So let me start off by saying that I have not been officially diagnosed with Asperger's but have recently come to the conclusion that it could be the answer to the question I've always asked myself, "why am I different?"
It kind of clicked when I had seen a post on Facebook that the show The Big Bang Theory was ending and someone had made comment about Sheldon being autistic. This confused me because I was ignorant as to what autism actually was. I'm not necessarily a hardcore fan, but I do enjoy watching the show when it is on. I had always told my wife that I identify with Sheldon, not as a renowned physicist obviously, but in his social interactions, mannerisms, and overall personality. Although Sheldon does have better social interactions than myself, it is just a character in a show and for one to keep to themselves would make for a boring character. So I looked into how Sheldon may be autistic and everything that makes me feel that I am connected to him is what puts him on the spectrum.
My wife and I have been having a lot of relationship troubles lately. Mostly complaining about my inability to communicate with her on almost anything, especially my emotions. As I researched more on autism and Asperger's, I see a lot of where our relationship problems could be coming from.
I have taken a few online self-diagnosis tests and each one says I am very likely to have Asperger's syndrome. I know things like WebMD is a real doctor's nightmare but it could help give me answers and coming to a community like this could help me learn how to deal with it.
I cannot get an official diagnosis at this time because I am in the Army (which doesn't help with the perceived cold personality) and only six years from retirement. I am not sure how a diagnosis would change anything as far as career wise, but it is not worth the risk.
I have mostly come here to learn how to build friendships with something like this. If I was to be honest with myself, I would say that my wife is really my only friend (and some days I question that lol, just kidding). Looking back on my life, I really haven't had any close friends and no friendships that actually last. My only real childhood friend was a cousin and I rarely even speak to her now, just because I don't know how. I don't know how to connect with anyone. My mom was recently diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time and my dad is battling drug addiction to the point of several ODs in the hospital. I feel that part of my dad's problem is our lost connection and it is a cry for attention. But I can't even connect with either one of them in their hard times. I had a good childhood and have no reason that I shouldn't talk to them, I just can't.
Even in things that I enjoy (mostly Jeeps and off-roading), I can't start conversations with people I don't know. Just a few days ago my wife pointed out how socially awkward I was with a guy trying to start a conversation with me. He came up and asked about the tires I used and I just pretty much said they are good and I like them. Cut and dry. No continuation of the topic. However, if I get on a topic with my wife, I won't shut up. She sometimes has to stop me because I had already talked to her about it. She also says I talk about a lot of useless stuff.
So yeah, guess I'm here to learn how to make friends...?
It kind of clicked when I had seen a post on Facebook that the show The Big Bang Theory was ending and someone had made comment about Sheldon being autistic. This confused me because I was ignorant as to what autism actually was. I'm not necessarily a hardcore fan, but I do enjoy watching the show when it is on. I had always told my wife that I identify with Sheldon, not as a renowned physicist obviously, but in his social interactions, mannerisms, and overall personality. Although Sheldon does have better social interactions than myself, it is just a character in a show and for one to keep to themselves would make for a boring character. So I looked into how Sheldon may be autistic and everything that makes me feel that I am connected to him is what puts him on the spectrum.
My wife and I have been having a lot of relationship troubles lately. Mostly complaining about my inability to communicate with her on almost anything, especially my emotions. As I researched more on autism and Asperger's, I see a lot of where our relationship problems could be coming from.
I have taken a few online self-diagnosis tests and each one says I am very likely to have Asperger's syndrome. I know things like WebMD is a real doctor's nightmare but it could help give me answers and coming to a community like this could help me learn how to deal with it.
I cannot get an official diagnosis at this time because I am in the Army (which doesn't help with the perceived cold personality) and only six years from retirement. I am not sure how a diagnosis would change anything as far as career wise, but it is not worth the risk.
I have mostly come here to learn how to build friendships with something like this. If I was to be honest with myself, I would say that my wife is really my only friend (and some days I question that lol, just kidding). Looking back on my life, I really haven't had any close friends and no friendships that actually last. My only real childhood friend was a cousin and I rarely even speak to her now, just because I don't know how. I don't know how to connect with anyone. My mom was recently diagnosed with breast cancer for the second time and my dad is battling drug addiction to the point of several ODs in the hospital. I feel that part of my dad's problem is our lost connection and it is a cry for attention. But I can't even connect with either one of them in their hard times. I had a good childhood and have no reason that I shouldn't talk to them, I just can't.
Even in things that I enjoy (mostly Jeeps and off-roading), I can't start conversations with people I don't know. Just a few days ago my wife pointed out how socially awkward I was with a guy trying to start a conversation with me. He came up and asked about the tires I used and I just pretty much said they are good and I like them. Cut and dry. No continuation of the topic. However, if I get on a topic with my wife, I won't shut up. She sometimes has to stop me because I had already talked to her about it. She also says I talk about a lot of useless stuff.
So yeah, guess I'm here to learn how to make friends...?
