Hey everyone, nice to meet you! I joined this group because I was seeking to be able to connect with people who I think have had similar life experiences. All my life, I felt different, on the outside looking in, as it were, but it wasn’t until after college that I became aware that the social difficulties i’ve had in my life, as well as the peculiarities I know myself to have (finger stimming etc.) were related to autism. I started working as a teacher’s assistant in a special education program. I remember seeing one of the kids and he had a similar stimm that I do with his fingers. By this time, I had a BA in psychology and knew about autism but hadn’t really put two and two together until working with children with special needs. I realized that the hardships I had as a kid: making eye contact, answering the phone, speaking in monotones even when I didn’t intend to, often coming off as rude or arrogant or cold/insensitive, preferring solitude, were all things that people on the spectrum had.
I didn’t make much of suspecting that I had Asperger’s until it became apparent to me that I wasn’t advancing in my career because of a lack of social skills, and I wasn’t developing many friendships and my dating life is non-existent. In fact, to my chagrin, I’ve never seriously dated. This is a stigma for me that has haunted me most of my life. Autism expert Tony Atwood describes a personality subtype of an Aspie, which is an extremely ingratiating person who is desperate to make friends. I was kind of like this but about having a girlfriend, though, by seeing me, you would never know, you would think I was just gay as many did, or even asexual, or simply lacks interest. In fact, I was so obsessed with wanting friends and a girlfriend that, that obsession itself became a hindrance. That’s probably been the biggest stigma i’ve had to deal with in my life.
BTW, I am technically undiagnosed, I’m looking to talk to some experts to see if I really do indeed have an Autism spectrum disorder. I believe that I do but could be wrong, maybe i’m just depressed/socially anxious and have ticks?
Anyway, I was feeling bummed a few days ago, and a bit hopeless, and so that’s why I joined this group. There’s so much to talk about and learn about myself… well, hope to meet great friends on this site!
I didn’t make much of suspecting that I had Asperger’s until it became apparent to me that I wasn’t advancing in my career because of a lack of social skills, and I wasn’t developing many friendships and my dating life is non-existent. In fact, to my chagrin, I’ve never seriously dated. This is a stigma for me that has haunted me most of my life. Autism expert Tony Atwood describes a personality subtype of an Aspie, which is an extremely ingratiating person who is desperate to make friends. I was kind of like this but about having a girlfriend, though, by seeing me, you would never know, you would think I was just gay as many did, or even asexual, or simply lacks interest. In fact, I was so obsessed with wanting friends and a girlfriend that, that obsession itself became a hindrance. That’s probably been the biggest stigma i’ve had to deal with in my life.
BTW, I am technically undiagnosed, I’m looking to talk to some experts to see if I really do indeed have an Autism spectrum disorder. I believe that I do but could be wrong, maybe i’m just depressed/socially anxious and have ticks?
Anyway, I was feeling bummed a few days ago, and a bit hopeless, and so that’s why I joined this group. There’s so much to talk about and learn about myself… well, hope to meet great friends on this site!
