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Hard time finding someone with similar interests!

Whattup

Whattup

Well-Known Member
Hello everyone :)
So I have been dating for about 3-4 years now, I'm hitting 30 in a couple of weeks as well. I've never been in a committed relationship though. Some reasons are that the guys I meet don't want to commit, they want kids, etc, but I also think they don't get as close to me because we rarely have similar interests.

I was diagnosed with Aspergers six years ago, and my interests include rare but modern doll collecting, TV shows like the Deadliest Catch, anything true crime, the Food Network Channel and Discovery Life. I like movie franchises like Alien, Predator, Disney, but not much else, and I love to dogs and hikes too!

Are these interests (besides the doll collecting, lol) that really are that odd? I mean, they seem pretty mainstream to me! But I never find people to date who I can relate to beyond our religious and political views, which is pretty decent.

I'm just kind of frustrated, I just want a meaningful relationship that will last, and I think that finding someone with similar interests would help. I guess I'm just looking for input.

Thanks in advance.
 
join
Whattup said:
Hello everyone :)
So I have been dating for about 3-4 years now, I'm hitting 30 in a couple of weeks as well. I've never been in a committed relationship though. Some reasons are that the guys I meet don't want to commit, they want kids, etc, but I also think they don't get as close to me because we rarely have similar interests.

I was diagnosed with Aspergers six years ago, and my interests include rare but modern doll collecting, TV shows like the Deadliest Catch, anything true crime, the Food Network Channel and Discovery Life. I like movie franchises like Alien, Predator, Disney, but not much else, and I love to dogs and hikes too!

Are these interests (besides the doll collecting, lol) that really are that odd? I mean, they seem pretty mainstream to me! But I never find people to date who I can relate to beyond our religious and political views, which is pretty decent.

I'm just kind of frustrated, I just want a meaningful relationship that will last, and I think that finding someone with similar interests would help. I guess I'm just looking for input.

Thanks in advance.
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join a club for hikers or doll collectors
 
Streetwise said:
join
join a club for hikers or doll collectors
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I'm a part of a Limited Edition Disney Doll collectors group, but people in that online group are all over the world, I've never seen anyone in my state even.
I don't know why this thread popped up in the "Interests" forum, I posted it in the dating forum!
 
you have
Whattup said:
I'm a part of a Limited Edition Disney Doll collectors group, but people in that online group are all over the world, I've never seen anyone in my state even.
I don't know why this thread popped up in the "Interests" forum, I posted it in the dating forum!
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web admin maybe maintaining the site
 
Common interests are only an introduction to a committed relationship. Start with a definition of what you value in yourself, society, in a partner. Create a list of that which you need vs want. Look for the reasons WHY you do the things that you do.

Through those topics you'll start to express more of who you are rather than what you do. People are attracted to who you are, and they recognize that the things you have experienced have probably helped to define who you are.

Commitment is a fluid term these days, changes as we go through life. I feel that commitment comes along when people have values that their partner can admire and respect, complimentary to their own without being perfectly the same.
 
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Keigan said:
Common interests are only an introduction to a committed relationship. Start with a definition of what you value in yourself, society, in a partner. Create a list of that which you need vs want. Look for the reasons WHY you do the things that you do.

Through those topics you'll start to express more of who you are rather than what you do. People are attracted to who you are, and they recognize that the things you have experienced have probably helped to define who you are.

Commitment is a fluid term these days, changes as we go through life. I feel that commitment comes along when people have values that their partner can admire and respect, complimentary to their own without being perfectly the same.
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Thanks for your input :) That's pretty much what I've been doing, I know what I won't compromise on vs. what would just be nice to have. Still, no luck, other than just friendly dates :/ But those are better than nothing :)
 
Nice!

Have you written down those things and reviewed with a friend who might actually be in a healthy committed relationship? Might be some insight there or might be some confusion.

So based upon my experiences, friendly dates indicates you are on a good path!
 
In looking back at the relationships I had with NT women, I must say when it comes to our special interests, we really didn't have many in common. Though I'd be hesitant to say this is any kind of "deal-breaker" when it comes to relationships in general. They went wrong primarily due to conflicting neurologies without actually dealing with it or even being aware of it.

A huge reason to become self-aware...though there are never any guarantees of social success and bliss.
 
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I don't think that doll collecting is all that odd a hobby, even if it isn't terribly common. You probably won't find any men who share this interest though, but it isn't unusual for couples to have some differing interests, especially along gendered lines.

When it comes to your media consumption nothing jumps out at me as odd except that your interests are perhaps a bit restrictive. Most people consume a range of media, usually along the lines of favorite genres. They may be major fans of a particular franchise or creator but they will usually l be aware of and interested in whatever is popular at the time within their demographic.

Dogs and hiking are also pretty ordenary interests. It sounds like you are looking for a guy who likes a certain kind of reality TV and enjoys the outdoors, which isn't unreasonable.

I am not entirely sure that your interests are the problem though. As you said, they seem pretty mainstream. Maybe it is communication style or something else that is making it hard to find the right person.
 
Datura said:
You probably won't find any men who share this interest though,
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I think you missed the comment I wrote before you.

The Penguin said:
There are many members have interest collecting dolls including my self.
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There is a few male members on here into dolls including me. There is many forums out there about dolls and decent amount of members are male. But finding males in society into dolls would be harder than finding a male that into sports and other type of interest.
 
Whattup said:
Which doll lines do you collect? I
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Many types. My local comic store always selling stuff 50% off. Every Wednesday I see what new and if it interest me I buy it. The below link will show you the collection I started off with. My collection grew a lot since I taken that picture and I have installed many shelves in my room so I can fit more. I do have better quality pictures which I might share this weekend.

Collecting dolls
 
I gave up decades ago trying to find people with simliar interests to me, even people who claimed they did, in reality did not. They didn't have the the same intensity or passion for them that I did.
 
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