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dl2048

New Member
Hi,
I made a commitment to join a forum today so here I am. I'm 60 years old and I think I'm just now figuring out what makes me tick. I have the craziest memories and trying to figure out why I did certain things as a kid makes no sense.. until now.

My friend recently told me he thinks he has an order of autism.. You can probably tell I have no experience or idea what things are called etc. Up until yesterday I thought I was an anomaly and one of a kind. I put all kinds of labels on what I did and the reasoning behind it. I am pretty sure what has driven me all the years is Aspergers. I keep watching videos and reading about symptoms etc.. I fit like 99% of the criteria.

So here I am and I have no idea where to go from here. I have a high amount of anxiety and depression lately. I made an appointment to go for EMDR.. not sure it will help but I was willing to give it a try. I need to shake the depression and anxiety and get back to work as I'm currently out of work. I have been able to hold down some pretty good jobs over the years making top dollar doing computer consulting. But lately having issues with anxiety and depression and walked away from my last job.

I figured I'd introduce myself, I'm excited on one hand to learn more about this and actually talk to people who have similar stories ( guessing that I'll meet a bunch of people with similar stories ). I could go on and on about my life at this point but I won't.

Right now I just want to be focused on what the next steps are for me and possibly meet like minded people. Looking forward to talking to some of you!
Dave
 
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dl2048 said:
I figured I'd introduce myself, I'm excited on one hand to learn more about this and actually talk to people who have similar stories
Click to expand...

60 vs 47.

Lots of the older crowd on here.
81 and higher...

Finding out there's a reason things were going wrong can help depression, as can finding people with similar experiences .

It's quite fortunate you arrived ,as we were one Dave short.

Join in, I'm sure you'll have a lot add.
 
Its good to see there are real people on here. I joined another site and never got any reply or verification at all.. I even looked in my spam filter. So.. have most people grown up being super smart and declared that you were a mini professor? I was .. How can someone be so smart and lacking in so many other way.. ( is what my parents used to say )
 
dl2048 said:
Its good to see there are real people on here. I joined another site and never got any reply or verification at all.. I even looked in my spam filter. So.. have most people grown up being super smart and declared that you were a mini professor? I was .. How can someone be so smart and lacking in so many other way.. ( is what my parents used to say )
Click to expand...

The older I get the more lacking I realised I was but
The more it doesn't matter.

I stayed hidden,as much as I could.

If you are labelled smart ,people expect certain behaviour,
If you mess up they then assume it's deliberate
Ie how could someone smart do that?
 
I used to dumb myself down when I was younger.. my friends couldn't keep up with me. Funny, hindsight is 20/20 if i had known what I know now .. things would still probably have been the same. I just don't know how to proceed. I guess business as usual. I watched a couple videos done by some pretty accomplished people.. who have similar issues. So.. its not a total wash. Its weird to think I have had somewhat of a disability all there years.. I guess you can look at it as a blessing in some ways. I would never have been so smart otherwise.
 
Welcome!

dl2048 said:
I used to dumb myself down when I was younger.. my friends couldn't keep up with me.
Click to expand...

I've gotten very good at speaking to people at their level of intelligence and using whatever terms and lingo they use.

dl2048 said:
I just don't know how to proceed. I guess business as usual. I watched a couple videos done by some pretty accomplished people.. who have similar issues. So.. its not a total wash. Its weird to think I have had somewhat of a disability all there years.. I guess you can look at it as a blessing in some ways. I would never have been so smart otherwise.
Click to expand...

It sounds like you are approaching it with a healthy attitude. It's not a handicap or a superpower - just a difference. You may have lived your life up til now thinking you were a terrible middle piece of the puzzle, and now you find out you're an edge piece. The good news is, you still belong in the puzzle.
 
dl2048 said:
Its good to see there are real people on here. I joined another site and never got any reply or verification at all.. I even looked in my spam filter. So.. have most people grown up being super smart and declared that you were a mini professor? I was .. How can someone be so smart and lacking in so many other way.. ( is what my parents used to say )
Click to expand...

In sixth grade, one of my good friends described me as "smart in school, dumb in life." That has turned out to be one of the most accurate descriptions of me. I scored very high in all academic tests, IQ tests, standardized test, valedictorian, voted most likely to succeed, etc.

But in the real world ... I get by well enough. I'm not retired, I'm not the boss, I'm not wealthy. I think I'm doing pretty well, but I always think that everyone must have expected more from me.
 
I worked a job a few years ago and a project manager came up to me on the side and said "
dont let that guy get under your skin, I think he has aspergers anyway ".. So I looked it up. I mean the guy was a real jerk, he did what ever he could to intimidate and screw the rest of us up.. so my impression of Aspergers was way off ( I mean there has to be good and bad people in all walks of life ).. but never stopped to realize that it was ME who had Aspergers or that it well could have been me. After looking back I'm thinking hey.. me and that guy really were allot alike. He just had a mean streak. What a wake up call. A close friend of mine says hey, i have high functioning autism .. of course in my mind I think of autistic kids who cant speak well or drive.. But.. thats only part of it. Since I'm sort of a techie now I wonder what really is going on in our heads. I always considered myself sort of advanced ahead of most people.. I need to get my head screwed on straight once again.
 
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