TheLawSon
New Member
Hi,
Today I am going to get a diagnosis for being an Aspie, after consulting countless websites over several months and seeing how HFA/ASD affects people's minds I feel there is no doubt that I am suffering from this condition. Without going all "Web-MD" on myself, I researched while being as non-biased as possible, trying to be as honest with myself as possible. As weird as it sounds, I was overcome with joy to find that this spectrum of mental issues fit every single issue that I've been unable to vocalize to others. The stress of always feeling like a failure, social pariah, and the endless weighted ostracized mental feelings was becoming nearly unbearable.
At times I felt insane, selfish, or narcissistic, not knowing if what I was feeling was just a result of me going through the past emotional neglect and abuse during my childhood development. Yet the more I've dedicated to learning about these conditions, the more I felt at peace with myself because I finally had found a way to quantify everything that itched and scratched at my mental states beneath the surface causing my constant mental duress. Things like deteriorating relationships, not being able to hold a job more than a year most of the time, and general social quirks that left me isolated on a mental island ... oftentimes catatonic in nature I would retreat inwards into my mental sanctuary (much like the penguin cave from Fight Club).
I'm happy to find a community out there that is more than willing to discuss in forum the affects this state of reality has on my mind and the mind's of others. Even though it will never leave me, I'm glad to know there is a place of community and belonging where I can learn how to control the conditions of this seriously overlooked issue.
Nice to be part of the community.
-Lawson
Today I am going to get a diagnosis for being an Aspie, after consulting countless websites over several months and seeing how HFA/ASD affects people's minds I feel there is no doubt that I am suffering from this condition. Without going all "Web-MD" on myself, I researched while being as non-biased as possible, trying to be as honest with myself as possible. As weird as it sounds, I was overcome with joy to find that this spectrum of mental issues fit every single issue that I've been unable to vocalize to others. The stress of always feeling like a failure, social pariah, and the endless weighted ostracized mental feelings was becoming nearly unbearable.
At times I felt insane, selfish, or narcissistic, not knowing if what I was feeling was just a result of me going through the past emotional neglect and abuse during my childhood development. Yet the more I've dedicated to learning about these conditions, the more I felt at peace with myself because I finally had found a way to quantify everything that itched and scratched at my mental states beneath the surface causing my constant mental duress. Things like deteriorating relationships, not being able to hold a job more than a year most of the time, and general social quirks that left me isolated on a mental island ... oftentimes catatonic in nature I would retreat inwards into my mental sanctuary (much like the penguin cave from Fight Club).
I'm happy to find a community out there that is more than willing to discuss in forum the affects this state of reality has on my mind and the mind's of others. Even though it will never leave me, I'm glad to know there is a place of community and belonging where I can learn how to control the conditions of this seriously overlooked issue.
Nice to be part of the community.
-Lawson
