Hi !
First, I don't like introducing myself because I know I won't keep contact with many people, but I liked this forum a lot, and I think it will really help me to understand myself better, so I might give a chance, but don't be angry if I don't answer, please.
My main problems, and the reason I'm looking for an Asperger's diagnosis are:
Difficulty with non-verbal and verbal communication.
For the most time speaking with people I may seem lost, I don't understand little things they do to communicate, and even some times when they are direct I won't understand. Example: It took a girl tree times speaking the same phrase to me at a party that she liked me, and I still didn't get it, leading to her talking to her friend that I was odd, and my friend at the time explaining why (she didn't really know what to say, she just said I was eccentric and a little "slow" as she said.)
Also understanding directions, or some really long phrases, I forget it easily when people talk to me, but reading is better. Also I write MUCH better than I talk.
I have other better examples but I will try to give at least one for each main thing.
Routinized behaviors
Most of my day is a routine that I want to keep going. When I walked to school I never have taken another way, even if there was two, I walked the same road, the same time, beginning to end. That applies to daily activities too, but not much strict.
Does this includes OCD ? I'm also not diagnosed but that I'm more sure I have. People can't enter my room with shoes or I have to clean it again, among other things I do, nothing really life obstructing.
Obsessive thoughts and interests
This is me.
I won't say I have JUST one since childhood or that I only focus on one today. My interests vary to a number of reasons, but they are always deep, I need to know almost everything, and I LOVE to do it. I may go HOURS, as, 10-16-18 hours on one subject, an entire week, month or year depending as I had other times.
Then I start that monologue with people that they get bored about my interests and seems odd because I just want to inform everyone and just talk about something I like.
About thoughts. Sleeping is hard, very hard, because I keep thinking about what I learned on the day, plan my entire next day, think of consequences, weigh what should I do or not, that kind of thing.
Avoidance of eye contact
I can look at a person eye, and even talk if I'm the one talking, but I cannot keep eye contact for more than 3/4 seconds without panicking about the situation, not knowing what to do with my body, where to look on the persons face, so I mostly look around when the person is talking, or to other people, or to the ground. That has led me to people asking A LOT why I wasn't looking, so I go back to looking forced and focused and super awkward.
One time I had this stronger, for months I could not look anyone in the eye, even my mother, without panicking, even if I knew what I was talking, or it was a daily thing like "do this do that" I would just panic with my eyes looking at all directions and blurring my vision. Don't have this anymore, this was with 17, but on more difficult cases I have something close.
And ah, even when I'm talking I still can't look straight to the person on the eyes, but it's more easy to focus being not awkward than listening.
Hypo- or hyper-sensitivity and other sensory problems
Most loud sounds scares me HUGELY, car horns, trains, doors slamming and etc. I can't go to a huge store with many lights for more than 5 minutes, I CAN'T. More than that, more than I could do quickly I just leave, because it becomes unbearable to me, the lights start hurting badly my eyes, my vision gets blurry I become confused and irritated, the music (most that I hate) completes the madness.
When sleeping the fabric needs to be very comfortable, the fact that I pass most of the night just arranging the pillow, my position, the blanket. With clothes the same, some I just can't use, like wool close to the skin.
I would post more, but I just have taken the main from [http://www.reddit.com/r/aspergers/wiki/symptoms] because I'm very tired and to resume my text of 10+ pages for the reasons I think I have Asperger's would take so much time.
PS: Do being born 6 months old (premature) with my mother being 38 at the time also contribute to Autism ?
She also says she think I have Asperger's. Also my brother, who is a psychologist, but we don't talk much and I don't know if he is being serious with me.
Also, from 2009-2011 I was very recluse, almost depressed, I did almost nothing, talked to no one, didn't even gone out with friends, just stayed at my house and read, watched movies etc. I didn't felt bad, and I don't take negative things from that time, it's just that people said I maybe was depressed and for me I was just being me and enjoying time as a young person.
Also, my childhood was most spent with my dogs, I liked to play with other children but I liked better with my dogs and books. I learned to read very young, but it took a long time for me to connect with people, until 6 years old I just hid in a corner in family meetings and talked to NO ONE. I just hugged my legs and keep looking down for 2/3 hours straight.
PS2: I'm the "normal nerd shy" guy, I like very much people, I even try to be respectful and care with the people who shows don't like me very much. I don't make any enemies, just some people don't like me/can't bear me.
The funny thing is, the people I like, I like VERY MUCH. I like being around then and hugging with much affection (I don't like kissing on the cheeks, I think it's very untrue) and even with the people I'm close, sometimes talking is HARD. I mean small talk, or any really, but they know I like then, and I know they like me.
I don't have any problems recognizing people expressions, some may pass without understanding but most of the time I can understand, they even help understanding the verbal part if I don't get it. I mean, smiling, sad, angry, etc I can all get 95% of the time analyzing the context bla bla.
I may have something on my verbal speaking ability, I'm for sure high functioning, I can speak very well and eloquent, BUT if I don't know clearly what I want to say, I may stumble on words and speak to the inside and just sound really bad, no one understands and I have to talk 2, 3 times.
Another huge problem is that I am very ingenuous, people manipulate me and I don't even feel they did.
I'm still thinking if I may have asperger's, I'm not scared to discover I have, it will make so much sense to my life to just know, so then I can live on and mold my life learning with my disabilities.
Some people I saw online on videos (bloggers) seems so much normal than me communicating that I think if they have I must for sure have it too haha.
Think Ladyhawke male version and more awkward talking and that's me I think.
If you have read everything and have something to say, please do. I didn't even write 50% of it, if you think I may have a chance of having something it will help me a lot just to hear, I will be greatly thankful.
Thanks everyone, hope I can learn a lot here.
First, I don't like introducing myself because I know I won't keep contact with many people, but I liked this forum a lot, and I think it will really help me to understand myself better, so I might give a chance, but don't be angry if I don't answer, please.
My main problems, and the reason I'm looking for an Asperger's diagnosis are:
Difficulty with non-verbal and verbal communication.
For the most time speaking with people I may seem lost, I don't understand little things they do to communicate, and even some times when they are direct I won't understand. Example: It took a girl tree times speaking the same phrase to me at a party that she liked me, and I still didn't get it, leading to her talking to her friend that I was odd, and my friend at the time explaining why (she didn't really know what to say, she just said I was eccentric and a little "slow" as she said.)
Also understanding directions, or some really long phrases, I forget it easily when people talk to me, but reading is better. Also I write MUCH better than I talk.
I have other better examples but I will try to give at least one for each main thing.
Routinized behaviors
Most of my day is a routine that I want to keep going. When I walked to school I never have taken another way, even if there was two, I walked the same road, the same time, beginning to end. That applies to daily activities too, but not much strict.
Does this includes OCD ? I'm also not diagnosed but that I'm more sure I have. People can't enter my room with shoes or I have to clean it again, among other things I do, nothing really life obstructing.
Obsessive thoughts and interests
This is me.
I won't say I have JUST one since childhood or that I only focus on one today. My interests vary to a number of reasons, but they are always deep, I need to know almost everything, and I LOVE to do it. I may go HOURS, as, 10-16-18 hours on one subject, an entire week, month or year depending as I had other times.
Then I start that monologue with people that they get bored about my interests and seems odd because I just want to inform everyone and just talk about something I like.
About thoughts. Sleeping is hard, very hard, because I keep thinking about what I learned on the day, plan my entire next day, think of consequences, weigh what should I do or not, that kind of thing.
Avoidance of eye contact
I can look at a person eye, and even talk if I'm the one talking, but I cannot keep eye contact for more than 3/4 seconds without panicking about the situation, not knowing what to do with my body, where to look on the persons face, so I mostly look around when the person is talking, or to other people, or to the ground. That has led me to people asking A LOT why I wasn't looking, so I go back to looking forced and focused and super awkward.
One time I had this stronger, for months I could not look anyone in the eye, even my mother, without panicking, even if I knew what I was talking, or it was a daily thing like "do this do that" I would just panic with my eyes looking at all directions and blurring my vision. Don't have this anymore, this was with 17, but on more difficult cases I have something close.
And ah, even when I'm talking I still can't look straight to the person on the eyes, but it's more easy to focus being not awkward than listening.
Hypo- or hyper-sensitivity and other sensory problems
Most loud sounds scares me HUGELY, car horns, trains, doors slamming and etc. I can't go to a huge store with many lights for more than 5 minutes, I CAN'T. More than that, more than I could do quickly I just leave, because it becomes unbearable to me, the lights start hurting badly my eyes, my vision gets blurry I become confused and irritated, the music (most that I hate) completes the madness.
When sleeping the fabric needs to be very comfortable, the fact that I pass most of the night just arranging the pillow, my position, the blanket. With clothes the same, some I just can't use, like wool close to the skin.
I would post more, but I just have taken the main from [http://www.reddit.com/r/aspergers/wiki/symptoms] because I'm very tired and to resume my text of 10+ pages for the reasons I think I have Asperger's would take so much time.
PS: Do being born 6 months old (premature) with my mother being 38 at the time also contribute to Autism ?
She also says she think I have Asperger's. Also my brother, who is a psychologist, but we don't talk much and I don't know if he is being serious with me.
Also, from 2009-2011 I was very recluse, almost depressed, I did almost nothing, talked to no one, didn't even gone out with friends, just stayed at my house and read, watched movies etc. I didn't felt bad, and I don't take negative things from that time, it's just that people said I maybe was depressed and for me I was just being me and enjoying time as a young person.
Also, my childhood was most spent with my dogs, I liked to play with other children but I liked better with my dogs and books. I learned to read very young, but it took a long time for me to connect with people, until 6 years old I just hid in a corner in family meetings and talked to NO ONE. I just hugged my legs and keep looking down for 2/3 hours straight.
PS2: I'm the "normal nerd shy" guy, I like very much people, I even try to be respectful and care with the people who shows don't like me very much. I don't make any enemies, just some people don't like me/can't bear me.
The funny thing is, the people I like, I like VERY MUCH. I like being around then and hugging with much affection (I don't like kissing on the cheeks, I think it's very untrue) and even with the people I'm close, sometimes talking is HARD. I mean small talk, or any really, but they know I like then, and I know they like me.
I don't have any problems recognizing people expressions, some may pass without understanding but most of the time I can understand, they even help understanding the verbal part if I don't get it. I mean, smiling, sad, angry, etc I can all get 95% of the time analyzing the context bla bla.
I may have something on my verbal speaking ability, I'm for sure high functioning, I can speak very well and eloquent, BUT if I don't know clearly what I want to say, I may stumble on words and speak to the inside and just sound really bad, no one understands and I have to talk 2, 3 times.
Another huge problem is that I am very ingenuous, people manipulate me and I don't even feel they did.
I'm still thinking if I may have asperger's, I'm not scared to discover I have, it will make so much sense to my life to just know, so then I can live on and mold my life learning with my disabilities.
Some people I saw online on videos (bloggers) seems so much normal than me communicating that I think if they have I must for sure have it too haha.
Think Ladyhawke male version and more awkward talking and that's me I think.
If you have read everything and have something to say, please do. I didn't even write 50% of it, if you think I may have a chance of having something it will help me a lot just to hear, I will be greatly thankful.
Thanks everyone, hope I can learn a lot here.
