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Hello

M

mannyesco_99

New Member
Im 31 years old, I was diagonsed as a child with aspergers, my life is hell, I have failed at every single aspect of my life, I have NO friends, no income, Im an embarassment and a void to my own family, I hate MY life, I ask myself everyday why was I even born, i must've did some horrible things in my past life to get this point of suffering
 
Welcome, and I'm very sorry to hear that you're struggling. I sometimes think the same thing, that I must have done something horrible in a past life (or I'm being punished for something) to deserve all the suffering I've gone through.

But this is a kind and supportive group of people who can definitely offer some advice and compassion. I hope you will feel comfortable posting here, and you don't have to open up about anything until you're 100% ready.
 
Hello, I am glad you joined. I hope you will like it here as many will relate. Growing up I had no friends too and I felt like a failure in many ways. socially, occupationally, and in terms of relationships. I lived alone for twenty years with no friends, and I lived on a disability income in low cost housing, struggling in a society seeming against me.. I eventually found ways to grow in terms of building my self esteem, not letting events and others make me negative in life, and in defining happiness and success in my own ways. No longer did I see feeling different from others as bad, and no longer did I focus on results but in my efforts and the smaller things that most could not see. I'm sorry you feel horrible right now, and I and most others here have been there, and some still are. Many will give you support, or even try to help find some answers--for you. Feel free to PM me anytime, too. I always welcome all to do the same.
 
welcome to af.png
 
Hey, you sound a tab depressed. Do you need to speak to a therapist? Sometimes this helps. I do relate to what you are saying. I started jogging-running about 10+ years plus. This has helped me manage a lot of my thinking patterns that weren't positive. Is there some type of exercise you enjoy? Biking, basketball, martial arts? Some gyms will give you free membership if you clean or work front desk, as l know you said money is difficult.

You can go to social services in your city and asked to be trained for work or apply for jobs. They can help you with your resume. You just put down your strengths and school education if you don't have current work experience. Bigger towns donate a bus pass. Goodwill will help you, they specialize in this specifically. You can try to apply for welfare. Please let us know how you are doing. Your path may be hard, but maybe you can work on trying to move forward.
 
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Welcome. You are not alone about your feelings. I was diagnosed at 60, so I had to cope with my feelings of worthlessness and fear/anxiety of rejection, not knowing I was ASD even as I suffered through social and sexual isolation as a teen and young adult. Consequently, the only thing I knew how to do was apply myself to change. It was horrible at times, failing at times, but I made progress personally and in relationships.

Do you have goals for yourself that you can articulate. I am sure people here will give you encouragement.
(added) ps. One is not punished for your past life. You are offered a chance to learn the lessons that you didn't learn the last time, So, be kind.
 
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mannyesco_99 said:
Im 31 years old, I was diagonsed as a child with aspergers, my life is hell, I have failed at every single aspect of my life, I have NO friends, no income, Im an embarassment and a void to my own family, I hate MY life, I ask myself everyday why was I even born, i must've did some horrible things in my past life to get this point of suffering
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I feel it has been a very hard life for me being autistic. All the rejection for being the way I am until I shutdown and withdrew. Lots of unhappiness. This is a good place though and sometimes someone will talk about something that helps you understand yourself or feels stunning because you have never met them but they have the exact same experience as you do.

Sometimes people will talk about interesting things or funny things and you can laugh. It is a nice place and it helps. Welcome.
 
Hi and welcome! Isolation is indeed common for many of us, and while online interactions aren't quite the same as real life / in person interactions, you'll find that, as others had noted, that we're a pretty friendly bunch and we can talk about pretty much anything.
 
Hi and welcome, sorry things have been so hard, it's good that you are here, we do understand the challenges and isolation you experience, many of us are up against this. We are differently wired, but still we have some great upsides, people here who have had really difficult times have good advice for others often, you probably can help others here too, so please do post on threads. It's good to feel understood, mostly we get each other here. Or try to. Well done for finding the site!
 
mannyesco_99 said:
Im 31 years old, I was diagonsed as a child with aspergers, my life is hell, I have failed at every single aspect of my life, I have NO friends, no income, Im an embarassment and a void to my own family, I hate MY life, I ask myself everyday why was I even born, i must've did some horrible things in my past life to get this point of suffering
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Hi and Welcome, i can relate to your whole introduction, only one year older is the difference. Life sucks indeed, especially when you try very hard to survive.
Take care
 
Hello and welcome – I have found great support here, I hope that you do too. Weirdly, sometimes offering support to others here is equally helpful, somehow, even if you are feeling down yourself.

I don’t know you, but I have this very strong feeling that you are not now and never were a horrible person. If you are suffering, it does not mean that you deserve it.
 
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