Martin McNickle
Well-Known Member
Hello, everybody, my name is Martin. I don't know that I have Asperger's, but I think that I may fall somewhere on the spectrum. I have noticed for a long time that people who fall on the spectrum are drawn to me, and I always wondered why. Is it a kindred spirits sort of connection? No idea. In fact, I was driving the other night and thinking about this, and I had to pull over and chat with one such friend on Facebook using my smartphone. I mentioned that I have an intellectual capacity to acknowledge that others are drawn to me, and care about me, but that understanding is superficial, more like an awareness of a pattern of interaction that is considered normal. As such, I am acutely aware that although other people are drawn to me, and care about me, and this is "normal," I don't really understand why, and I'm aware that in some fashion, I don't really care why others are drawn to me beyond acknowledging that they have a need.
I also find that I am far better able to communicate via the written medium than I am at having an actual conversation. The reason for this is I feel (mainly due to experience), that most people wouldn't understand where I am coming from. However, when I talk to people with Asperger's, I could carry on a conversation without much effort, using long drawn out sentences and analogies to such an extent that it's almost like we're speaking our own language with the ease in which we communicate.
I've never been formally diagnosed or anything, but I was taken to therapists as a child, and my father and his girlfriend insisted that I wasn't normal and was depressed and needed to be on medication. I was a kid, so didn't have much voice to protest, but I did protest, which only made my situation all the more perilous. Until they had pushed this idea of depression onto me, I had no real concept of it. It's a recurring theme in my life that I'm not very self-aware until someone points something out to me, and when they do, I meet it with suspicion that they're trying to push an idea onto me, to impose themselves on me and take control, so I resist.
I wasn't expecting to write so much for my intro, and I went off on a bit of a tangent. Anyway, I hope to find more answers on the journey of self-discovery.
-Martin
I also find that I am far better able to communicate via the written medium than I am at having an actual conversation. The reason for this is I feel (mainly due to experience), that most people wouldn't understand where I am coming from. However, when I talk to people with Asperger's, I could carry on a conversation without much effort, using long drawn out sentences and analogies to such an extent that it's almost like we're speaking our own language with the ease in which we communicate.
I've never been formally diagnosed or anything, but I was taken to therapists as a child, and my father and his girlfriend insisted that I wasn't normal and was depressed and needed to be on medication. I was a kid, so didn't have much voice to protest, but I did protest, which only made my situation all the more perilous. Until they had pushed this idea of depression onto me, I had no real concept of it. It's a recurring theme in my life that I'm not very self-aware until someone points something out to me, and when they do, I meet it with suspicion that they're trying to push an idea onto me, to impose themselves on me and take control, so I resist.
I wasn't expecting to write so much for my intro, and I went off on a bit of a tangent. Anyway, I hope to find more answers on the journey of self-discovery.
-Martin
