Jason Swartz
New Member
I'm 36 years old. I was adopted at 6 months old with my half-sister. My adopted family wanted a girl, and after waiting 2 years to adopt, decided to take me as well as my half-sister. 1 year later at 18 months, my half-sister was taken away and a 2 year court battle insued with no answer as to why they would break up our family.
I was told all of this when I was 5. Having 2 childhood losses in the first 18 months left me with serious abandonment issues that were not helped by my adopted family. They gave me tough love and still stand by their decision. I was told I was "sick" and "mentally ill". I was put in counseling before I was in kindergarten, and Ritalin by 2nd grade.
I was given back to the state at 13 and spent the next 5 years in residential.
I made it on my own(not working) until the age of 25, where my parents began paying my rent and bills. They have given me money almost every week since, coming down on me for not being able to support myself. They demanded of me I get in thererapy to get better, but what I discovered was more than I can handle.
My adopted mother has never talked to me, and when I try to talk to her, she gets aggitated and mean with me. I have explained to her how wrong it was for them to neglect me, and that she was dealing with a loss, thus not her fault. She attests to this day that she was perfect and I was a bad child.
I've tried to explain to her that parents are responsible for how their children turn out. She does not understand how this is even possible.
My adopted brother has Aspergers as well, as he has never apologized to anyone either. My adopted father however does not have it. He had a stroke 8 years ago and is not in possession of all of his faculties. That means my abusive mother controls what he thinks.
I attempted suicide last year after speaking to my adopted mother, in which I suffered a fractured and dislocated spine(still waiting to see if I can get surgery...) she says that Jesus died so she can go to heaven and not feel bad about her sins.
She already has her mind made up about me and there is never anything I can say to change her mind by getting to know who I am.
I am really going out of my mind after discovering that I was a neglected child. All the signs are there, no fine motor skills, impaired social interactions(due to attachment disorder), impaired education(dyslexia and dyscalculia). My adopyed parents are high school teachers. They also had me convinced until just recently that I was a bad child.
I do not know how to deal with them. You adopt a child because you want to give them more love, not tough love and never resolving punishments. I had to figure it all out myself while they insist I knew what I was doing as a child.
5 years of residential, 1 year of hospitalizations where they told them I was schizophrenic(I'm not) and a childhood where I wasn't even taught how to wipe my butt or brush my teeth before I go to the dentist. I can not live this lie anymore, they are withholding money and medication from me now unless I admit I was a bad kid and they are perfect. I would go make my own money if I didn't have my back pain after my suicide attempt last year in February.
I do not know how to deal with this situation. I'm sure that nobody has had the same circumstances as I have, but could offer their experiences to help me see new options without having to admit I was the one who destroyed their family and they played no part in it.
I was told all of this when I was 5. Having 2 childhood losses in the first 18 months left me with serious abandonment issues that were not helped by my adopted family. They gave me tough love and still stand by their decision. I was told I was "sick" and "mentally ill". I was put in counseling before I was in kindergarten, and Ritalin by 2nd grade.
I was given back to the state at 13 and spent the next 5 years in residential.
I made it on my own(not working) until the age of 25, where my parents began paying my rent and bills. They have given me money almost every week since, coming down on me for not being able to support myself. They demanded of me I get in thererapy to get better, but what I discovered was more than I can handle.
My adopted mother has never talked to me, and when I try to talk to her, she gets aggitated and mean with me. I have explained to her how wrong it was for them to neglect me, and that she was dealing with a loss, thus not her fault. She attests to this day that she was perfect and I was a bad child.
I've tried to explain to her that parents are responsible for how their children turn out. She does not understand how this is even possible.
My adopted brother has Aspergers as well, as he has never apologized to anyone either. My adopted father however does not have it. He had a stroke 8 years ago and is not in possession of all of his faculties. That means my abusive mother controls what he thinks.
I attempted suicide last year after speaking to my adopted mother, in which I suffered a fractured and dislocated spine(still waiting to see if I can get surgery...) she says that Jesus died so she can go to heaven and not feel bad about her sins.
She already has her mind made up about me and there is never anything I can say to change her mind by getting to know who I am.
I am really going out of my mind after discovering that I was a neglected child. All the signs are there, no fine motor skills, impaired social interactions(due to attachment disorder), impaired education(dyslexia and dyscalculia). My adopyed parents are high school teachers. They also had me convinced until just recently that I was a bad child.
I do not know how to deal with them. You adopt a child because you want to give them more love, not tough love and never resolving punishments. I had to figure it all out myself while they insist I knew what I was doing as a child.
5 years of residential, 1 year of hospitalizations where they told them I was schizophrenic(I'm not) and a childhood where I wasn't even taught how to wipe my butt or brush my teeth before I go to the dentist. I can not live this lie anymore, they are withholding money and medication from me now unless I admit I was a bad kid and they are perfect. I would go make my own money if I didn't have my back pain after my suicide attempt last year in February.
I do not know how to deal with this situation. I'm sure that nobody has had the same circumstances as I have, but could offer their experiences to help me see new options without having to admit I was the one who destroyed their family and they played no part in it.
