Mossgreen
New Member
Hello, (very sorry, I like writing detailed.)
I usually don't comment on the Internet since that's not easily controllable and obviously not very private, but I could really use some advice, if you don't mind.
I was recently diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, but am still sceptical.
I was initially being viewed for social anxiety as I was having 'nervous breakdowns', as we will call them, but the doctors told me it looked more like I was on the Spectrum.
After 2 appointments, 1 testing and 2 questionnaires, I was told I was getting the diagnosis. Still, I am sceptical, as I had the impression that they might have misunderstood me and I believe it was too brief to actually say for sure that I am autistic. It is noteworthy that I learned a lot about Autism inbetween the appointments, which might have subconsciously influenced my behavior, as it would have been nice to have a definition and justification for the way I am, and that the medical report is also pretty brief. For example, they mention 'missed the cut-off number of childhood autism symptoms by 2 points, but shows significant amount of with autism associated symptoms', but do not mention which autism criteria specifically is met here.
However, since I don't know any diagnosed people around me, I wanted to ask for advice on here:
Contra
1. I am pretty sure I can read facial expressions just fine and understand sarcasm and irony, therefore knowing the purpose of different intonation (right word? - Very sorry, English is not my first language).
2. I have friends and have never had problems keeping friendships until puberty when everyone seemed to drift into specific interests like parties and relationships while I didn't.
3. I have had the feeling that I was more passionate than others, but I wouldn't say my interests were incredibly unusually intense. If anything, then they'd be unusual for my age (Horror movies, especially Stephen King's It at 11 or learning everything about Oscar Wilde's life at 15. I have also always been fascinated by language and storytelling; my interest in correcting spelling mistakes has been the reason of me being called a smartmouth before, though not necessarily in a negative way.)
4. Therefore, I have also always had a vivid imagination and imaginative play has been my favorite way of playing.
5. I like physical contact
6. I only do not like eye contact with strangers as I am 'looking into their soul', but I cannot guarantee that this has always been that way.
7. I am positive I do not have sensory issues.
8. I believe I myself show a normal amount of facial expression and intonation.
9. I do not have a clearly defined "social battery". I have had one before, I would say, but today I could be considered pretty durable. It can only become a bit critical throughout a longer period of time if I don't have enough privacy and a place to be alone in.
Pro
1. I have had repetitive behaviors like my parents having to read a specific story to me every night as a toddler, watching specific movies over and over until I was sick of them or making noises in my teenage years (Not much more though).
2. I struggle to initiate contact and respond as expected (body language, correct facial expressions, eye contact, talking, or simply not confident enough, whatever it might be) to others (strangers) trying to build up contact to me for whatever reason. *
3. I am very conform to rules. (But I wouldn't necessarily say it is because it gives me order and security, but rather because I enjoy control as I despise mistakes.) This conformity means I do not drink or do drugs or skip classes, which does not make me fun at parties (which is a joke as I have never been to a real party).
4. In addition, I seemed to have a understanding of literature and language that a lot of other peers did not show.
5. I have a more unusual sense of style and all my clothes have to meet specific criteria.
Noteworthy: *
As a toddler I was not interested in initiating contact, I much rather observed others, but when others approached me I usually interacted with them appropriately and was able to uphold a friendship without problems.
I believe the problem with finding friends in later years is that adolescents are much more personal and indirect than children who just come to you, play with you once and call you their friend. They are much more open-minded as they are still exploring the world, their teenaged versions however limit their number of interests drastically and expect you to work the same way as them - shown by small talk (which disinterests me) and similar body language - in order to let you into phase 1 of getting-to-know-each-other (this is based on my observation, it doesn't have to be true at all). Once I am in phase one, however I did this, I struggle to continue as I don't know what the 'social protocol' sees as acceptable.
With this information, my question is: can any of you perhaps relate or would you say it doesn't sound much like autism but more like a childhood problem?
I usually don't comment on the Internet since that's not easily controllable and obviously not very private, but I could really use some advice, if you don't mind.
I was recently diagnosed with Autism Spectrum Disorder, but am still sceptical.
I was initially being viewed for social anxiety as I was having 'nervous breakdowns', as we will call them, but the doctors told me it looked more like I was on the Spectrum.
After 2 appointments, 1 testing and 2 questionnaires, I was told I was getting the diagnosis. Still, I am sceptical, as I had the impression that they might have misunderstood me and I believe it was too brief to actually say for sure that I am autistic. It is noteworthy that I learned a lot about Autism inbetween the appointments, which might have subconsciously influenced my behavior, as it would have been nice to have a definition and justification for the way I am, and that the medical report is also pretty brief. For example, they mention 'missed the cut-off number of childhood autism symptoms by 2 points, but shows significant amount of with autism associated symptoms', but do not mention which autism criteria specifically is met here.
However, since I don't know any diagnosed people around me, I wanted to ask for advice on here:
Contra
1. I am pretty sure I can read facial expressions just fine and understand sarcasm and irony, therefore knowing the purpose of different intonation (right word? - Very sorry, English is not my first language).
2. I have friends and have never had problems keeping friendships until puberty when everyone seemed to drift into specific interests like parties and relationships while I didn't.
3. I have had the feeling that I was more passionate than others, but I wouldn't say my interests were incredibly unusually intense. If anything, then they'd be unusual for my age (Horror movies, especially Stephen King's It at 11 or learning everything about Oscar Wilde's life at 15. I have also always been fascinated by language and storytelling; my interest in correcting spelling mistakes has been the reason of me being called a smartmouth before, though not necessarily in a negative way.)
4. Therefore, I have also always had a vivid imagination and imaginative play has been my favorite way of playing.
5. I like physical contact
6. I only do not like eye contact with strangers as I am 'looking into their soul', but I cannot guarantee that this has always been that way.
7. I am positive I do not have sensory issues.
8. I believe I myself show a normal amount of facial expression and intonation.
9. I do not have a clearly defined "social battery". I have had one before, I would say, but today I could be considered pretty durable. It can only become a bit critical throughout a longer period of time if I don't have enough privacy and a place to be alone in.
Pro
1. I have had repetitive behaviors like my parents having to read a specific story to me every night as a toddler, watching specific movies over and over until I was sick of them or making noises in my teenage years (Not much more though).
2. I struggle to initiate contact and respond as expected (body language, correct facial expressions, eye contact, talking, or simply not confident enough, whatever it might be) to others (strangers) trying to build up contact to me for whatever reason. *
3. I am very conform to rules. (But I wouldn't necessarily say it is because it gives me order and security, but rather because I enjoy control as I despise mistakes.) This conformity means I do not drink or do drugs or skip classes, which does not make me fun at parties (which is a joke as I have never been to a real party).
4. In addition, I seemed to have a understanding of literature and language that a lot of other peers did not show.
5. I have a more unusual sense of style and all my clothes have to meet specific criteria.
Noteworthy: *
As a toddler I was not interested in initiating contact, I much rather observed others, but when others approached me I usually interacted with them appropriately and was able to uphold a friendship without problems.
I believe the problem with finding friends in later years is that adolescents are much more personal and indirect than children who just come to you, play with you once and call you their friend. They are much more open-minded as they are still exploring the world, their teenaged versions however limit their number of interests drastically and expect you to work the same way as them - shown by small talk (which disinterests me) and similar body language - in order to let you into phase 1 of getting-to-know-each-other (this is based on my observation, it doesn't have to be true at all). Once I am in phase one, however I did this, I struggle to continue as I don't know what the 'social protocol' sees as acceptable.
With this information, my question is: can any of you perhaps relate or would you say it doesn't sound much like autism but more like a childhood problem?
