Hello I think

[Bobbi]

I am adult who was never formally diagnosed with Aspergers, though I did discuss it with a psychologist and he did not disagree. Aspergers has ruined my life, despite the difficulties I have managed to get a Masters degree. The most disastrous part is not having friends, or keeping them, and just not able to form communication properly for others to follow me, it's like my words jumble, and come out slower, or sometimes I just say crazy stuff. I always felt I was just shy, but it's more than that. I think after awhile I became standoffish because I got tired of people looking at me weird. I never learned to really speak slang, or to dance until I was in college and put a concerted effort into it. Also I use to have dressing errors, which got me teased as well. Now I cope. There is no real support. It doesn't help that i am not a white male, people accept a white male with aspergers, being black, female and nerdy, no. Anyway. Just checking in, introducing me.

 

[Suzanne]

Hi Bobbi

I am also not formally diagnosed and feel often how you feel and my growing up years was an absolute nightmare and like you, used to think I was just very shy, but there was always something that niggled me, thinking: it is more than shyness, because with the right kind of people, I am fine and I mean: immediately fine and can just be a "normal" person and infact, the person reassures me that they consider me normal.

What always used to frustrate me, was it would be the last day of any function etc, that I would find one potential friend, but then it was time to go and I had NO IDEA how to keep that friendship going and so, away they would go and this has been my lot throughout my life; just grasping a tiny bit of what it would be like to have a friend and then, not being able to grasp hold of it for long.

I do have a friend now. She is much older than me and we suspect that she could have a bit of aspergers and it is actually refreshing when she texts and says: I worry that I said something to offend someone, because I get that and we are just on the same page and she is really clumsy that it has me laughing.

This is an amazing forum, so get those threads going ie posts.

 

[Starfire]

Hi Bobbi, welcome to the forum!

 

[Nitro]

 

[tree]

 

[Warmheart]

Hello Bobbi, welcome!

 

[Beguiling Orbit]

Welcome, @Bobbi! Glad you're here. I'm pretty sure that Asperger's doesn't ruin our lives; NTs' overwhelming negative reactions to our neurodivergent wiring and their inability to deal with our differences is what can "ruin our lives." I choose to not let that happen to me. If they can't deal with my different way of looking at the world, I consider it their problem, not mine. With that said: