Hello my name is Maciej (read Magic)

[UseQ]

Hello,
I'm a father of a 8 year old diagnosed with ASD last year, he probably would be on Aspergers side of spectrum but now its just ASD.
Looking for information as currently we are strugling with school. He's on reduced hours for most of the last 3 years due to behaviour issues (tantrums), waiting for specialist placment but don't have to tell you it's a loooong waiting list.
All EHCP in place, in theorty he has his own teacher ... but still most of the time he refuses to work (not that he can't compleate the task with ease)
So basically hoping to find some solution as school is unable to help....

 

[Luca]

Witamy

I'm not a parent, so I probably wouldn't have the best advice on this issue, unfortunately. There are parents of autistic children on here, and autistic parents themselves, who may be able to advise you better about children in school.

But a question I would ask the school is if he is being bullied or has difficulty interacting with other children? When I was a child in school, bullying had a very negative impact on my ability to do my schoolwork, and I would often refuse to go to school, or refuse to work. If it isn't bullying, there may be something else going on in the classroom that is distracting him or causing emotional distress that makes it difficult to focus. Do you know if the school environment is noisy or overstimulating in some ways, or if his teacher has a teaching approach that doesn't work too well with his learning style? (A lot of us autistic people are visual learners as opposed to auditory learners.)

Sorry if I wasn't that helpful, that is the best advice I can really offer. I hope some parents on here can give you more answers. Otherwise, I hope you enjoy being here, there is a lot to learn from a lot of very wise and experienced people. I have certainly learned a lot!

Dobrego dnia i powodzenia.

Spoiler

 

[Nitro]

 

[UseQ]

Hi,
no his a bit to young to be bullied, and he would tell us. He is struggling with his interactions, he want's to, but it has to be on his terms, and when it isn't he gets upset (overall not very good with kids his age, preffers older children).
School is a dificult part, I can't say they don't try but most of solutiona are short lived, it works for some time and the they just stop. We're having a feeling school is trying to just get rid of him (ehh long story) We are at it for last 3 years ... and honestly getting desperate at this point.
Thank you for your input, every little helps.
Milego dnia

Spoiler

 

[Rodafina]

Hello and welcome. I hope that we can be supportive to you and your child.

All EHCP in place

Could you say a little more about what this means?

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

Sounds like my youngest son while in grade school, have patience both he and I got through it he is now a week away from being a father.

 

[UseQ]

Hello and welcome. I hope that we can be supportive to you and your child.



Could you say a little more about what this means?

Educational Health and Care Plan, document drafted with school SENco/council/doctors that identifies all the children needs and provisions required for child. It has goals he is working torward etc

 

[UseQ]

Sounds like my youngest son while in grade school, have patience both he and I got through it he is now a week away from being a father.

Well, I have loads ... but school doesn't, 2hr at school is not much, he is missing loads of subjects (geography, history) I'm worried it will have impact on his future. and I just looking for ways to help him

 

[Rodafina]

How does your child spend his time outside of school? You said he has reduced hours there. How is this time filled?

Does he ever have the opportunity to be in a one to one learning environment?

 

[UseQ]

How does your child spend his time outside of school? You said he has reduced hours there. How is this time filled?

Does he ever have the opportunity to be in a one to one learning environment?

It depends ussualy, he is at home playing in the garden or on his phones/laptops (he loves his tech and fox)
In theory at school he does work 1 to 1 in classroom or being taken to NEST(special room) , we are waiting for Tuition provided by council but last time we have been told none avail in our area.
thing is, when me or my wife are around he doesn't missbehave, he might moan about doing work but will do it

 

[tree]

 

[Rodafina]

Unfortunately, your experience highlights the problem that, around the entire world, many schools have a difficult time meeting the needs of students with high needs. I suppose it goes against the system of having 1 to 2 teachers for an entire classroom. This is not to excuse schools from overlooking students with individual needs, but it is so common that The school systems and the teachers have a difficult time making this a reality.

With autism, because it can present itself in such a variety of ways and there can be unbalanced skill development, it can be especially difficult to meet the needs of autistic children. Much of the prevailing research, you’ll find in talking to people on the site, is antithetical and detrimental to healthy development of an autistic child (i.e., ABA therapy).

So, while it is important to try to tap into and exhaust any resources available to you through school, it might be a more effective use of your time to find outside supports. Like being here for example and learning about the challenges that autistic people meet throughout their lives, hearing about their histories as children, and trying to Relate our experiences to that of your son.

 

[Kisa the tea]

Hello and welcome to the forum! I hope you're able to find answers and helpful advice here!

 

[Ronald Zeeman]

MY son was not autistic, school was too easy for him the disability label. really bothered him. causing him to lose interest in school in grade school he missed a lot of days. Both of us were at work while thus was going on so we found out quickly we were on our own. First thing I did was give him a quicky IQ test. He tested 130 and immediately his self-esteem grew. he realized he was not stupid. we got him some extra schooling in math and English. I told him just follow my advice and we would show him the way to get educated. he followed my advice to the letter. Had to ignore the school's system. do it my way? It worked? got him through college. He is now a electrical mechanical technologist. 3 years of college. fiancé has a PhD in education.

 

[VictorR]

Welcome!

I agree with Luca's suggestions that it sounds like there's one or more things in the school environment that he is struggling with, and the "behavioral issues" is his way of communicating distress.

Being able to identify and remove or mitigate those stressors (which could appear to others to be innocuous and thus not thought of as potential triggers / stressors) would likely go a long way.

However, to do so, you would need to have someone who is able to have patience and closely observe to try to identify those stressors.

Two books which you may find useful and go more into depth on this include:

https://www.autismforums.com/resources/uniquely-human.198/
https://www.autismforums.com/resources/navigating-autism.203/
Best wishes.

 

[UseQ]

Unfortunately, your experience highlights the problem that, around the entire world, many schools have a difficult time meeting the needs of students with high needs. I suppose it goes against the system of having 1 to 2 teachers for an entire classroom. This is not to excuse schools from overlooking students with individual needs, but it is so common that The school systems and the teachers have a difficult time making this a reality.

With autism, because it can present itself in such a variety of ways and there can be unbalanced skill development, it can be especially difficult to meet the needs of autistic children. Much of the prevailing research, you’ll find in talking to people on the site, is antithetical and detrimental to healthy development of an autistic child (i.e., ABA therapy).

So, while it is important to try to tap into and exhaust any resources available to you through school, it might be a more effective use of your time to find outside supports. Like being here for example and learning about the challenges that autistic people meet throughout their lives, hearing about their histories as children, and trying to Relate our experiences to that of your son.

Yes I do understand that school are unable to cope with needs of autistic children, and it's unreasonable to require them to swap everything round for one child. Thats why I'm looking for alternative options of support, therapy maybe but when asked school and SEND support teachers I just been told "we dont know"

 

[Aspychata]

Basically l homeschooled my daughter. However l understand not everyone can do this, and the state l lived in didn't have to many hoops to jump thru. We study things she enjoyed, and spent way more time reading and writing, what she loved doing. We weren't regulated by bells, peer pressure, early hours, regulations. She took martial arts, ice skating, violin, piano. We took field trips. The emphasis wasn't on grades, it was on learning, including life skills such as cooking, sewing, and her hobbies. We later found a performing arts public high school, which rounded out her social skills and helped with her confidence. She discovered she wasn't a singer, but she was able to deal with this rejection in a mature way. She now was accepted for graduate studies and l can finally exhale. Lol. These young adults are easily bored by routines, and it's work to keep them on track. But the big part of the puzzle is keeping them responsible to take care of themselves and igniting their passions which can be many.

She also did some online education which also was helpful.