Hello All,
I have searched around the internet and feel like this is a place that I can talk and people might listen. My whole life I have always felt different and was the odd person out. I prided myself on being weird and different in High School and actually made "friends" and had an entire social life. Fast forward 12 years later, I'm a father of a son that I never see (diagnosed with Aspergers last year), 2x divorced, friendless, and just don't understand why I am the way I am now. After my son was diagnosed with Aspergers I started doing a lot of research and found that I too may have Aspergers as well. I have been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder because there are days where I can't sleep to well and can be somewhat impulsive but I feel its more than just that. I sit up and think about my life and why I'm so disliked, why I get bullied as a 30 year old, why I can't find love, and why I hate my job because people just won't leave me alone. I feel like I'm rambling now but this is just another weekend where I'm in my apartment, watching tv, and drinking to ease the pain.
I sit back and think about so many things, I can even remember things from elementary school that today I look back on as f'd up. I really never had friends or true relationships as they were all predicated on people using me. One thing that makes me feel as though I have Aspergers is the taking everything literal, speaking in a monotone voice, the "zoning out" and not knowing when to end or start a conversation. Its so difficult to make friends or to have real connections because at this point in my life I feel like it's too hard and I don't know how to do it. For the longest I have even tried doing things solo but I just look odd and lonely. I don't get the whole social structure and why some people are so well liked. All of this stuff depresses me and it sucks.
So I'm here to try and make friends in a different way and also speak to those who are similar to me. While I might not have Aspergers as a diagnosis I truly feel like I'm living life like an Aspie and at this point I just want to be a better person. I want to learn how to make friends and how to have a better social life. I want to learn what it is to be "normal" or whatever the word is and to just have a better life all around.
Thanks
I have searched around the internet and feel like this is a place that I can talk and people might listen. My whole life I have always felt different and was the odd person out. I prided myself on being weird and different in High School and actually made "friends" and had an entire social life. Fast forward 12 years later, I'm a father of a son that I never see (diagnosed with Aspergers last year), 2x divorced, friendless, and just don't understand why I am the way I am now. After my son was diagnosed with Aspergers I started doing a lot of research and found that I too may have Aspergers as well. I have been diagnosed as having bipolar disorder because there are days where I can't sleep to well and can be somewhat impulsive but I feel its more than just that. I sit up and think about my life and why I'm so disliked, why I get bullied as a 30 year old, why I can't find love, and why I hate my job because people just won't leave me alone. I feel like I'm rambling now but this is just another weekend where I'm in my apartment, watching tv, and drinking to ease the pain.
I sit back and think about so many things, I can even remember things from elementary school that today I look back on as f'd up. I really never had friends or true relationships as they were all predicated on people using me. One thing that makes me feel as though I have Aspergers is the taking everything literal, speaking in a monotone voice, the "zoning out" and not knowing when to end or start a conversation. Its so difficult to make friends or to have real connections because at this point in my life I feel like it's too hard and I don't know how to do it. For the longest I have even tried doing things solo but I just look odd and lonely. I don't get the whole social structure and why some people are so well liked. All of this stuff depresses me and it sucks.
So I'm here to try and make friends in a different way and also speak to those who are similar to me. While I might not have Aspergers as a diagnosis I truly feel like I'm living life like an Aspie and at this point I just want to be a better person. I want to learn how to make friends and how to have a better social life. I want to learn what it is to be "normal" or whatever the word is and to just have a better life all around.
Thanks
