say. When he said ASD, I was very relived. For once my inner struggles were validated. Then I got home and realized it meant nothing. If no one in my life listened to me before, they are not going to change now.

 

[Mattymatt]

The diagnosis does help get you access to state programs to help you advance. True people won't listen any closer, but the diagnosis can open doors for education and career assistance.

 

[Saragrl]

Sadly in my state the are no programs in place for adults. I would get free therapy, but after a hospitalization a couple years ago I already have that. It's not all bad here though since the state does cover diagnosis, and I know that can cost a lot of money. I really was planing for the future when it came to my diagnosis. I know when I get older it will be more difficult to perform (for lack of a better word) as well as I do. I barely keep things together as it is.

 

[Salmongirl17]

I was angry because my mom didn't tell me about the diagnosis until over 3 years after it. The doctor even kept it secret from me!

 

[icesyckel]

Welcome

Everyone reacts differently, which is probably why your doctor was unsure how you'd react. We've had some people who have reacted negatively, but there are many others, who like you, have taken it as clarification, and are relieved to finally know they aren't crazy. I myself had a similar realisation, and have embraced my 'odd ways' more so now. I suppose it all depends on your situation in life, so I imagine the first reaction is probably the correct one...

You know, it's been a few days now, and I still don't really feel anything much about it at all. I believe I had "self-diagnosed" a bit before hand, and I might have been angry had the doc gotten it "wrong" (I felt I was a pretty clear-cut case given the extensive research I did), but since he got it right I am if anything "comfortable" with the result. The only really strong emotional reaction I had was to the doctor being so concerned that I might become violent over the news. That actually freaked me out a bit, and, having thought it over extensively, I am now afraid to tell others. If a psych professional is afraid I might become violent, then what will "ordinary" people think?

It is for precisely that reason I have decided not to "out" myself except when absolutely necessary. I believe I have developed sufficient coping mechanisms to "fool" all but those who are around me on a daily basis, so I don't see the advantage in sharing the news given the doc's relatively disturbing reaction.

 

[icesyckel]

I was angry because my mom didn't tell me about the diagnosis until over 3 years after it. The doctor even kept it secret from me!

You know, growing up AS wasn't even on the spectrum, so my 'rents didn't know about it. They did notice several conditions and problems I had associated with AS and helped me get treated for those, though. For example, I have a convergence insufficiency for which I had therapy.

All in all, though, I believe I am "high functioning" precisely because no one placed labels or limits on me when I was young. When there was a problem, such as with my visual processing, that was something we noticed and dealt with, but I never had any sort of ASD diagnosis that made me feel like there were "upper limits" to what I could do or accomplish (not that having a diagnosis should do that - but remember we're discussing the impact on children as opposed to adults, and kids can and do misinterpret the significance of labels/words sometimes).

Now, like you, I would be pissed if my mom hid something like that from me. Still, it could have been advantageous to childhood development so long as she was aware. As an adult, I strongly believe knowing is better once we are sufficiently mature to realize a diagnosis does not equal a handicap or "ceiling" on what we can do. It simply describes certain challenges we face others may not.

That's just my two cents, though, and I hope you can forgive your mom.

 

[icesyckel]

Sadly in my state the are no programs in place for adults. I would get free therapy, but after a hospitalization a couple years ago I already have that. It's not all bad here though since the state does cover diagnosis, and I know that can cost a lot of money. I really was planing for the future when it came to my diagnosis. I know when I get older it will be more difficult to perform (for lack of a better word) as well as I do. I barely keep things together as it is.

I also live in a city/region where there are no support groups or government-sponsored assistance (except for children). I wish that was different, but I suppose that just means we have to be all the more responsible for our own growth and development.

 

[icesyckel]

When I found out about my ASD a few years ago, I really didn't feel any different, and I still don't. But I felt some degree of shock because so many things I did not understand about my childhood and teenage years began to make sense.

That is pretty much exactly how it was for me. If I did have any internal response, then it wasn't the anger or anguish my doc seemed to expect. Instead, it was a certain sense of satisfaction akin to solving a mystery. Just as you said it, "...so many things I did not understand about my childhood and teenage years began to make sense," well that goes for me as well. However, I came to the conclusion I had AS long before the doc did, and so I had been experiencing that sense of "shock" prior to getting the Dx. Maybe it was my lack of a reaction that surprised the doctor since I was expecting the Dx and prepared to receive it?

 

[Ereth]

I suppose that's exactly why the doctor was surprised, yeah.

 

[icesyckel]

I suppose that's exactly why the doctor was surprised, yeah.

He seemed really disturbed/surprised by something, so I guess that was it then.

It really doesn't matter, but it surprised me that he could be surprised, and I haven't been able to stop thinking about why it surprised him. As someone else observed, theoretically different patients respond differently to the news, and theoretically I am not the first patient who didn't have an intense outward reaction. Mystery solved.