Hi Dark Passenger! Welcome to Aspies Central.
I understand where you're coming from exactly. I'm a 23-year-old female diagnosed with AS in 1996, but I didn't know that I had it until I was 13. I also had a lot of trouble describing my feelings as a child (gotten much more in touch with understanding them since then, especially when I started college four years ago). Plus, I've also noticed that many seemed to take advantage of me because of my intelligence; on the other hand, I was somewhat slow to understand when people were taking advantage of me because of the naive behaviors I held at the time. I'm not as naive now thanks to being hurt emotionally a few times in high school - it wasn't a great feeling but I feel that the lessons they taught me were beneficial for me in the long run. Additionally, I also tend to be nice to almost everyone that I often tend to be rather meek and submissive since I find it hard to say "no" to anyone if they ask me any favors - I act like this because I am really afraid of losing any friends over saying "no" about something.
In terms of social skills, I had some in elementary school and middle school, but I didn't have really good social skills until my sophomore year in high school. That year was the year I joined my high school drama club. After that, I felt motivated to talk with new people and expand my horizons through socializing with others. My social skills are probably the best they have ever been ever since I began college. There, I really began to understand how I really am as a person on various levels (i.e., social, academic, emotional, etc.). I still feel that some people might think I'm strange or overly opinionated at times because I do tend to speak passionately about issues I believe in.
Even in college, there were times I still felt alone. These feelings were especially apparent during the summer, when many of my friends from college moved home far away from where I live (they also applied for winter break for the same reason), and whenever I was crammed with a lot of schoolwork and other responsibilities (in these cases, I felt that the work and responsibilities were taking away opportunities I could hang out with friends and my boyfriend, thus making me feel isolated from the rest of the world).
The bottom line is, I understand how it feels to be lonely, and it is not a great feeling; therefore, I know exactly how you feel. If you ever need anyone, please feel free to post anything you would like to talk about. We're an extremely friendly and accepting community (I have been on here since January 6th, and I haven't found a single member who has taken advantage of anyone here), and we are always there for one another. In fact, I like to call this wonderful community a close-knit family. Hope you feel the same way here.
