Nacho
Well-Known Member
Hello guys.
First of all, my name is Nacho, I'm a 18 year old male and was born in Spain. I found this forum yesterday night researching for some books about Asperger. I'm a self-diagnosed Asperger -or at least that has been my conclusion, I will explain later about it-.
A month ago, I went on a trip to a beach here in Spain, in a crowded bus, a public bus, with a bunch of random people with me. I felt nervous since the very start, not to mention that I had a fat lady sitting besides me, which made the trip more uncomfortable, she was putting her leg over me when she fell asleep etc. Then they put a very violent film and too loud for me. Everything was bad. It got to a point where I had to get the courage to go to the front seat and ask the driver to stop nervously. He told me he would stop soon and I was the only one who got out of the bus. I went to a bathroom fast and puked: I realized something was wrong, since this had never happened.
After this incident, I started thinking about my past, all the other traumatizing things that had happened; and in fact, a lot have. I've been bullied several times in my school, I was considered one of the brilliant students of the class. Teachers laughed in front of all my classmates -as unbelievable as this is, it's true- because I loved computer games since I was a kid. I remember what my biology teacher told me in 10th grade, "hey Nacho, so tell me -in front of the class- how many hours do you play video games every day? HAHAHAHA" I could not be more embarrased at that moment. The worst part is that the teacher found out about it because my mom and her made a CONFIDENTIAL appointment to talk about me and my problems.
Anyways, couple weeks ago, on another trip solely with my mother in our only family's car, we were going to visit my granny, who is staying 500km away from us. 40 minutes into the road I started panicking, breathing fastly and asked to pull over. This was the first time she found out about my condition, I never told her anything that had happened to me of this sort. I explained her how I felt, that a lot things made me nervous, etc -I will explain below-.
I've been researching about the spectrum a lot recently, and just yesterday night I found about the forum. Before going to sleep, I started reading the forums. I started crying when I read people's thoughts and realizing that they were very similar to mine. This is why I decided to come and present myself to the forums.
Basically a lot of things make me uncomfortable. When I see an injured animal or pet, I cry to sleep all night. Once, I found a stray cat dead in the middle of the street with a friend. I personally have a cat which I love more than I would ever love 95% of the people I know -except my parents and grandma- and when I found that cat I had nigthmares and couldn't stop crying for three days. Never told anyone though. I am kind of detached to people, I care about very few people, I have one true friend and my parents and my grandmother; I have another grandmother but I can't seem to love her. I often thought this was called psychopathy, but this was discarded because I actually love the previously explained people.
There is too much that I feel like writing here, but I think this is a long-enough presentation. I will write more in other posts.
Thank you for reading, this has been hard to write, I feel kind of vulnerable now.
Nacho
First of all, my name is Nacho, I'm a 18 year old male and was born in Spain. I found this forum yesterday night researching for some books about Asperger. I'm a self-diagnosed Asperger -or at least that has been my conclusion, I will explain later about it-.
A month ago, I went on a trip to a beach here in Spain, in a crowded bus, a public bus, with a bunch of random people with me. I felt nervous since the very start, not to mention that I had a fat lady sitting besides me, which made the trip more uncomfortable, she was putting her leg over me when she fell asleep etc. Then they put a very violent film and too loud for me. Everything was bad. It got to a point where I had to get the courage to go to the front seat and ask the driver to stop nervously. He told me he would stop soon and I was the only one who got out of the bus. I went to a bathroom fast and puked: I realized something was wrong, since this had never happened.
After this incident, I started thinking about my past, all the other traumatizing things that had happened; and in fact, a lot have. I've been bullied several times in my school, I was considered one of the brilliant students of the class. Teachers laughed in front of all my classmates -as unbelievable as this is, it's true- because I loved computer games since I was a kid. I remember what my biology teacher told me in 10th grade, "hey Nacho, so tell me -in front of the class- how many hours do you play video games every day? HAHAHAHA" I could not be more embarrased at that moment. The worst part is that the teacher found out about it because my mom and her made a CONFIDENTIAL appointment to talk about me and my problems.
Anyways, couple weeks ago, on another trip solely with my mother in our only family's car, we were going to visit my granny, who is staying 500km away from us. 40 minutes into the road I started panicking, breathing fastly and asked to pull over. This was the first time she found out about my condition, I never told her anything that had happened to me of this sort. I explained her how I felt, that a lot things made me nervous, etc -I will explain below-.
I've been researching about the spectrum a lot recently, and just yesterday night I found about the forum. Before going to sleep, I started reading the forums. I started crying when I read people's thoughts and realizing that they were very similar to mine. This is why I decided to come and present myself to the forums.
Basically a lot of things make me uncomfortable. When I see an injured animal or pet, I cry to sleep all night. Once, I found a stray cat dead in the middle of the street with a friend. I personally have a cat which I love more than I would ever love 95% of the people I know -except my parents and grandma- and when I found that cat I had nigthmares and couldn't stop crying for three days. Never told anyone though. I am kind of detached to people, I care about very few people, I have one true friend and my parents and my grandmother; I have another grandmother but I can't seem to love her. I often thought this was called psychopathy, but this was discarded because I actually love the previously explained people.
There is too much that I feel like writing here, but I think this is a long-enough presentation. I will write more in other posts.
Thank you for reading, this has been hard to write, I feel kind of vulnerable now.
Nacho
yesterday night I read your thread "crying". It is a honor to meet you.
