I'm generally hesitant to introducing myself to others, mainly because I automatically try to present the most adapted version of myself in the given situation. So for the sake of it and maybe as an exercise, I'll introduce my more transparent self in this post even though it will be a longer one. Because people know me as a very adaptive and listening extrovert with an open heart, always with a calm positive vibe and a contagious smile (first wrote contaminated, which is pretty wrong, oupsie). I suppose that is why people usually tell me "no that is not possible" when I, in the rare occasions that I do, reveal to them that I have Asperger's.
I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 21 years old, so a year ago now, which explained so much about my difficulties in life. All of a sudden my perceived social anxiety, pattern fixation, all-or-nothing brain, special interests, hyper-objectiveness, drained energy levels after any social interaction... It all had an explanation and masking became the explanation to why my view of myself never matched who others told me I was. My parents raised me to not show emotions, "just suck it up and adapt" and always stay logical, which probably helps my masking-capability but of course creates a whole set of new problems. I'm constantly hiding which is exhausting, good for me that I never get bored of my own company because I need a lot of recharging alone time. Balance is tough when the brain always goes from one extreme to the other, while people close to me tell me what I'm experiencing isn't real just because they can't see it.
Honestly, I wouldn't trade away my Asperger's even if I could. I love my analytical and passionate brain that sees the world with a constant curiosity, perhaps stemming from the fact that I found the world so difficult to understand. My brain is brilliant in many ways and even though I struggle with many things it gives me a beautiful perspective of the world and people around me. I suppose I'm here to learn more about and discuss our common special interest, the Asperger's and Autism spectrum. I feel quite lonely in my diagnosis because my closest people either can't comprehend how extreme I often function (because it sometimes feels physically impossible to let my mask down and show myself after all these years of building it up ) or just don't know how to talk about it.
ps. Light hearted facts: LOVE nature, bicycles, books, fika and to listen to/see people talk about their hearts true passions. I'm also from Sweden, which you probably figured out by the title haha.
So this was my chosen version about myself to tell today. Glad to be joining here, wish you all a lovely day!
/ Läslusen
I was diagnosed with Asperger's at 21 years old, so a year ago now, which explained so much about my difficulties in life. All of a sudden my perceived social anxiety, pattern fixation, all-or-nothing brain, special interests, hyper-objectiveness, drained energy levels after any social interaction... It all had an explanation and masking became the explanation to why my view of myself never matched who others told me I was. My parents raised me to not show emotions, "just suck it up and adapt" and always stay logical, which probably helps my masking-capability but of course creates a whole set of new problems. I'm constantly hiding which is exhausting, good for me that I never get bored of my own company because I need a lot of recharging alone time. Balance is tough when the brain always goes from one extreme to the other, while people close to me tell me what I'm experiencing isn't real just because they can't see it.
Honestly, I wouldn't trade away my Asperger's even if I could. I love my analytical and passionate brain that sees the world with a constant curiosity, perhaps stemming from the fact that I found the world so difficult to understand. My brain is brilliant in many ways and even though I struggle with many things it gives me a beautiful perspective of the world and people around me. I suppose I'm here to learn more about and discuss our common special interest, the Asperger's and Autism spectrum. I feel quite lonely in my diagnosis because my closest people either can't comprehend how extreme I often function (because it sometimes feels physically impossible to let my mask down and show myself after all these years of building it up ) or just don't know how to talk about it.
ps. Light hearted facts: LOVE nature, bicycles, books, fika and to listen to/see people talk about their hearts true passions. I'm also from Sweden, which you probably figured out by the title haha.
So this was my chosen version about myself to tell today. Glad to be joining here, wish you all a lovely day!
/ Läslusen
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