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Hello.

Christa

Christa

New Member
Hi, folks.
My name's Christine. I'm currently unemployed, after having a breakdown several years back. I'm an animation student and a cartoonist. I've been in therapy for my adult life (and briefly, before.) I've been working on anxiety, agoraphobia with panic disorder. Recently as I've been opening up about sensory issues, my therapist has been returning to guiding me to come to some acceptance about being on the ASD spectrum. I've been very familiar with folks with severe autism, and thought I understood Asperger's, so this has been at the same time something where I could see some o0f the traits in myself, yet it still comes as a surprise. To be honest I'm a little nonplussed.
Anyway, that's me.
-C
 
Christa said:
Hi, folks.
My name's Christine. I'm currently unemployed, after having a breakdown several years back. I'm an animation student and a cartoonist. I've been in therapy for my adult life (and briefly, before.) I've been working on anxiety, agoraphobia with panic disorder. Recently as I've been opening up about sensory issues, my therapist has been returning to guiding me to come to some acceptance about being on the ASD spectrum. I've been very familiar with folks with severe autism, and thought I understood Asperger's, so this has been at the same time something where I could see some o0f the traits in myself, yet it still comes as a surprise. To be honest I'm a little nonplussed.
Anyway, that's me.
-C
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Hi there!!! Welcome!!! I have agoraphobia also and glossophobia after constant belittlement from my own parents. I'm working on myself too. You're accepted here.
 
Christa said:
Is that a fear of all speaking, or just public speaking?
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My fear of All speaking for me is a terrible condition brought on by my mother who would always call me stupid and worthless. So, I just kept quiet and it is still affecting me today. Every time I spoke up for myself, she always shot me down and it happened in school as well with peers laughing at me. My brother helped by making fun of me and my father ignoring me. I'm scared to speak at all now.
 
Welcome to AC. I can understand how you feel. I was diagnosed with clinical depression, social anxiety and OCD...but none of it at the time (1982) was ever linked to being on the spectrum of autism. It's been quite a journey of self-discovery for me, to find out who and what I believe I am relative to so many symptoms over a lifetime.

But coming to an understanding of "why" means a great deal to me. I hope you find such answers you may be looking for as well.
 
Catlover614 said:
My fear of All speaking for me is a terrible condition brought on by my mother who would always call me stupid and worthless. So, I just kept quiet and it is still affecting me today. Every time I spoke up for myself, she always shot me down and it happened in school as well with peers laughing at me. My brother helped by making fun of me and my father ignoring me. I'm scared to speak at all now.
Click to expand...

How terrible!!!! It certainly makes every bit of sense to be afraid of speaking now. :( I hope you can make your gifts shine regardless.
 
Christa said:
How terrible!!!! It certainly makes every bit of sense to be afraid of speaking now. :( I hope you can make your gifts shine regardless.
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I'm a work in progress...:p.
And, thank you very much! I have just a dim light shining in my soul now, but it's getting brighter as I keep moving forward especially with kind folks like you....:)
 
Judge said:
Welcome to AC. I can understand how you feel. I was diagnosed with clinical depression, social anxiety and OCD...but none of it at the time (1982) was ever linked to being on the spectrum of autism. It's been quite a journey of self-discovery for me, to find out who and what I believe I am relative to so many symptoms over a lifetime.

But coming to an understanding of "why" means a great deal to me. I hope you find such answers you may be looking for as well.
Click to expand...

Certainly realizing other people share some of my "peculiarities" has been a stunning revelation. I've been a special ed teacher working with moderate to severe autism, so I'd recognized some of the traits in myself, but through a mix of denial and lack of exposure to more high functioning folks, did not consider myself to be on the spectrum until my very patient therapist broke through.

It's amazing to learn that I'm not alone in some of the things I experience, and I'm glad to be here, if a bit skittish yet.
 
Christa said:
Certainly realizing other people share some of my "peculiarities" has been a stunning revelation. I've been a special ed teacher working with moderate to severe autism, so I'd recognized some of the traits in myself, but through a mix of denial and lack of exposure to more high functioning folks, did not consider myself to be on the spectrum until my very patient therapist broke through.

It's amazing to learn that I'm not alone in some of the things I experience, and I'm glad to be here, if a bit skittish yet.
Click to expand...

Yes indeed....denial. There was a lot of it on my part. This wasn't a simple and linear process that led me to believe I was on the spectrum of autism. It was a "bumpy ride" for me. ;)

But when you begin to interact with so many others in forums like this, you begin to realize not only with many people, but also in great detail how we all manifest our autistic traits and behaviors. A critical "tool" in learning who and what we actually are.

That we are different, but not necessarily deficient.
 
Welcome! I rarely leave the house myself as it is just too uncomfortable in many ways for me. I feel like you came to the right place, I just joined and everyone is very friendly and helpful here.
 
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