rebelstar
New Member
Hello everyone- I’m not sure what to say about myself without rambling too much.
I’ve actually attempted my introduction literally several times within the past couple of days but I keep editing and deleting it. I’m not really all that good at small talk. Usually I’m better with deeper discussions but if I’m not careful I can end up rambling on and on.
Anyway I’m 42 and was recently diagnosed with having high functioning Aspergers (about 3-4 weeks ago).
I’ve had depression and anxiety since I was a kid but I finally sought treatment myself sometime in my early 20’s. Since then I’d been treated with various medications through various doctors all aimed at treating depression and anxiety but nothing seemed to work.
After awhile I finally started seeing that I was just going in circles and eventually persistence paid off and I ran into the right specialist who was willing to think outside the box instead of throwing more meds at me for the same old thing. She specializes in autism, adhd, bipolar, and borderline personality disorder. After hearing my backstory and answering some questions she said I show the classic signs of high functioning Aspergers.
It’s almost a relief to have an answer finally to the question of why I never seemed to fit in anywhere. In appearance I look like everyone else but it’s like I’m made differently. I’d always felt like an outsider- an intruder- or something like that.
I’ve been able to get by a bit better as an adult compared to my childhood but I still struggle a lot. Especially in the job field. I get overwhelmed very easily-I’m very prone to anxiety attacks from these feelings of frustration or overwhelming anxiety that manifest in the form of at the very least tears I can’t control and at worst sobbing, hyperventilating, irrational thinking & fear that it’s never going to stop. Usually I have to take a Xanax (prescribed for that very reason) and it starts to calm me down enough to come back to reasonable thinking (during these attacks I have to sneak off into the restroom or somewhere alone to try to breathe and calm down). But the rest of the day I can’t make eye contact or hardly speak to anyone because it will set me right back to another ‘attack’. I will feel exhausted, ashamed, and deeply depressed for days afterwards.
Does anyone else have these types of attacks? I’ve read that they are probably what’s referred to an an Autistic meltdown.
I currently work in a restaurant with a temperamental owner that will sometimes micromanage me to tears literally but just as often it has nothing to do with a specific person - it’s like I overload and then short circuit. Then I’m drained. This has happened at all my jobs in the past. They are various types of jobs too.
Thanks for reading and sorry for the novel. I’m very interested to learn as much as I can about high functioning Aspergers because in my eyes understanding the issue will help me cope better.
Thanks again.
I’ve actually attempted my introduction literally several times within the past couple of days but I keep editing and deleting it. I’m not really all that good at small talk. Usually I’m better with deeper discussions but if I’m not careful I can end up rambling on and on.
Anyway I’m 42 and was recently diagnosed with having high functioning Aspergers (about 3-4 weeks ago).
I’ve had depression and anxiety since I was a kid but I finally sought treatment myself sometime in my early 20’s. Since then I’d been treated with various medications through various doctors all aimed at treating depression and anxiety but nothing seemed to work.
After awhile I finally started seeing that I was just going in circles and eventually persistence paid off and I ran into the right specialist who was willing to think outside the box instead of throwing more meds at me for the same old thing. She specializes in autism, adhd, bipolar, and borderline personality disorder. After hearing my backstory and answering some questions she said I show the classic signs of high functioning Aspergers.
It’s almost a relief to have an answer finally to the question of why I never seemed to fit in anywhere. In appearance I look like everyone else but it’s like I’m made differently. I’d always felt like an outsider- an intruder- or something like that.
I’ve been able to get by a bit better as an adult compared to my childhood but I still struggle a lot. Especially in the job field. I get overwhelmed very easily-I’m very prone to anxiety attacks from these feelings of frustration or overwhelming anxiety that manifest in the form of at the very least tears I can’t control and at worst sobbing, hyperventilating, irrational thinking & fear that it’s never going to stop. Usually I have to take a Xanax (prescribed for that very reason) and it starts to calm me down enough to come back to reasonable thinking (during these attacks I have to sneak off into the restroom or somewhere alone to try to breathe and calm down). But the rest of the day I can’t make eye contact or hardly speak to anyone because it will set me right back to another ‘attack’. I will feel exhausted, ashamed, and deeply depressed for days afterwards.
Does anyone else have these types of attacks? I’ve read that they are probably what’s referred to an an Autistic meltdown.
I currently work in a restaurant with a temperamental owner that will sometimes micromanage me to tears literally but just as often it has nothing to do with a specific person - it’s like I overload and then short circuit. Then I’m drained. This has happened at all my jobs in the past. They are various types of jobs too.
Thanks for reading and sorry for the novel. I’m very interested to learn as much as I can about high functioning Aspergers because in my eyes understanding the issue will help me cope better.
Thanks again.
