I recently turned 50 years old and wasn't diagnosis until my mid 40's. My family and I always knew I was different. My mom took me to doctors as a child to find out what was wrong with me. My constant need to be in motion and incessant need to talk about things that interested me made her nervous. I spent most of my life even as a child alone.
I got married, divorced and have 3 adult children but I have the same problems as I did as a child. My kids refuse to accept my diagnosis. They use my meltdowns and the inability to read their emotions against me. I've apologized multiple times and try very hard now that I understand why I react the way I do to be better but it doesn't change the past in their eyes.
I've come to believe that being alone is better than being with people. I only make them angry and they only hurt me so I limit the time I spend with even family members.
I like puttering around my house with my 2 dogs both whom I rescued. One is very good at helping me when I am spinning (overwhelmed). She'll lay beside me and will do her best to make me laugh while tears are streaming down my face. My faith in God and my dogs are what keep me going.
It isn't easy being different, the one that doesn't seem to know what's really going on but is always guessing. I don't always like the results of being autistic but in me it does mean that I do my utmost never to hurt anyone intentionally, even though I do seem to do so unintentionally.
I got married, divorced and have 3 adult children but I have the same problems as I did as a child. My kids refuse to accept my diagnosis. They use my meltdowns and the inability to read their emotions against me. I've apologized multiple times and try very hard now that I understand why I react the way I do to be better but it doesn't change the past in their eyes.
I've come to believe that being alone is better than being with people. I only make them angry and they only hurt me so I limit the time I spend with even family members.
I like puttering around my house with my 2 dogs both whom I rescued. One is very good at helping me when I am spinning (overwhelmed). She'll lay beside me and will do her best to make me laugh while tears are streaming down my face. My faith in God and my dogs are what keep me going.
It isn't easy being different, the one that doesn't seem to know what's really going on but is always guessing. I don't always like the results of being autistic but in me it does mean that I do my utmost never to hurt anyone intentionally, even though I do seem to do so unintentionally.
