malimeeshk
New Member
Hello, I would like to share my story and would greatly appreciate some feedback. I've discovered a lot of information about myself lately that leads me to believe I have been living life with undiagnosed Aspergers.
I'm 27 years old but started feeling "different" when I was around 12 years old. Over the course of a summer (7th grade going into 8th grade), my life changed. Up until this point, I was extremely interested in sports and had a group of 3-4 close friends, one of them being my best friend for three years. In a matter of less than a year (probably even sooner), I lost all interest in sports and hanging out with my friends and developed severe social anxiety. In 8th grade, I ate lunch in the bathroom stall nearly every day, all year. Video games became my entire existence outside of school. I stopped caring about personal hygiene, to the point where I would fake showers and just lay on a towel on my bathroom floor (because I was tired from staying up all night playing video games).
In high school, I didn't have any friends. I knew something was different about me but always blamed it on social anxiety. At one point it occurred to me that I have a very hard time developing and maintaining relationships (though I am happily married to a woman without AS). My mom has pretty much always been out of the picture due to drug/alcohol use and mental illness (my moms' side doesn't speak too much on her upbringing so I don't have many details). My dad, I believe, has undiagnosed AS, as he is very socially awkward and hasn't had many friendships in his adult life but maintains a pretty high-level computer programming job, among other signs.
Other signs: I have one primary interest and passion (nutrition/herbalism/longevity, etc. basically anything involving achieving optimal health). I have a hard time keeping a job because of my inability to maintain stable relationships with people due to my awkwardness at times. I come off in ways I don't intend to a lot. I tend to feel overwhelmed and overstimulated in work scenarios that require my attention in order to learn tasks, primarily due to overstimulation and eye contact/reciprocation issues, which my brain focuses on instead of the verbal information. This usually leads to poor job performance and further feelings of isolation. I used to be accused by numerous people that I ask too many questions (or talk too fast). Sometimes this is due to wanting to appear interested in an interaction I'm truly not interested in so I don't come off as rude, or due to being pedantic. I am resistant to sudden changes in plans. My tone of voice is pretty monotone and I don't show a lot of facial emotion, though these aren't necessarily indications that anything is wrong. My gait gets worse the more uncomfortable I am in social situations.
A few years back I was hanging out with my cousin and a friend of his we both went to high school with. We were hanging out and I asked him because I knew I was really socially awkward in high school, "what did people think of me in high school?" and explained my social anxiety. He said that back then people didn't really know what to think but maybe thought that I had Aspergers.
What do you think?
I'm 27 years old but started feeling "different" when I was around 12 years old. Over the course of a summer (7th grade going into 8th grade), my life changed. Up until this point, I was extremely interested in sports and had a group of 3-4 close friends, one of them being my best friend for three years. In a matter of less than a year (probably even sooner), I lost all interest in sports and hanging out with my friends and developed severe social anxiety. In 8th grade, I ate lunch in the bathroom stall nearly every day, all year. Video games became my entire existence outside of school. I stopped caring about personal hygiene, to the point where I would fake showers and just lay on a towel on my bathroom floor (because I was tired from staying up all night playing video games).
In high school, I didn't have any friends. I knew something was different about me but always blamed it on social anxiety. At one point it occurred to me that I have a very hard time developing and maintaining relationships (though I am happily married to a woman without AS). My mom has pretty much always been out of the picture due to drug/alcohol use and mental illness (my moms' side doesn't speak too much on her upbringing so I don't have many details). My dad, I believe, has undiagnosed AS, as he is very socially awkward and hasn't had many friendships in his adult life but maintains a pretty high-level computer programming job, among other signs.
Other signs: I have one primary interest and passion (nutrition/herbalism/longevity, etc. basically anything involving achieving optimal health). I have a hard time keeping a job because of my inability to maintain stable relationships with people due to my awkwardness at times. I come off in ways I don't intend to a lot. I tend to feel overwhelmed and overstimulated in work scenarios that require my attention in order to learn tasks, primarily due to overstimulation and eye contact/reciprocation issues, which my brain focuses on instead of the verbal information. This usually leads to poor job performance and further feelings of isolation. I used to be accused by numerous people that I ask too many questions (or talk too fast). Sometimes this is due to wanting to appear interested in an interaction I'm truly not interested in so I don't come off as rude, or due to being pedantic. I am resistant to sudden changes in plans. My tone of voice is pretty monotone and I don't show a lot of facial emotion, though these aren't necessarily indications that anything is wrong. My gait gets worse the more uncomfortable I am in social situations.
A few years back I was hanging out with my cousin and a friend of his we both went to high school with. We were hanging out and I asked him because I knew I was really socially awkward in high school, "what did people think of me in high school?" and explained my social anxiety. He said that back then people didn't really know what to think but maybe thought that I had Aspergers.
What do you think?
