Hello - I've come for your wisdom

[Jp1993]

Hello!

I'm 23 and recently decided to go to a counsellor on the back of certain aspects of my life not improving as I progress through to being an adult. I orginally took up asking her about if I had ADHD because I didn't do very well at school, so she asked me a bunch of questions and ended with: I think you might have mild aspergers, but not ADHD.

She seemed reluctant to pass me forward to anyone for an official diagnosis, and to be honest, I'm not sure I should have one. Seems like there is a lot of stigma attached to it. I don't want that.

I'm starting University next year, so I suppose it could help with extra time for exams and extra support, but I just don't know.

Anyone been in a similar postion?

Thanks guys.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

Hi, and welcome

In regards to the stigma of diagnosis, people will only know (and thus can only stigmatise you) if you tell them. You are no more required to 'disclose' when you have an official diagnoses than when it's just a suspicion or self-diagnosis. So I would say, don't let the possible stigma put you off, when considering if you want a diagnosis, concentrate on whether you want it for yourself.

Would it give you some sort of validation or peace of mind? Are you concerned about the potential for aspergers traits making it difficult for you to work without certain support?

As for uni, it depends on where you live, but here in England the thing that helped me most was having a mentor. My mentor basically helped me sort my life out each week, as well as being a sort of therapist who I could discuss any problems with. She helped with everything from planning out time management for my assignments, helping me write an email to the person I wanted as my thesis supervisor, talking to a couple of lecturers whose classes I was having difficulties in about how to help me cope with noisy group work and debate seminars, she even offered to acompany me to the clubs and societies fair and the first meetups of the groups I joined. I don't know how I would have coped without her.

You also get extra time in exams and computer access. I already had that since I'm dyslexic, but it helps a lot

 

[Jp1993]

Hi, and welcome

In regards to the stigma of diagnosis, people will only know (and thus can only stigmatise you) if you tell them. You are no more required to 'disclose' when you have an official diagnoses than when it's just a suspicion or self-diagnosis. So I would say, don't let the possible stigma put you off, when considering if you want a diagnosis, concentrate on whether you want it for yourself.

Would it give you some sort of validation or peace of mind? Are you concerned about the potential for aspergers traits making it difficult for you to work without certain support?

As for uni, it depends on where you live, but here in England the thing that helped me most was having a mentor. My mentor basically helped me sort my life out each week, as well as being a sort of therapist who I could discuss any problems with. She helped with everything from planning out time management for my assignments, helping me write an email to the person I wanted as my thesis supervisor, talking to a couple of lecturers whose classes I was having difficulties in about how to help me cope with noisy group work and debate seminars, she even offered to acompany me to the clubs and societies fair and the first meetups of the groups I joined. I don't know how I would have coped without her.

You also get extra time in exams and computer access. I already had that since I'm dyslexic, but it helps a lot

Thanks for getting back so quickly. It would be validating to have a dignosis. I'm a little worried though because of the existing axiom "every diagnosis needs a cure". I don't need a cure, I'm not even totally convinced I need help organising my life and being around other people. I'm actually, rather effective at making friends, despite whether I want them or not.

I think where I struggle is organising my thoughts on the spot. I really have a shocking working memory and am really distracted by noises when reading. Also find it really difficult when the attention is on me in a classroom, usually means that I start uttering jibberish. Also really struggle to read for prolonged periods of time in any context, and to take in what I'm reading. I don't have issues with reading words or anything like that, I have an excellent vocabulary, I did before I went back to college, but since then it has skyrocketed. I think these things could cause a few issues at University (I am in England). I don't want it holding me back.

The counsellor doesn't seem to think it's a big issue, so I feel unconfident to go up against her and ask for an assessment.

 

[NothingToSeeHere]

I can understand why you are worried about the potential assumption of 'needing a cure', but I have found that is not how people really think of aspergers, at least not in more educated environments. Many of us are perfectly capable of coping by ourselves without any assistance, or merely some minor adjustments and understanding. The people who diagnosed me where very aware of the fact that I was perfectly capable of managing in day to day life (I had already worked and received a First Class BSc), and there was no talk of 'treatment' or anything like that, when talking about how diagnosis would help me we talked about validation, self-esteem, and self understanding.

The disability support team at my uni explained to me what support they could provide and then I told them what I wanted, the same with my mentor. The emphasis is on giving you want you want and need, with plenty of flexibility as your needs change, rather than on what they think you should need. My mentor also helped with coaching me on things like giving presentations (I stammer badly when under stress) and speaking up in debates (I have problems with expressing my thoughts understandably on the spot).

It's not up to your counsellor to decide if it is a big issue, it is up to you! If you don't feel confident asking her for a diagnosis, you could go to your GP, or contact your prosepctive uni's disability team, who could probably arrange a diagnosis for you far more quickly than through your cousellor. I went to my GP initially but my diagnosis was actully arranged by my uni (where I was about to start an MSc), they set up my initial assessment apointment just 3 weeks after I spoke to them about it.

 

[Jp1993]

I can understand why you are worried about the potential assumption of 'needing a cure', but I have found that is not how people really think of aspergers, at least not in more educated environments. Many of us are perfectly capable of coping by ourselves without any assistance, or merely some minor adjustments and understanding. The people who diagnosed me where very aware of the fact that I was perfectly capable of managing in day to day life (I had already worked and received a First Class BSc), and there was no talk of 'treatment' or anything like that, when talking about how diagnosis would help me we talked about validation, self-esteem, and self understanding.

The disability support team at my uni explained to me what support they could provide and then I told them what I wanted, the same with my mentor. The emphasis is on giving you want you want and need, with plenty of flexibility as your needs change, rather than on what they think you should need. My mentor also helped with coaching me on things like giving presentations (I stammer badly when under stress) and speaking up in debates (I have problems with expressing my thoughts understandably on the spot).

It's not up to your counsellor to decide if it is a big issue, it is up to you! If you don't feel confident asking her for a diagnosis, you could go to your GP, or contact your prosepctive uni's disability team, who could probably arrange a diagnosis for you far more quickly than through your cousellor. I went to my GP initially but my diagnosis was actully arranged by my uni (where I was about to start an MSc), they set up my initial assessment apointment just 3 weeks after I spoke to them about it.

Hey thanks again,

I just emailed the disability support team. I'll see what they say about it.

Thanks for the information, I really appreciate it!

 

[Tom]

Hi & welcome. Honestly, I would avoid the label if possible. Instead of trying to get special accommodations you can develop your own coping strategies.

 

[Cali Cat]

Welcome! Hope you enjoy the forum.

I would seek a formal diagnosis, but keep the results private if it turns out you really do have Asperger's. You may not. One therapist's opinion is inconclusive.