Hello from New York City

[mutanmion]

Hi everyone.

I'm a 58 year old gay male, living in New York City. In recent months I've been exploring the possibility that I might have Aspergers's syndrome in the mix with the big bag of other things I've struggled with as far back as I can remember (tenacious depression, moderate ADD, growing up gay and gender-confused, having a ****ing crazy family and suicidal mom, etc.). I've been reading books, looking at blogs, videos and online forums galore, have attended a couple of support groups, and have brought up the subject with some real-world and online friends who either are self-described aspies or are in relationships with aspies.

I've also discussed it with the psychiatrist who I've been seeing for the last 20 months or so who diagnosed me with ADD not so long ago? he thinks I could very well have a moderate stripe of Asperger's, but he also didn't know me when I was 12, or 16, or 22 years old, when my social and communication struggles were in full, pungent bloom. I'm now in the middle of filling out forms to submit to another therapist at a center that specifically serves people with Asperger's /ASD to get her opinion, and I'm having difficulty finishing them. Some sections require me to write descriptions of my life history, family, difficulties, etc. as it might relate to the issue of possible Asperger's /ASD, and I'm finding it overwhelming and agonizing to do organize my thoughts well enough to finish. I'm probably making it into a much bigger deal than necessary, driving myself bananas with my perfectionism again, but that's part of my charm.

Will be poking around here a bit more, and maybe within a few weeks I will know if I am an unambiguous member of the aspie-club or not.

 

[IContainMultitudes]

Hi, welcome to Aspies Central!

 

[kasmanaft08]

Welcome! :cloud9:

 

[mutanmion]

Hello back to both of you.

 

[wyverary]

Welcome!

Endless questionnaires and forms...oh boy. I can relate there.

 

[Geordie]

Welcome to Aspies Central.

All the forms, all the bright lights, I hope eventually we'll find a way to overcome them (I also live in a fairly large city myself) so we can lead a happier life

Hopefully things will turn out well for you, mutanmion, regardless of diagnosis status.

 

[Arashi222]

Well we are all glad to have you here. You're more than welcome to stick around. We're a pretty accepting group of people. Hang out dip your toes in the water. I promise we don't bite...much.

 

[mutanmion]

Welcome!

Endless questionnaires and forms...oh boy. I can relate there.

I wasn't sure if this was normal or not (but I could say that about lots of things). The questionnaires are more or less the same as some of the online ones I've seen and taken. I filled them out a couple of weeks ago, and filled them out all over again a few days ago. It's amazing how many of my answers changed. I don't know how any mental health professional can use these things as useful data for a diagnosis.

 

[wyverary]

I wasn't sure if this was normal or not (but I could say that about lots of things). The questionnaires are more or less the same as some of the online ones I've seen and taken. I filled them out a couple of weeks ago, and filled them out all over again a few days ago. It's amazing how many of my answers changed. I don't know how any mental health professional can use these things as useful data for a diagnosis.

What gets me is the thing where they ask the same question several times but worded slightly differently. I always answered them differently because, hey, they were worded differently, and thus (to my mind) demanded different answers! But the psychologist never seemed to believe me when I tried to explain that...

 

[mutanmion]

What gets me is the thing where they ask the same question several times but worded slightly differently. I always answered them differently because, hey, they were worded differently, and thus (to my mind) demanded different answers! But the psychologist never seemed to believe me when I tried to explain that...

I know what you mean. I also was aware of how much I could manipulate my choices so as to better fit the descriptions of Asperger's syndrome if I was so motivated. I don't have that motivation, and was also aware of how drastically differently I would fill out these forms at various stages in my past.

The stuff in these forms that is really difficult for me are the "essay" sections, with requests like": "Describe a typical day of your experiences, thoughts, feelings and actions", or "Please describe your history and development since childhood in terms of the reason you are seeking an evaluation." I could write endless pages answering either of those in absurd detail, complete with flowcharts and footnotes. I've squeezed out some scribbled notes, but have procrastinated and ruminated about these things endlessly in the last couple of weeks. I'm taking it very seriously; maybe that's a good thing.

 

[Kelly]

Welcome to AC!

The stuff in these forms that is really difficult for me are the "essay" sections, with requests like": "Describe a typical day of your experiences, thoughts, feelings and actions", or "Please describe your history and development since childhood in terms of the reason you are seeking an evaluation." I could write endless pages answering either of those in absurd detail, complete with flowcharts and footnotes.

I was the opposite during my assesment, I hate questions like that so almost every question the Dr asked me I would either say "Can you be more specific?", "What do you mean?" or I'd look at my husband with a wtf does she want me to say look and he'd help me. So when she was asking me things like "Can you tell me what your childhood was like?" I straight away asked "Which part?", so she tried to give me a more direct timeframe by saying "How was your school life?" which again I answered with a question..."primary(elementary) or secondary(high) school?". So she suggested I start with primary..again I asked a question..."do you want me to start with my first day or just significant incidents or what?"

Once I was given a very clear/direct question I gave her my answer but it was quite abrupt, total opposite to how I am online where I seem to waffle on and on about nothing and totally lose my point :bounce:

 

[mutanmion]

Welcome to AC!
I was the opposite during my assesment, I hate questions like that so almost every question the Dr asked me I would either say "Can you be more specific?", "What do you mean?" or I'd look at my husband with a wtf does she want me to say look and he'd help me. So when she was asking me things like "Can you tell me what your childhood was like?" I straight away asked "Which part?", so she tried to give me a more direct timeframe by saying "How was your school life?" which again I answered with a question..."primary(elementary) or secondary(high) school?". So she suggested I start with primary..again I asked a question..."do you want me to start with my first day or just significant incidents or what?"

Once I was given a very clear/direct question I gave her my answer but it was quite abrupt, total opposite to how I am online where I seem to waffle on and on about nothing and totally lose my point :bounce:

Well, at least I now know that other people have dealt with assessments, evaluations, & forms. Wasn't sure about that before. I've seen so many people online say that they are self-diagnosed with test results from online Aspie-quizzes quoted in their forum signatures, I was wondering if I was just being a big dufus trying to get an expert opinion when I could just self-diagnose. But self-diagnosising is full of pitfalls; I thought I had a number of things over the years because I matched symptoms lists I 'd seen in popular psychology and self-help books which I now recognize as not at all true.

I'm heading to bed now. Nighty night, all.

 

[Kelly]

Yes I was under the impression that I just had social anxiety and I was just weird, unemotional and childlike because I had tantrums and I thought I was just a bit sensitive to things(like touch, textures, smells etc).

Then I found out about asperger's and it seemed to fit, I took the online tests which all pointed towards being an aspie, then I joined a few forums and reading about other people was like reading about myself. I became self-diagnosed but wanted an official diagnosis more for my own peace of mind because there was always that worry, what if I was wrong?!

I went for a diagnosis and 2 of the tests I'd already taken the AQ and EQ(and a childhood AQ test for my mum) were sent to me along with other forms to fill in before I'd be given an appointment for assessment. From what I've been told the online tests are a good way to get an idea of whether you may fall on the spectrum, if it says you may be an aspie then try and get a diagnosis if you feel you would benefit from one.

For example my husband has ALOT of aspie traits, particularly the obsessions, the sensory issues, some social issues(i.e says things he shouldn't), etc he took the online tests, scored fairly low on the AQ (think it was 27) but it said on another he was borderline really, he was put in the category of broader autistic phenotype so he has autistic tendencies but probably not enough for a diagnosis. As a result and also because his mother is completely against even going for an assessment(she was horrified by the idea) he's decided not to get assessed himself and will just stick with his current bi-polar/personality disorder diagnosis.

So yeah the tests are more a screening tool then a diagnosis tool.

 

[mutanmion]

...So yeah the tests are more a screening tool then a diagnosis tool.

Hi Kelly! I figured that was probably true, but wasn't too sure.

FWIW, it's kind of weird and sad to me that your husband's mother influenced him to not get assessed for Asperger’s, when he already has a diagnosis of bipolar/personality disorder. Does she think the possibility of Asperger’s is something worse, or reflects more badly on her?