Astroganga
Well-Known Member
Hi all
I found this forum by accident. I am a 34 year old female from the UK. I have not yet been diagnosed with Asperger's but am going to get the ball rolling in the next couple of weeks. I first heard of Asperger's as a teenager as there was a male soap character (Roy Cropper) who was rumoured to have been written to suggest Asperger's, though this was never explicitly confirmed or denied by the writers. Fast forward to a few years later and I had a couple of online friends with Asperger's, a lot of things about them reminded me of myself but information about Asperger's was still pretty hard to come by in those days and there was a lot of misinformation around. Such as all those with Asperger's are maths whizzes and all those with Asperger's are extremely highly organised and are sticklers for routine, those were the only two things that didn't fit so I dismissed the possibility for myself until very recently when I looked into it again, did the AQ (scored 44, redid it thinking it must be wrong, got 47), the shortened AQ (got 10/10) and the Aspie quiz where I got 55/200 neurotypical and 168/200 neurodiverse.
I was always different as a child, I used to attend playgroups but would mostly play by myself and not really interact with the other kids. I would bring a pile of tabs I tore off packaging there and go crazy if anyone touched them. In primary school I had the same issues, and would often feel disoriented and like I wasn't really there. I used to pace the edge of the playground non-stop all break and lunchtime and chat with imaginary people, some based off real people, some not. When it came to school work I would struggle to complete tasks, and struggle to retain maths rules but excelled in Art, English and Humanities.
Secondary school was awful, the school is an academy now but I have heard that a lot of the teachers who made my life hell are still there and they are still persecuting those who are different for whatever reason. I was badly bullied and beaten up on the way home on a regular basis for being 'slow' and also for being 'snobby' and thinking I was great, which I didn't. There were also a lot of incidents where other kids wound me up in class, I either answered them back or physically defended myself and the teacher accused me of deliberately winding people up just by being how I was and put me in detention. I was bullied due to my high forehead and big nose and ears, the way I spoke (either flatly or sing song) and the way I walked, stooped forward with arms swinging in wildly different ways, I still walk distinctively but worked on toning it down. I ended up developing a real phobia of school and stopped going for a very long time, the school didn't care as they were glad to be rid of me. Then when I really pushed myself to go in, there was an incident where we had to do a survey under exam conditions-a survey so the school could get extra funding. Those near to me taunted me the entire way through the exam, and the teachers monitoring could see and hear this, and did nothing. When the exam was finished I went into a meltdown, grabbed and threw the perpetrators across the floor and threw desks at them then ran all the way home. The teachers and my head of year were pretty gleeful and wanted to expel me, but due to new rules they couldn't and I stupidly agreed to go back and be taught in isolation. I was developing serious psychiatric problems due to the past few years of bullying, by teachers and students and just feeling and thinking 'wrongly' according to everyone else, and I had two breakdowns in the space of a few months. I ended up in an almost catatonic state, accompanied by a constant state of anxiety. Eventually I was admitted to a psychiatric day unit for several months, and hastily discharged when some medication they tried me on seemed to work. It didn't address any of my underlying problems at all.
In the past I have tried to seek help for my coordination difficulties, my social difficulties, my problems carrying out some sequences of tasks and have always hit a brick wall called doctors blaming everything on depression and a different dose or different type of meds being the solution. I got referred to a counsellor and she just didn't get me and kept saying what I told her was not rational.
I used to have a number of close friendships though I would often have falling outs with them for saying something really blunt or making inappropriate jokes or turning up at their house or flat at midnight and not seeing an issue with that. It also doesnt come naturally to me to ask how someone is doing, I have to prompt myself. I am still friends with some of those friends online but to be honest over the years, my social difficulties have worsened and I used to think I could 'read' people's non-verbal cues well but a number of incidents in the past few years has made me realise, that I get it wrong more often than not.
I recently confided in my dad, several other family members and friends about my suspicions about me having Asperger's, I thought they would doubt me or think I was being a hypochondriac-but they were not remotely surprised at all and one old school friend who works with ASD kids said looking back at how I was as a child and the kids she works with, she would be very surprised if Asperger's was not the correct diagnosis for me. So the fact I am not the only one thinking this, helps spur me on in chasing a diagnosis. Still any experiences of being diagnosed in the UK as an adult, on the NHS would be very helpful. Thanks xx
I found this forum by accident. I am a 34 year old female from the UK. I have not yet been diagnosed with Asperger's but am going to get the ball rolling in the next couple of weeks. I first heard of Asperger's as a teenager as there was a male soap character (Roy Cropper) who was rumoured to have been written to suggest Asperger's, though this was never explicitly confirmed or denied by the writers. Fast forward to a few years later and I had a couple of online friends with Asperger's, a lot of things about them reminded me of myself but information about Asperger's was still pretty hard to come by in those days and there was a lot of misinformation around. Such as all those with Asperger's are maths whizzes and all those with Asperger's are extremely highly organised and are sticklers for routine, those were the only two things that didn't fit so I dismissed the possibility for myself until very recently when I looked into it again, did the AQ (scored 44, redid it thinking it must be wrong, got 47), the shortened AQ (got 10/10) and the Aspie quiz where I got 55/200 neurotypical and 168/200 neurodiverse.
I was always different as a child, I used to attend playgroups but would mostly play by myself and not really interact with the other kids. I would bring a pile of tabs I tore off packaging there and go crazy if anyone touched them. In primary school I had the same issues, and would often feel disoriented and like I wasn't really there. I used to pace the edge of the playground non-stop all break and lunchtime and chat with imaginary people, some based off real people, some not. When it came to school work I would struggle to complete tasks, and struggle to retain maths rules but excelled in Art, English and Humanities.
Secondary school was awful, the school is an academy now but I have heard that a lot of the teachers who made my life hell are still there and they are still persecuting those who are different for whatever reason. I was badly bullied and beaten up on the way home on a regular basis for being 'slow' and also for being 'snobby' and thinking I was great, which I didn't. There were also a lot of incidents where other kids wound me up in class, I either answered them back or physically defended myself and the teacher accused me of deliberately winding people up just by being how I was and put me in detention. I was bullied due to my high forehead and big nose and ears, the way I spoke (either flatly or sing song) and the way I walked, stooped forward with arms swinging in wildly different ways, I still walk distinctively but worked on toning it down. I ended up developing a real phobia of school and stopped going for a very long time, the school didn't care as they were glad to be rid of me. Then when I really pushed myself to go in, there was an incident where we had to do a survey under exam conditions-a survey so the school could get extra funding. Those near to me taunted me the entire way through the exam, and the teachers monitoring could see and hear this, and did nothing. When the exam was finished I went into a meltdown, grabbed and threw the perpetrators across the floor and threw desks at them then ran all the way home. The teachers and my head of year were pretty gleeful and wanted to expel me, but due to new rules they couldn't and I stupidly agreed to go back and be taught in isolation. I was developing serious psychiatric problems due to the past few years of bullying, by teachers and students and just feeling and thinking 'wrongly' according to everyone else, and I had two breakdowns in the space of a few months. I ended up in an almost catatonic state, accompanied by a constant state of anxiety. Eventually I was admitted to a psychiatric day unit for several months, and hastily discharged when some medication they tried me on seemed to work. It didn't address any of my underlying problems at all.
In the past I have tried to seek help for my coordination difficulties, my social difficulties, my problems carrying out some sequences of tasks and have always hit a brick wall called doctors blaming everything on depression and a different dose or different type of meds being the solution. I got referred to a counsellor and she just didn't get me and kept saying what I told her was not rational.
I used to have a number of close friendships though I would often have falling outs with them for saying something really blunt or making inappropriate jokes or turning up at their house or flat at midnight and not seeing an issue with that. It also doesnt come naturally to me to ask how someone is doing, I have to prompt myself. I am still friends with some of those friends online but to be honest over the years, my social difficulties have worsened and I used to think I could 'read' people's non-verbal cues well but a number of incidents in the past few years has made me realise, that I get it wrong more often than not.
I recently confided in my dad, several other family members and friends about my suspicions about me having Asperger's, I thought they would doubt me or think I was being a hypochondriac-but they were not remotely surprised at all and one old school friend who works with ASD kids said looking back at how I was as a child and the kids she works with, she would be very surprised if Asperger's was not the correct diagnosis for me. So the fact I am not the only one thinking this, helps spur me on in chasing a diagnosis. Still any experiences of being diagnosed in the UK as an adult, on the NHS would be very helpful. Thanks xx
