Hello, people of this corner of the internet.
I come to you as someone who is unsure of what really makes me tick, but have always known that to some extent I was a bit different than the other children growing up. Whether I paid any heed to that was a different story entirely.
I had the benefit of a supportive mother who also was a special education teacher, and I think that assisted me in getting to where I am today, but the thought never really crossed my mind to see about getting a diagnosis from someone not so emotionally invested, a number of years later. It was only a fairly recent (not negative, mind you) comment from her that caused me to even think of the possibility that I was on the autism spectrum.
I've always been one for the introverted activities; gaming and reading really strike my fancy (with a special focus on TVTropes, where I found out about this forum), and I've never been much for physical activities. I did experience problems with a bully from an early age and took martial arts from age 8 to 18, something that I feel, looking back, positively impacted my self-worth and physical coordination (and something I can definitely recommend to anyone, even if after 10 years I got quickly bored of it, complicated by a lack of free time once I hit college). I have social media, but rarely use it, as I find the squabbles and endless torrent of... sameness coming out on a daily basis to be interesting to watch but not participate in, hence I rarely post in them.
I don't ever blame my actions on how I might be, but feel that to some extent knowing the why and how of what makes me the way I am will go a bit further in attempting to alleviate the issues I face on a day to day basis. Things like social anxiety in varying degrees depending on the situation, the feeling that many of my interactions to those I don't consider "friends" are entirely mechanical (which is mentally exhausting, even if I learn and attempt to build upon this knowledge base every time I do), shutting down in unfamiliar or uncomfortable social situations, and a general lack of motivation to do things outside of whatever interests me at the time are among some of the issues mentioned above.
How does one actually go about getting a diagnosis for what I believe to be at issue? Is it even really an issue considering I've made it this far? I have made it to where I am today despite, or because of these flaws, perceived, real or otherwise.
I'm really terrible at these sort of things; initiating new and unknown procedures without an adequate understanding of how to go about them is something I have a heavy distaste for, and it always makes me feel extremely awkward. I'd rather stick with what I know, even if it's boring, as I find things being predictable to be comforting... even if some part of my brain recognizes that it's not really in my best interests in some cases.
Even signing up for this very forum was wrought with a bit of deliberation before finally taking the plunge, and I had intended to lurk/put it off a bit longer before registering and posting.
But here I am, and this is some part of me.
I come to you as someone who is unsure of what really makes me tick, but have always known that to some extent I was a bit different than the other children growing up. Whether I paid any heed to that was a different story entirely.
I had the benefit of a supportive mother who also was a special education teacher, and I think that assisted me in getting to where I am today, but the thought never really crossed my mind to see about getting a diagnosis from someone not so emotionally invested, a number of years later. It was only a fairly recent (not negative, mind you) comment from her that caused me to even think of the possibility that I was on the autism spectrum.
I've always been one for the introverted activities; gaming and reading really strike my fancy (with a special focus on TVTropes, where I found out about this forum), and I've never been much for physical activities. I did experience problems with a bully from an early age and took martial arts from age 8 to 18, something that I feel, looking back, positively impacted my self-worth and physical coordination (and something I can definitely recommend to anyone, even if after 10 years I got quickly bored of it, complicated by a lack of free time once I hit college). I have social media, but rarely use it, as I find the squabbles and endless torrent of... sameness coming out on a daily basis to be interesting to watch but not participate in, hence I rarely post in them.
I don't ever blame my actions on how I might be, but feel that to some extent knowing the why and how of what makes me the way I am will go a bit further in attempting to alleviate the issues I face on a day to day basis. Things like social anxiety in varying degrees depending on the situation, the feeling that many of my interactions to those I don't consider "friends" are entirely mechanical (which is mentally exhausting, even if I learn and attempt to build upon this knowledge base every time I do), shutting down in unfamiliar or uncomfortable social situations, and a general lack of motivation to do things outside of whatever interests me at the time are among some of the issues mentioned above.
How does one actually go about getting a diagnosis for what I believe to be at issue? Is it even really an issue considering I've made it this far? I have made it to where I am today despite, or because of these flaws, perceived, real or otherwise.
I'm really terrible at these sort of things; initiating new and unknown procedures without an adequate understanding of how to go about them is something I have a heavy distaste for, and it always makes me feel extremely awkward. I'd rather stick with what I know, even if it's boring, as I find things being predictable to be comforting... even if some part of my brain recognizes that it's not really in my best interests in some cases.
Even signing up for this very forum was wrought with a bit of deliberation before finally taking the plunge, and I had intended to lurk/put it off a bit longer before registering and posting.
But here I am, and this is some part of me.
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