Hello all.

[Dalek46]

I'm a newb here, but not a newb when it comes to ASD. I was diagnosed late, in my 30s, and still have trouble coping with harassment and other negativity from people around me who willingly blind themselves to my pain. It's all about them, never about anyone else. (And people wonder why my antisocial phases last as long as they do...)

Today is the last day at my most recent place of employment. At first, it wasn't too bad. But then I suffered the trauma of my grandmother's death (without being given the state-mandated 3 days for bereavement). I wasn't able to cope, and became more and more antisocial. I tried to explain ASD to my boss and my co-workers, but they weren't listening. To them, my "behaviors" were killing the business at the restaurant. I wasn't doing anything more than being a little short with customers, but my co-workers made it seem to the boss that I was doing more than that, and intentionally.

I'm truly at my wit's end here. I've gone to support groups in my area, but unfortunately for me, they're all set up kinda like 12-step programs. They have a very strong religious bent.



But I'm hoping to find support here, from others with ASD and maybe I can bring mine into balance again.

 

[tree]

 

[xudo]

Welcome

 

[Warmheart]

Howdy Dalek. Nice to meet you! Welcome.

 

[Ambi]

I'm a newb here, but not a newb when it comes to ASD. I was diagnosed late, in my 30s, and still have trouble coping with harassment and other negativity from people around me who willingly blind themselves to my pain. It's all about them, never about anyone else. (And people wonder why my antisocial phases last as long as they do...)

Today is the last day at my most recent place of employment. At first, it wasn't too bad. But then I suffered the trauma of my grandmother's death (without being given the state-mandated 3 days for bereavement). I wasn't able to cope, and became more and more antisocial. I tried to explain ASD to my boss and my co-workers, but they weren't listening. To them, my "behaviors" were killing the business at the restaurant. I wasn't doing anything more than being a little short with customers, but my co-workers made it seem to the boss that I was doing more than that, and intentionally.

I'm truly at my wit's end here. I've gone to support groups in my area, but unfortunately for me, they're all set up kinda like 12-step programs. They have a very strong religious bent.

I find it hard to believe in any christian mythology, because if this sky-wizard they talk about is so kind and loving, why did he make me this way? LOL I'm gonna step back from religion now, as it could get me into a deep argument, and I may have to rely on Heisenberg and Schrodinger to assist me in a metaphysical de-construction of modern beliefs. Don't want to blow too many minds too soon. LOL

But I'm hoping to find support here, from others with ASD and maybe I can bring mine into balance again.

I want to say welcome, and sorry that you are struggling this way with employment and everything else! With that said, I'm going to just say this one thing - is it absolutely necessary for you to insult people's religious beliefs? Because as much as you don't understand them, to others there is an explanation that makes sense, brings comfort, purpose, and help throughout daily life. I think it's really bad form to make such gross assertions, then pretend to back away from it, then claim you're going to blow up people's minds like you're somehow more intelligent than others. Why do this? Why alienate and insult people in your introductory post? Why explain you want to start debating people?

FYI, there is a special forum for that purpose - but can you see you are insulting and alienating some people, people you don't even know, for no reason at all - people who may want to welcome you, but you smear the intro in this way? I just find that very hurtful. So - welcome, even though I feel hurt. And no, I'm not here to debate with you, or prove myself to you. I hope you find all that you need on this forum and that it will help be as much of a source of support and healing as it has been for me. But I hope you keep insulting opinions about religious belief to the section of the forum it is designated for.

 

[Dalek46]

Wasn't exactly intending to bash others' beliefs, @Ambi. I was trying to get across that I don't personally believe. What others believe is their own business, and none of my own. If you read into it wrong, I'm sorry if I offended you.

 

[Ambi]

Wasn't exactly intending to bash others' beliefs, @Ambi. I was trying to get across that I don't personally believe. What others believe is their own business, and none of my own. If you read into it wrong, I'm sorry if I offended you.

I most certainly did NOT read into it wrong - I'm not stupid. It is plain as day what you wrote. If you had simply said what you stated above, you wouldn't have bashed anyone's beliefs, you would have simply explained your lack of belief.

 

[Nitro]

 

[Myway]

Hello Dalek. Welcome to AspiesCentral. I hope you enjoy your time here.

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

Welcome, @Dalek46. I hope you find the support you're looking for. This is a great place for that and you'll soon learn that many of us share similar stories and experiences (I, too, got fired once shortly after revealing to my boss that I have Aspergers).

Just to help you navigate some potential landmines on this forum, terms like "sky wizard" are generally considered to be hostile toward Christians/theists and used to divide people into separate camps. This forum is intended to be inclusive and supportive, not divisive. And, yes, there are Christian Aspies, including myself. I don't take offense to the term because I think God, by definition being the highest order of being in the universe and infinitely beyond our comprehension, is perfectly capable of defending Himself and doesn't need my help in doing so. I also happen to believe that He is all loving, too and therefore, not offended by the term.

As for your question, if God "is so kind and loving, [then] why did he make me this way," I think He made all of us, including Aspies/those with ASD, in His image. And, since He is all-knowing (again, a supreme being is, by definition, all-knowing), He is incapable of making mistakes. Therefore, He had a very good reason for making you. I don't know what the answer is, but I do know that His purposes are always for the good, even if we don't always see it that way.

I'll leave the theology behind now and focus on you, here and now. Think about this: if you don't like the way you were made, does that necessarily mean that you are in any way inferior to others? No way, dude. You're unique and special. All that pain you have experienced has equipped you well for a special purpose that has yet to reveal itself. Those painful experiences have happened because of misunderstandings with others, not because of you. Misunderstandings are always a two-way street. Don't let anyone tell you they happened because of who you are. You were made this way for a good reason (whatever that may be). You just have to find out why. I hope this forum can help you explore those reasons and arrive at a place of peace.

 

[Starfire]

Welcome and hello Dalek!